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About peachesandbrownie

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  1. peachesandbrownie

    Medication change?

    HI I am sorry that you are experiencing such a time with medication. I am glad you are getting therapy though. As in the previous reply we don't all respond the same to medications for various reasons. But I am certsin each reply you get will be one sent with empathy as we each have our story of on and off medication. I never took medication until I was 40. I did so for severe panic attacks that began to increase due to a painful family situation. Having never tried a medication I was not aware of what I might feel like on a medication. Strangely enough though I did feel some odd numbing of my emotions for several days; I felt calmer. After a while I just forgot about it and went on with my life without panick attacks. I never really thought about how the medication helped in other ways until I decided that the weight gain was more then I could stand.So I befan a slow weaning process. I had no idea I was going through withdrawals ever as I had never been on a medicine. Long story coming to close and summary. After coming of of the medicine I was back to the old panic Again. But after awhile I became depressed and irritable with my life. Apparently the medicine made me feel so well and good that never realized how awful I felt all those years. I did eventually go back on it and got well. But I can of a few more times and got too. I have since then tried different medications as well as done counseling. Each have kept me stable but not as stable as the first. It's been 18 years since I first started meds and have battled with my mind on whether I need them or not, switched due to them not helping as well or not liking the side effects. In the past year after going through several of the ADs my PCD have up on me. So I sought out a path to genetic testing . That has explained a lot of why my medications do not help or cause uncomfortable side effects. Presently I was on Ecitalopram (lexapro) which does help my MDD but not my panick Or other anxieties that prevent me from working or enjoying life as I had on my first medication. So have been cross tapering to a medicine I have not tried. I don't know if it is a good fit but I don't feel it is. The start up is fine with no side effects physically but I was feeling more depressed after the first week of reducing the escitalopram some and I do feel strangely irritable with strange dislikes toward family that I would not normally feel that way. My pharmacist thinks I might have dropped the Escitalpram too fast or that the new med is not really compatible with my genetics. So I increased my escitalopram back to 5mg and felt a little better. I skipped one say of the new med to see if that was causing the strange feelings toward my family. I felt great that day but that afternoon my no we and muscles felt like someone was crushing them. So apparently I wont have physical side effects starting the new med But I will have a terrible withdrawal. So my rambling is trying to say it can take a while of trial and error but awareness and great strength to push through it. As well as advocating for yourself to feel well. But remember if you find the best med as I have in the past there may be a side effect you can or can not live with. Oh.. My best med from the start give issues with weight because I have an enzyme that is defected already and the medicine inhibits that enzyme to use another enzyme. So the medicine does not clear as it should . so I need lower doses. Ps I have working on being more responsible for how I feel with how I think and process my thoughts. Hang in there.
  2. peachesandbrownie

    Desvenlafaxine startup fear

    Thank you Jay89. That is interesting what you said about the capsule not dissolving. I take tablets of the time release. I am on day 7 but I have not had any increased anxiety. It does help with my obsessing over meds though. Yet I have been feeling more depressed and empty then when I started. I was on the 10mg of Escitalopram and have dropped 5 mg. Of that to start the 50mg of the genetic Pristique.
  3. Hi. I have the same issue with different ADs. This day 7 of a reduction of escitalopram and supplementing generic Pristique. I can't complain of physical symptoms as there are none. But I do feel empty and more depressed.
  4. peachesandbrownie

    Desvenlafaxine startup fear

    I took the jump and began the bridge from escitalopram 10 to the desvenlafaxi generic pristiq. Taking 5mg escitalopram and 50 mg desvenlafaxi. As well as my clonazapram stable .25 am and .50 pm. Two days in and I feel sad and with bouts of tiredness and irritable feelings between escitalopram doses. Any support would be helpful.....
  5. Hi. I have been on an off of these forums. Sometimes sharing and gettingvadvice for withdrawals and other times seeking support to start a medication again. I do battle with major depression with no question of whether it Is real or not. My struggle has always been-as with most that 'choose' to use medical treatment- finding a medicine that is not magic but will keep my dark thoughts at bay as well as calm my anxiety and panic disorder without having my fear of meds interfere with the progress of a new medicine. Thats a lot... I know. Anyway I recently had a genetic test done to rule out the meds that work most likely cause uncomfortable side effects due to non functioning enzymes and genes. Though I have been on lexapro and am still it has always made me very edgy in the afternoon. Apparently that is Because I metabolize it to fast and need a higher dose. But another faulty gene causes me worse side effects if I increase in. Any way... The gene test shows that Pristique uses my healthy enzymes and is on the list of minimal to no side effects for 'me'. But though I began my crossover last night I can't stop my anxiety of waiting for a bad side effect because I foolishly read the reviews. Has any here ever had a good reaction with desvenlafaxime or Pristique that could set my anxious mind to ease. Please..... I know there are some that had bad. reactions to this or another med. But we are each different So It would help me to hear some positive encouragement about this medicine if there is any. I am usually an encourage... But now I need the encouragement. Thanks in advance.
  6. peachesandbrownie

    Lexapro Vs. Pristiq

    Just want to say thank you for all if the feedback to the original post. Each thought was helpful to me. I too have tried different ADs and also have anxiety with panic. I recently had a gene test for compatible medicine with my enzymes etc. Many of the recommended med were ones I have tried... But I have to admit I think my anxiety prevented me from ever getting to a therapeutic dose. With that being said I am presently on 10my Ecitalopram with clonazapram with not much for side effects and somewhat improved depression within a few weeks. But I do not take a theraputic dose of clonazapram in the day as was trying to wean off if it several no the ago and hit a bump so I stopped and stayed at .50 pm and .25 am. My gene tests revealed that pristique was a good choice with zero inhibitors of my faulty enzyme pathways. I am thinking of trying It as I have read more good then bad about it. I am hoping it helps my depression as well but the anxiety and panic better then the escitalopram so I can stop the clonaxapram one day.
  7. peachesandbrownie

    Getting back on paxil

    Hi lilnewk I know this is a very old post. But I was curious if you still follow this site and are you doing well again on the paxil?
  8. peachesandbrownie

    FDA Warns of Suicide Risk for Paxil

    I just want to thank all of those patients that have spoke in support of paxil. I have to admit that the process of stopping the medicine when done abruptly or too fast is grueling but if I had a bad experience and felt hopeless it was not the medicine but my depression. I do believe that now especially because paxil is THE only anti depressant that has given me a chance to feel like living each day and a desire to enjoy my life and deliver me ftom my dark depression; and I recently weaned off and into another due to the weight gain and some metabolizing issues and have not been well. Though I have tried Sertaline, escitalopram, Citalopram, and prozac I am now severely depressed again through non compatible meds. Now for me this is when the suicidal thoughts come in. Not because of being on the paxil but being off of paxil for me. I began a weaning process from 20 mgs. onto another medicine listed here in April 2017. I was successfully off paxil in December of 2017. I took 8 months to wean and cross over. Tonight I have been off of paxil and tried others for 4 months and am throwing in the towel. I am going back on to the paxil. I have no desire to do anything and hate the thought of waking each day Just to drag through and try another medicine that makes me sick, anxious, and one - the Prozac has been the worst of all for me. But having said all of that I know that each of those meds mentioned have been a life saver for different people I know. Just not me. And for some of those that the other meds work the paxil did not. To those who are against paxil and the black box warning..remember they all have that warning It is not the medicine that is so bad. It is our genetics and the different pathways the meds use that do not corporate with the medicine and cause the side effects.
  9. Hi. I am highly sensitive to AD,s. And though aside from the nasty weight gain paxil worked wonders for me. However last year my newer med manager doctor suggested I would be fine on another med. If I was uncomfortable with the weight gain . So I weaned off of 20mgs. paxiI through a Prozac bridge for 9 months beginning last April. I Finished the paxil drop by December 2917 and lingered on a low dose of Prozac until I had some very rough spots in mid January, then I stopped that last 5 mg. Dose. I was up and down with mild depression but By mid February my depression was coming back heavily. My PCP had all but given up on me because I seem to have a low tolerance the side effects of each med they try me on. Though I had tried and failed the Sertaline last I she was willing to work with me again and now again I stopped each trial of a new med after a week due to extreme anxiety , zoning out, or chest pressure. Since stopping the prozac bridge I have tried Citalopram, escitalopram (again-that was one I was on before the paxil ), and Sertalinetwo times which was this last one I tried , but I could not tolerate any of them. At my last visit when she prescribed the Sertaline again to see if I could ride it through but she said she would save the Prozac as a last resort. But because of my fail with the sertraline again my PCP is now uncomfortable and refuses to prescribe for me. And instead has referred me to a specialist and cardiologist due to the chest pains with a couple meds. The problem is "I battle clinical depression" and if I am not on somethongvthatveorks and is tolerable I will end up in the hospital I fear. So having been on the 25mg. Sertaline for Only one week ( note-it did help my anxiety and panic disorder after 4 days ) and off them for 2 days I am getting that yucky anxious feeling in my gut and my thoughts are already declining more. I felt like I had no choice but to turn to my supply of Prozac and start up slowly with 5mgs of that, though the comparible dose is 10mg. I am hoping it will work as well as it did for the bridge without the paxil withdrawal anxiety and I can report that to my doctor. After all it was prescribed to me at an earlier date and I should have enough to carry me through to the 6 to 8 week full therapeutic period. Any thoughts or comments on this or the use / early Discontinuation of sertraline due to side effects woukd be appreciated
  10. peachesandbrownie

    Unemployed 10+ years & Depressed

    Musicfiend, I am very sorry you felt only negative energy from my own and the other earlier response. I don't believe either of us were trying to make you feel worse. Apparrently we did and I am sincerely sorry for that. Yes I am a bit older than you but certainly not so old that I can not recall my own struggling years in my twenties. I too had hopes and dreams and had a very difficult time achieving them. One thing though I have learned as an older person who had to get counseling for my depression was coming to terms with the source of my inner pain and learning the difference between the chemical pieces and the circumstances that cause my depression. I am still working on those pieces myself. It seems to be a life long challenge. I hope you return to the forum because this is where you will find those who struggle as you do and are also trying to make the best of their life which includes living with dpression. But try not to just to look for responses that sound good to your hurting emotions, but consider the content usefulness from those that may not seem so welcoming; but are truly sent with good intentions most of the time-mine as. ; ), for they too may be usesful. Keep in mind that though all of our journeys through depression may differ some they all do carry unwanted negative emotions that can cause unintended negative reactions. Trust me we all struggle with them and each of us have to find our own way through them which is often hurting those close to us.
  11. peachesandbrownie

    Unemployed 10+ years & Depressed

    Dear Musicfiend Its frustrating I realize to be 30 and unemployed. Yet as one who is in her 50's and has battled with anxiety, depression, I also single parented in my early years. Looking back on those days I believe you just have to look where you are qualified and be willing to start at the bottom if you are desperate enough to work. For you as a 30 year old living at home or with family I can also identify. On occassion if my depression got bad (and it did in the winter as I did not take meds back then) I would have a tough time working. When finances got too much for me on my own due to leaving work I was very blessed to have a grandmother who was always gracious to let me and my son move in for a while. During my stay with no money to contribute at times I showed my appreciation by helping around her home. I never had to be asked-it was a given. i married in my 20's and am now a 50 something married mom who does take medicine for depression and anxiety. It has no doubt been a struggle being on and off of medicine working and raising a family but the medicine has helped me to not only work and stay employed, but to enjoy my work. Going off the medicines or changing has made my life a harder challenge and robbed my joys. As far as your comments towards your family support and a place to stay, I also have unemployed adult kids in various stages of life that I love dearly. Two are still living at home and though they too battle with the genetic depression and anxiety I do; they have been educated about their unfortunate issue, have had treatment as young adults and now are expected to get help professionally for their own well being. They are also expected to support our family unit by helping around home where they can even when they are unemployed until they move on their own. After all they have years a head of them and there won't always be a hand or family home out there offering shelter from the storms of life and healthy meals to go with that shelter. I hope they are thankful. There is an old saying "Never bite the hand that feeds you." In closing, if you are struggling with depression see a doctor and a counselor too to help get yourself motivated for the real world out there so you can get your foot in the door of employment soon. Also, employers also hire according to personality. So I do hope your attitude at interviews brings out the best in you. Leave your negative points at home and bring your job skills only to your interviews. Be and present yourself as strong and confident. Good luck!!
  12. Hi there!

    I have been reading your posts on your celexa and lexapro switch.  I haven't found any up to date threads so I wonder how you are and if the lexapro helped.

  13. peachesandbrownie

    What's On Your Mind Right Now? (2)

    Unmotivated. Terrified of what's next without my medicine any longer. Tired of thinking about this depression I feel. Realizing my strength to encourage is waning. Two sons have been in the er this week both also battling depression and I no longer have the strength to be there as I am down in the dark hole with them finally. My husband is at a loss as to this chemical has run its course through each of his lived ones and he is not depressed from genetics yet becoming that way through circumstances. He is so upset that the drs wont help me get back on my meds that my psych talked me off of.
  14. peachesandbrownie

    The Devil I Know

    I am sorry. I feel your pain. It is so exhausting fighting these demons. But you must fight. Do whatever you have to. Get to the er. Call a friend. You are never alone as alone you may feel. Keep writing call out for a response here. Someone on your trail will come along and cry with you or hold you up. And walk along further with you till you feel better. Its terrible I know. If only those who treat us only knew the agony that we fight daily.
  15. Squekels if you are having SI you do need to get to the ER. I had those quite often when I was off aAD due to cold tukey and doctor tried to fix it with 75 mgs of zoloft. I felt so horrible. I feared for myself and went to er. I did eventually become an inpatient and get help. Now I too am a mess again having allowed myself to be talked into bridging from paxil (which was a godsent after years of trying others hopelessly) to prozac due to much weight gain again. Then another med mixup happened and put me in that withdrawal for one week. The result is now I can not seem to tolerate any other medicine and am presently two months into no meds and slipping into hopelessness slowly. Yesterday the doctor said no more meds and basically ruled me out as try another natural option due to my methylation genetic disorder. I had to close my business and now have no income or motivation and am glued to the computer all day. I cant function and want to get my life back but feel like I never will sometimes. I may just go to the er myself tomorrow rather than sit here all day .on paxil I never had to be so ocd about my emotional status. I was well.