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peachesandbrownie

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  1. peachesandbrownie

    Getting back on paxil

    Hi lilnewk I know this is a very old post. But I was curious if you still follow this site and are you doing well again on the paxil?
  2. peachesandbrownie

    FDA Warns of Suicide Risk for Paxil

    I just want to thank all of those patients that have spoke in support of paxil. I have to admit that the process of stopping the medicine when done abruptly or too fast is grueling but if I had a bad experience and felt hopeless it was not the medicine but my depression. I do believe that now especially because paxil is THE only anti depressant that has given me a chance to feel like living each day and a desire to enjoy my life and deliver me ftom my dark depression; and I recently weaned off and into another due to the weight gain and some metabolizing issues and have not been well. Though I have tried Sertaline, escitalopram, Citalopram, and prozac I am now severely depressed again through non compatible meds. Now for me this is when the suicidal thoughts come in. Not because of being on the paxil but being off of paxil for me. I began a weaning process from 20 mgs. onto another medicine listed here in April 2017. I was successfully off paxil in December of 2017. I took 8 months to wean and cross over. Tonight I have been off of paxil and tried others for 4 months and am throwing in the towel. I am going back on to the paxil. I have no desire to do anything and hate the thought of waking each day Just to drag through and try another medicine that makes me sick, anxious, and one - the Prozac has been the worst of all for me. But having said all of that I know that each of those meds mentioned have been a life saver for different people I know. Just not me. And for some of those that the other meds work the paxil did not. To those who are against paxil and the black box warning..remember they all have that warning It is not the medicine that is so bad. It is our genetics and the different pathways the meds use that do not corporate with the medicine and cause the side effects.
  3. Hi. I am highly sensitive to AD,s. And though aside from the nasty weight gain paxil worked wonders for me. However last year my newer med manager doctor suggested I would be fine on another med. If I was uncomfortable with the weight gain . So I weaned off of 20mgs. paxiI through a Prozac bridge for 9 months beginning last April. I Finished the paxil drop by December 2917 and lingered on a low dose of Prozac until I had some very rough spots in mid January, then I stopped that last 5 mg. Dose. I was up and down with mild depression but By mid February my depression was coming back heavily. My PCP had all but given up on me because I seem to have a low tolerance the side effects of each med they try me on. Though I had tried and failed the Sertaline last I she was willing to work with me again and now again I stopped each trial of a new med after a week due to extreme anxiety , zoning out, or chest pressure. Since stopping the prozac bridge I have tried Citalopram, escitalopram (again-that was one I was on before the paxil ), and Sertalinetwo times which was this last one I tried , but I could not tolerate any of them. At my last visit when she prescribed the Sertaline again to see if I could ride it through but she said she would save the Prozac as a last resort. But because of my fail with the sertraline again my PCP is now uncomfortable and refuses to prescribe for me. And instead has referred me to a specialist and cardiologist due to the chest pains with a couple meds. The problem is "I battle clinical depression" and if I am not on somethongvthatveorks and is tolerable I will end up in the hospital I fear. So having been on the 25mg. Sertaline for Only one week ( note-it did help my anxiety and panic disorder after 4 days ) and off them for 2 days I am getting that yucky anxious feeling in my gut and my thoughts are already declining more. I felt like I had no choice but to turn to my supply of Prozac and start up slowly with 5mgs of that, though the comparible dose is 10mg. I am hoping it will work as well as it did for the bridge without the paxil withdrawal anxiety and I can report that to my doctor. After all it was prescribed to me at an earlier date and I should have enough to carry me through to the 6 to 8 week full therapeutic period. Any thoughts or comments on this or the use / early Discontinuation of sertraline due to side effects woukd be appreciated
  4. peachesandbrownie

    Unemployed 10+ years & Depressed

    Musicfiend, I am very sorry you felt only negative energy from my own and the other earlier response. I don't believe either of us were trying to make you feel worse. Apparrently we did and I am sincerely sorry for that. Yes I am a bit older than you but certainly not so old that I can not recall my own struggling years in my twenties. I too had hopes and dreams and had a very difficult time achieving them. One thing though I have learned as an older person who had to get counseling for my depression was coming to terms with the source of my inner pain and learning the difference between the chemical pieces and the circumstances that cause my depression. I am still working on those pieces myself. It seems to be a life long challenge. I hope you return to the forum because this is where you will find those who struggle as you do and are also trying to make the best of their life which includes living with dpression. But try not to just to look for responses that sound good to your hurting emotions, but consider the content usefulness from those that may not seem so welcoming; but are truly sent with good intentions most of the time-mine as. ; ), for they too may be usesful. Keep in mind that though all of our journeys through depression may differ some they all do carry unwanted negative emotions that can cause unintended negative reactions. Trust me we all struggle with them and each of us have to find our own way through them which is often hurting those close to us.
  5. peachesandbrownie

    Unemployed 10+ years & Depressed

    Dear Musicfiend Its frustrating I realize to be 30 and unemployed. Yet as one who is in her 50's and has battled with anxiety, depression, I also single parented in my early years. Looking back on those days I believe you just have to look where you are qualified and be willing to start at the bottom if you are desperate enough to work. For you as a 30 year old living at home or with family I can also identify. On occassion if my depression got bad (and it did in the winter as I did not take meds back then) I would have a tough time working. When finances got too much for me on my own due to leaving work I was very blessed to have a grandmother who was always gracious to let me and my son move in for a while. During my stay with no money to contribute at times I showed my appreciation by helping around her home. I never had to be asked-it was a given. i married in my 20's and am now a 50 something married mom who does take medicine for depression and anxiety. It has no doubt been a struggle being on and off of medicine working and raising a family but the medicine has helped me to not only work and stay employed, but to enjoy my work. Going off the medicines or changing has made my life a harder challenge and robbed my joys. As far as your comments towards your family support and a place to stay, I also have unemployed adult kids in various stages of life that I love dearly. Two are still living at home and though they too battle with the genetic depression and anxiety I do; they have been educated about their unfortunate issue, have had treatment as young adults and now are expected to get help professionally for their own well being. They are also expected to support our family unit by helping around home where they can even when they are unemployed until they move on their own. After all they have years a head of them and there won't always be a hand or family home out there offering shelter from the storms of life and healthy meals to go with that shelter. I hope they are thankful. There is an old saying "Never bite the hand that feeds you." In closing, if you are struggling with depression see a doctor and a counselor too to help get yourself motivated for the real world out there so you can get your foot in the door of employment soon. Also, employers also hire according to personality. So I do hope your attitude at interviews brings out the best in you. Leave your negative points at home and bring your job skills only to your interviews. Be and present yourself as strong and confident. Good luck!!
  6. Hi there!

    I have been reading your posts on your celexa and lexapro switch.  I haven't found any up to date threads so I wonder how you are and if the lexapro helped.

  7. peachesandbrownie

    What's On Your Mind Right Now? (2)

    Unmotivated. Terrified of what's next without my medicine any longer. Tired of thinking about this depression I feel. Realizing my strength to encourage is waning. Two sons have been in the er this week both also battling depression and I no longer have the strength to be there as I am down in the dark hole with them finally. My husband is at a loss as to this chemical has run its course through each of his lived ones and he is not depressed from genetics yet becoming that way through circumstances. He is so upset that the drs wont help me get back on my meds that my psych talked me off of.
  8. peachesandbrownie

    The Devil I Know

    I am sorry. I feel your pain. It is so exhausting fighting these demons. But you must fight. Do whatever you have to. Get to the er. Call a friend. You are never alone as alone you may feel. Keep writing call out for a response here. Someone on your trail will come along and cry with you or hold you up. And walk along further with you till you feel better. Its terrible I know. If only those who treat us only knew the agony that we fight daily.
  9. Squekels if you are having SI you do need to get to the ER. I had those quite often when I was off aAD due to cold tukey and doctor tried to fix it with 75 mgs of zoloft. I felt so horrible. I feared for myself and went to er. I did eventually become an inpatient and get help. Now I too am a mess again having allowed myself to be talked into bridging from paxil (which was a godsent after years of trying others hopelessly) to prozac due to much weight gain again. Then another med mixup happened and put me in that withdrawal for one week. The result is now I can not seem to tolerate any other medicine and am presently two months into no meds and slipping into hopelessness slowly. Yesterday the doctor said no more meds and basically ruled me out as try another natural option due to my methylation genetic disorder. I had to close my business and now have no income or motivation and am glued to the computer all day. I cant function and want to get my life back but feel like I never will sometimes. I may just go to the er myself tomorrow rather than sit here all day .on paxil I never had to be so ocd about my emotional status. I was well.
  10. peachesandbrownie

    Shame

    I would write more but I have an appointment yetI wanted to reach out and say you are not a looser but a winner just by reaching out. We all have shame...me more than most know about. Keep reaching out and writing. Keep reading your responses. This will help with your focus onto something else if only for a moment.
  11. peachesandbrownie

    Ruined moments.

    Hi Stensills118: ) So I wanted to check in to see how you are feeling today. I am sorry you are feeling so badly about yourself. My first thought is to say you shoudn't..haha. But we do feel those things. Sometimes more than we want to. But you really do have a great analogy on the moments of life in your writing. Thoughtful illustrations in the mind. I myself woke and pulled the covers over my head this morning. I get so tired of life when I am not taking any medicine, and wonder why I feel that way. I have been off of them for about two months. I read your post last night. I even read it to my sister who is in the hospital very ill. Ieven just read it to my husband. We were talking about our journeys. I found it enlightening and felt your frustration-so did she. So your words 'in these moments' have been digested but not spat out. As I have chewed on them myself the word that comes to my own mind for me is 'Expectations'. That is my issue I often think. At least that is a phrase I recall one of my children telling me when they were finally an adult. I set myself up years ago with expectations and then passed those onto others when they were around me. I often say or do the wrong things. Once of my acquantances said I say things of the cuff in a joking manner but seem to be trying to say how I feel without hurting another-yet do it anyway. : ( I don't think I can accept myself for who I am; and keep trying to be more still-even though I know I can't and don't have to. It is a daily work for me. It is hard work. Now as years have passed I see how I made things so much worse by trying to fill in the dark holes of emptiness or disappointment with material things, becoming a fix it person or over commitmenting to mention a few. Then I keep stopping my medicine and loosing any sense of well being I might have because I get caught up in my physical status and not the importance of my emotiona and mental wellbeing. So today I dragged myself up and decided to make a go of it again. I have a doctors appointment too so that helps to get me motivated. Maybe I will be talkedinto my meds again.
  12. peachesandbrownie

    Newbie here

    Hello Myles! It is good that you too the step to pop in. I came on tonight to show my son who is 27 that this is a great site to plug into. He to struggles with soome of the challenges do. It is difficult as a mom who herself battles my own depression to watch him going through a newer type of anxiety and deeper depression. I hope he too reaches out to connect so he can have connections with those who understand these emotions and feelings we can not control on our own at times. Hope to hear more from you Myles.
  13. My doctor is adding fluoxotine (generic Prozac) slowly (5mg) to my 20 mg. dose of Paroxidine (generic Paxil), due to fast metabloizing of the Paroxidine. The goal is to slowly build up to Fluoxitine to 10 mg. then slowly crossover to the Fluoxotine dose needed , and eventually off of the Paroxidine. Has any one else had this switch? Did it curb the Paxil withdrawals while helping the depression and anxiety-which is why I was on the Paxil (I had tried a few other AD's that didn't help the both together)?
  14. Inside a bubble-are you still reading the posts to you? Are you doing okay?
  15. peachesandbrownie

    Hey I'm new

    K_sss I hope you are out there doing better and checking in here now and then reading some of the responses to your post. Perhaps it may seem that some of the comments made are not directly related to your original topic; but the dialogue is indirectly encompassing the human minds depression, oppression, sadness, discontentment, confusion about life; and all the frustrations that go along with these emotions. I thought I might share a bit about myself to you and how I even came to be responding to your post. I am a middle aged woman who battles with chemical-clinical depression. The day I responded I had decided that after several days of feeling such a heaviness of gloom; and wondering if my medicine had 'pooped out' that I went on line to research others' experience with it. My search led me to this site. I think I saw your title of 'being new' and thought "I'm new here too, so let's take a look at what is going on or how this person is feeling.' I began reading and thought, 'I remember those feelings when I was younger. Hmmm.. I still I have those feelings now and again-even today.' I felt a sad heaviness for you. I wondered how I had even survived all of these years without being where I am now in my belief system about myself. I smile as I write that now, because I think I am pretty special now. That is not vanity either. I had to learn how to love and appreciate myself. I realized I had survived through my own 'specialty' of being me. I am creative; and found a way around my issues before my diagnosis; and after my treatment plan. You are special too. Life and its experiences will teach you how to use your gifts even when they seem to lay dormant. In those times you will begin to see inside the true you; and learn how to embrace who you truly are. I could write more; as writing is very therapeutic for me. But I would not want to overwhelm you or others with my journey for there to here just yet. : )
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