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About Almha

  • Birthday 09/02/1991

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    Canada ONT

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  1. Feeling absolutely awful, I’m 100% convinced everyone hates my guts and wants nothing to do with me. The future is looking so bleak as well, everyday just seems to be getting worse around the world and I seriously wish someone was able to put me in a coma & let me get away from here Also, it’s been awhile since I’ve logged on & the ads now are ridiculous + invasive. I understand this site is hurting and needs some form of ‘income’, but come on. I had like 6+ ads when I hopped on here and get more upon entering each thread. Destroy my phone why don’t ya
  2. Not great but could be worse, just finished listening to a song on repeat for over 3 hours while staring at my laptop screen. There’s a dull ache in my chest however. I greatly miss my family and my old friends, the old town I used to live in along with the sense of freedom that can only be felt as a child. Wish it were easier to be ignorant to all the awfulness that happens on earth
  3. Really appreciate your response Epictetus, thank you. I agree, with all the negativity that’s broadcast on the news I should avoid watching it as much as possible. Sadly Twitter and people in general like to talk about awful life events as well, which can make it quite difficult to avoid. That makes sense with how there’s probably more positive/neutral situations happening in the world than not, or at least I’d like to imagine. Will try to have a different outlook, you make a very good point. Likewise, I hope you’re doing well
  4. I don’t need to go in-depth on everything that’s been happening over the last year and a half, everyone’s been living through it. Covid + it’s deviants are still a huge issue with no end in sight despite the vaccines. Climate change has started to really show an impact (over quite a number of years already tbh, but just seems to be more noticed recently) with the drastic heatwaves, droughts and fires. A small town in BC, Canada had 90% of their homes burned to the ground in under 2 days. How flipping crazy is that.. in such a short time those people’s lives are ruined. These are the main 2 worries (Covid & Climate Change) that have been constantly bogging me down. I’ve been doing really well at managing my depression over the last year, and honestly thought I wouldn’t be here again. But time and again, disasters striking all around pull me back to reality of how awful it is to live. Not sure if the news is just showing more devastating situations, but hearing about cranes crushing people, apartment complexes collapsing and a bloody massive unmarked gravesite of indigenous children found just is a lot to take in. It’s constant, it’s never ending.. and is getting worse. I feel like I shouldn’t be complaining either, because I’m not directly effected from these events. Even so though, how is anyone here able to keep sane?
  5. Modded my Wii so I could play some older gen games. Was really relaxing to clean up the controllers/system and to just delve into a project for a number of hours
  6. @In2deep4me Holy! Thank you so much for your in-depth advice, really appreciate it. Compromising and being able to work out with another can help a ton with keeping motivated, plus a bit of friendly competitiveness is always fun. I’m for sure going to check out prison cell routine in the morning (never heard of it before but it makes sense), can’t get a much smaller area than that! Seriously the little tidbit of a schedule you wrote is going to help so much. I’m pretty clueless with how long to go for and how best to balance rest vs workout. Thank you again!
  7. (Sorry for the double post) This is fantastic to hear about, thanks for sharing. Kudos to both of you on keeping such a strong exercise regiment going. I’ve tried just hiit alone and man was it brutal. Can’t imagine doing the other workouts that you’re doing too, good luck with it!
  8. I’m doing great, almost gained 20lbs thanks to Covid19. Really though, I’ve got to start either getting some daily exercise in or eat healthier/less given how little I’m burning each day. Any tips for someone who has little room inside their place and is keeping quarantined?
  9. For a quick short term boost to perk myself up I’d have to say tennis, cleaning or playing a game back from my childhood (although nostalgia can be a hit or a miss). Distractions & delicious endorphins more or less. To be quite honest though, my biggest positive leap was when I accepted that the ‘big bad reaper’ is coming no matter what I do - so darn simple, right? There will be fantastic days accompanied with garbage ones not far behind, take them as they are and continue marching on like a mindless ant. Realizing you can only do so much as a person, living on a small planet within a gigantic universe.. that thought in the past used to not motivate me at all, but knowing I’ve full control when I want to end this Earth game I’m in is pretty calming. It’s like a safety net, if that makes sense.
  10. My S.O. My current job (keeps me social & surprisingly happy) My upbringing (been very fortunate with so many opportunities)
  11. Thank you both, means a lot to have some support. I need to stop getting so emotionally explosive at everything and have more confidence in myself, the interview was very easy. Seriously appreciate the reassurance, you’re most definitely right 20years.. it does filter out any positive thoughts! (That’s very sweet of you btw Epictetus, such a kind soul! Likewise, you deserve to be free of any pain & be surrounded with good feels)
  12. Welcome to the forums @Jonesy, so glad that you’ve come out of your shell to make an account here. Reading about your struggles and push to overcome them was very satisfying and oddly soothing. Though, I’m very sorry to hear that your Thanksgiving wasn’t spent with anyone.. it’s always heartbreaking to hear when folks break apart from their families/loved ones. Dogs are superb companions however, and I’m sure your lab was joyous to spend not only a holiday with you, but every other day in your loving company. Wishing you the best as well, and take care! Hope to see you more around the forums.
  13. Hi all, Just a little overview of what’s happening before I go into details: I’m a Canadian about to get married & move to the USA. It’s been a long journey, and a lot of patience.. but finally the interview is here and I’m absolutely frightened. My memory is god awful (& keeps deteriorating) and no one takes me seriously, I fear I’m going to totally ruin this for both my husband and me (he won’t be there & we don’t have a lawyer). It doesn’t help at all that the last few months I’ve been having minor health issues that seem to be getting worse, and the doctors have not a clue what’s wrong.. which results in me getting booted out of their office. Close family around me aren’t believing me (docs word is final) and I feel no one’s got my back right now. I’ve been trying head over heels to straighten my life up and get a better outlook, yet time and time again I convince myself “what’s the point”. I’m not skilled at anything, I’m a bloody moron, no unique or attractive features, such a negative personality and absolutely toxic. No goals, nothing. I get so anxious about everything, yet at the same time I just don’t care. Been apart of these forums for a number of years, always coming back and repeating what I’ve said in the past. It’s not getting better, and there’s nothing that can change that. This mindset is miserable and I realize that, but it’s correct.
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