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hartmannsyoukai

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  1. Thank you. I sure hope he wouldn't, but it's hard to convince yourself that sometimes. I've been drawn back to this thread as I've recently started to develop a somewhat obsessive crush on a musician and I'm feeling exactly as you've described here. He's led this exciting, interesting successful life and I've achieved nothing. I'm nearly 30 and i have no real career to speak of, no talents or anything that would make him interested in me. I wouldn't want to meet him the way I am now purely because I wouldn't know what to say to him, and would probably go red and say nothing. Not the impression I'd really want to make on him. Listening to his music gives me butterflies, I liked his music before I fixated on him and he is very talented. I am so frustrated with myself that the only thing that has really given me a sense of living is a string of obsessions with famous strangers. That's not who I wanted to be and I would like to think i am capable of achieving something more :verysad3: I feel you. I'm anhedonic a lot and most of the time my crush is the only thing that really makes me feel any strong positive emotion or sense of interest, and I feel bad because he's REALLY accomplished and I've done nothing. It's part of the reason I think he'd be uninterested or even disgusted with me.
  2. Hello everyone. I didn't know there were so many other people who deal with this... I hope it's OK if I post here. I've had a pretty obsessive personality in general my whole life (I actually have clinical OCD, the subforum this thread was posted in. Wonder if there's a connection?), and obsessive crushes on celebrities have been a near constant in my life for as long as I can remember. They always lasted like, less than a year, though. My current crush, however, has been around for a little over 4 years now. I wouldn't really care, but, I've noticed that I get really hurt whenever I see him with his wife. I'm pretty jealous of her actually, and sort of don't like her? I feel like a creepy, horrible person. It isn't aided by the fact that I get sad when I think about how we'll never be together, and I worry that he'd hate me if we ever met (we won't, but still not a good thought)..bleh. I don't know, I rambled lol. I'm just glad I finally found some place to get this out. Thanks for reading~
  3. OCD is awful.. I hope you find peace soon and you are at least feeling somewhat better now.
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