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Lady Slothbottom

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Everything posted by Lady Slothbottom

  1. When people stand in the middle of sliding double-doors on on public transport (i.e. trains, trams, busses, etc.) and just expect everyone who's getting off to let them on first. Especially when it's rush hour. There was a time when a woman had a twin pram and tried to move me out of the way with it as she attempted to board the metro, so I climbed over whilst telling her how rude she was. I wasn't in a very good mood that day, and she took the biscuit. That's another thing; parents who think they have priority over everyone else (including people with disabilities) because they have a pram. Not necessarily because they have a baby, but because they have a pram.
  2. I just watched the feature-length doc of NOFX's Backstage Passport 2. Not quite a movie, but it's a far cry from their last TV series on Fuse. I didn't realise that Fat Mike did drugs as often as he does, and honestly, that disappointed me a fair bit. We're talking hard stuff. I lost a little bit of respect for him; for some bizarre reason I look up to the guy. Obviously he's allowed to do whatever he wants but when things were going terribly for him back at home he'd hit rock bottom and has never stopped entirely. Right now he just takes heavy stuff on tour, sort of for the sake of taking it. I still have plenty of love for the guy and for what he's done for music, but I felt pretty let down knowing he'd gladly snort something off of a toilet seat in some sketchy airport that some random kid just handed to him just because he could. I understand that for many people it's a way of escaping hardship and that it's a difficult road to leave once you're on it, but he's not an addict as he detoxes after each tour. It just feels like that he uses the tours as an excuse to get wrecked instead of play shows, although he wouldn't be in this business doing what he does unless he enjoyed it. Punk's played a large part in my recovery from anxiety and depression. Unfortunately Mike's attitude and actions left me feeling disappointed. For some reason it's the one thing out of the whole documentary that sticks out in my mind; there were riot cops and water cannons and people rushing the gates to get into shows without tickets, but that's all I could think about afterward. Eh. I'm bummed out over nothing, really, since it's his life and all. He's happy, I'm (relatively) happy, and their tours ended up being awesome despite problem after problem cropping up. Off to see Star Wars on Sunday.
  3. The Priest and Used Cars - letlive. Gonna go through the entirety of Bad Cop / Bad Cop's music shortly. They've got a gig coming up in February!
  4. I hear you loud and clear on the friendship thing; a couple of friendships broke down for me recently with people who I was very close to, and now I struggle to let myself get close to people because it's just expected that they'll ditch me without so much as a goodbye or a reason as to why. Friendship is a two-way street when it comes to the serious parts of life and how you support one another, but sometimes people simply aren't worth your time and emotion. Where was my best friend when my Mom was diagnosed with cancer? She came to me to offer some dispassionate advice and I later found out that she thought me 'clingy' for wanting to speak to her. The real person I should've given more time to had his arm around me the day I found out, doing his best to cheer me up. So that was the silver lining - a new appreciation in someone who genuinely cares. There are plenty of caring people here. Don't go looking for friendship, it'll come to you. Life will pick out the morons.
  5. What's up guys! Thank you for the super kind words. I'm majoring in illustration. It's not the best course in the world, nor the best university, but it's a degree and right now the focus is just to graduate even if not with a decent classification. Things are nowhere near as bad as they were last year. I'm actually managing to get out of bed now and then and do some work. A couple of my tutors and my mentor are happy to see that I haven't ducked out entirely, which is cool, 'cause some of them don't seem to fussed. How are you both doing?
  6. After running a second half marathon in October, I pretty much dropped exercise entirely. Since I heard my abusive cousin is back in the UK, I've barely wanted to do anything but sleep. Well, f*** that guy. He doesn't control me anymore. Time to start running again. Mom bought a spin cycle which arrived today and, once the left pedal's fixed (the thread is a mess) I can exercise at home if stuff gets too busy.
  7. A lack of motivation to do practically anything although this Citalopram's perked me up some. Going to try and come up with a daily routine that I can begin following to the letter rather than something too loose that I drop within a few days.
  8. Hi all, Some of you might remember me from a few months back. If not, I'm Jody. I have anxiety and depression and have been taking 20mg Citalopram for over a year. The emotional symptoms have lessened considerably, but the physical symptoms are still present. Right now, I've returned to university after a year-long break with help from a mentor who I meet with weekly. It'll be cool to catch up with and/or meet you all again. I'm not entirely sure why I drifted off, to be honest...
  9. You guys are the sweetest, seriously. Thank you all so much. Moods are beginning to swing a little but that's to be expected from the reduced dose, apparently. Let's hope there's no more backtracking? :)
  10. Thanks a lot, guys. Sending all o' the positive vibes your way, too. Hope you're well. Too many folks flock to the Depression Central board with tales of their woes and such. I sometimes wonder how well it might work for folks to have the Recovery board and the DC board run together as one. There'd be a bunch of traffic, though. Not every day is a pile of poops. There's always a positive hiding in there someplace. Sometimes you've gotta dig, though.
  11. CBT ended last Monday. I had my Citalopram dosage halved to 10mg today. I ticked everything off of my to-do list and more, I feel happy and - although I'm still fatigued - as though I could still do plenty more this evening. Being away from home awhile and returning to Mom's cheery face as her radio-chemotherapy side effects lift, my grandparents finally appearing more relaxed and being granted a further year of finance for study has been fantastic. As everything began to fall apart, now they seem to be on the up. Sure, that doesn't guarantee things with Mom or with University will be the same as they used to be, but it feels like I'm being given a second chance lately; that our whole family is being given a second chance. Things are on the up, and it's just as important to note these moments as it is those in which you feel completely lost in the dense fog of depression. Let's see how long this lasts. Every equilibrium is followed by conflict, followed by a resolution, followed by equilibrium, right? Or so my Media Studies tutor described. Let's see what life throws our way next. We're dealing with it pretty damn well.
  12. GPs don't exist to threaten, nor do psychiatrists. The saying 'there to help you' is - or should be - as true as it is simple. Certain parts of recovery involve helping yourself to allow others to offer their help. Your GP will likely examine you and, if you are enduring pain and vomiting during sleep, could be saving your life in doing so. You deserve to live, and ODing even in small amounts can be incredibly damaging just as being under their "care" in the past may well have been, as you described. Not all of them are out to give you a s*** time. Do your best to remember this, even if it's difficult. Trust me when I say that discussion is the first leap - it can barely be called a 'step' - in aiding recovery. Trust takes time, but these people seem as though they're offering an olive branch and are willing to hold it there for you indefinitely, for as long as necessary. Do what you can to trust them.
  13. 1AM (UK) is going to be a stretch for me, unfortunately. I've got an early start tomorrow. Sorry, all. :verysad3:
  14. I'll double check the timezone in just a mo and get back to you guys. :)
  15. My updated to-do list for yesterday: [X] Buy replacement earrings (I dropped the backs down the sink last night) [ ] Study [X] Make food [X] Paint my nails [X] Order train tickets [X] Talk to Chris' dad (I'm pretty shy around him) [X] Finish reading The Hobbit And I bought a pair of shorts. Not bad. :3
  16. 'Meh' is the only way I can really describe whatever feeling this is. That and I probably need to pee.
  17. Hey all, Sorry I haven't been around much as of late. I've been in London with the boyfriend taking a break whilst Mom recuperates from her first round of oral chemo. She's doing well - went for a jog today in fact - and now I'm looking forward to going home. I've been down here since Monday for the London taping of WWE Raw and it was phenomenal. I got to see Adrian Neville in real life for the first time and I hugged a chick sat in front of me because she, too, is a huge fan. We were screaming like banshees. Made a friend right there. I like wrestling. I really like wrestling, but wrestling is Chris' lifeblood. The issue lies with him often forgetting about things I'm interested in. I'm a big fantasy nut who likes the quiet and sometimes goes out walking to find a nook in the middle of woodland to do a bit of reading. He reluctantly watches Game of Thrones and The Hobbit/LotR movies with me if I ask, but as much as we both love video games he won't touch any of my favourite titles like Dragon Age with a barge pole. Since there's usually some effort there, I'm completely fine with him being iffy about it. But lately he's been forgetting things like appointments that I've asked him to attend with me as a chaperone, an information evening at Samaritans that I'd like him to visit with me (since the area is pretty shoddy) and other dates and events further off in the future. In fact he offered to come back to Birmingham this Sunday with me to spend the remainder of the weekend hanging out before he goes back to work. I have a doctor's appointment on Monday morning so I need to get back Sunday at the latest. He knows a bout this since I told him a couple of weeks back and have since reminded him. About ten minutes ago he called me to ask if I wanted to see an indie wrestling show on Sunday evening in London because a friend of his couldn't go. On Wednesday he went to a William Regal meet-'n'-greet without me because he forgot to get me a ticket, so I stayed home. I'm actually getting to the point where wrestling is becoming tiresome. I'm off to another indie event in an hour or so which is full of burlesque stuff and makes me feel uncomfortable because I'm so damn insecure in myself, but I almost feel obliged. Everything we do at the moment is about wrestling and nothing more. If I bring something up that excites me he often stops listening, and when I confront him he outright refuses that he was ignoring me. It's never been that much of a big deal, but the more this happens the more detached from him I feel. I appreciate and enjoy all of the things he enjoys, but he doesn't much appreciate nor enjoy any of mine, and I feel quite lonely as a result. He has other friends to share in this excitement whereas I have nobody face-to-face that enjoy the same things as myself. I'm not sure what to do, but talking isn't helping much.
  18. My to-do list for today: [ ] Buy replacement earrings (I dropped the backs down the sink last night) [ ] Study [ ] Make food [ ] Paint my nails [ ] Order train tickets [ ] Talk to Chris' dad (I'm pretty shy around him) [ ] Finish reading The Hobbit I'll update on how many of these I manage to achieve.
  19. Another warm day. Mom's embarrassed about her lack of hair so we didn't go for a walk, but I read a few chapters of The Hobbit whilst the cat lazed in my lap in the sunshine. Overall it's been pretty pleasant, but now I'm exhausted and have no idea why.
  20. Can I be totally honest? Get a new doc. Or at least on your next visit demand tat you are not okay. This happened to me. She put it down to 'stress' and sighed lengthily when suggesting medication. She even told me that 'seeing a psychiatrist won't help'. I stood outside the building afterwards and sobbed. She's an awful GP and I have no idea why she still practices with so many complaints piled up at her door. Check online for highly-rated GP practices. It's especially helpful if they have mental health professionals present, but not all of them will and not all of them necessarily need one. My GP doesn't even have MH nurses visiting, and the practice is wonderful. Depression comes in waves for me, too. It doesn't seem to be a constant for everybody. There have been points where I thought I was fine, especially during my first CBT referral where I was just handed booklets and discussed nothing of how I was coping. It was a load of BS. If you know for definite that there's a problem, don't back down on it, even if the professionals think you're kidding.
  21. Definitely, if they're the wrong people. I'm glad that you at least have your boyfriend, even if he's a couple hours away. Thanks, sweets. I hope you find someone you can trust to lean on without them doing you harm. Also, please know that we're all here for you even if we're thousands of miles away, let alone hundreds. Drop us a message if you fancy a one-to-one chat about stuff. At therapy it usually starts off as a conversation about biscuits.
  22. TheHonestGuys' videos are the reason I sleep when I'm struggling. My goodness <3
  23. Welcome to DF, Kyreem! You'll be amazed at how many of us here can empathise with your story. Many of us have been in similar situations to yourself, albeit in different amounts. What you say about not being respected in your opinions is something I totally understand. I have quite the mouth on me when it comes to debating, and usually I'm quite outspoken, but because a lot of what I think tends to go against the grain I often get shot down or ignored. It feels as though nobody cares or everyone thinks I'm a joke. Remember, though, that you're not at joke whatsoever. You have every right to speak your mind even if somebody is going to disagree. As long as you're not forceful in your observations or beliefs then nobody has a reason to treat you as though what you have to say should be discarded. There are people in this world who will respect both what you have to say and what you have to offer as a friend. Keep your guard up, but not so much that you shut everyone out. It's a difficult balance to get right. If you suspect someone is taking you for a ride then you don't need to stick around for them. They're not worth your time. Sorry if this reply is a little rambling. I'm on the phone while I'm typing and there might be random words thrown in here that are completely unrelated.
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