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Everything posted by stolenmile

  1. I met a guy. We actually talked! First real conversation in a week...
  2. Crappy day... The only positive thing I did today was fixing my internet.
  3. Thanks, Gentle sun, AllieBee! It seems like there are a lot of people with family issues here, but... I want my mother to change, to accept me and to stop criticizing me. But also I feel kind of guilt for having those thoughts. How can I say she's not supportive? She's Mom after all. One and only. She used to tell me all the time, that I must love my parents. Now, sharing my thoughts about her here seems wrong somehow... Like I am betraying her. I want her to be my support, but yesterday when I started telling her about my depression, she smiled (or grinned) and it drives me crazy! But today I think "that's my mother, and I must love her and support her".
  4. Thanks guys. I know I should get out more, but even a small conversation makes me nervous. When I went to a dancing class, everyone was a newbie there like me, but somehow they all managed to befriend each other, they talked during the breaks, made pictures and shared some personal stuff, but no matter how hard I tried to fit in, I was just saying wrong things all the time or was "a weird one". Damn, it's just so hard to meet people for me! Sometimes I am so grateful for forums like this.
  5. Mockingjay Part 1. Unlike many fans I didn't enjoy it much. Maybe because I was distracted with my thoughts.
  6. Well, my relationship with Mom is messy. She always says something like "oh, so you need me only when you're sick/desperate?" or "come on, you have a bad life? Look at me... blah-blah". So as much as I love her, showing my weakness to her is definitely just gonna make me feel worse:( You're lucky to have such a great Mom!
  7. Thank you all for the answers. It's easier to exist hoping there can be some light at the end of the tunnel.
  8. Hi, It's been a week, so you probably won't even read it, but what you're writing here is actually pretty hard to get through. Most of us deny it, but professional help can really make a difference sometimes. Besides, I think it's inspiring that you post your whole story here, something I am too scared to do. Anyway I hope you can get out of your depression and be happy. Best wishes to you!
  9. Hi everyone. Are here any people who constantly feel loneliness? I am feeling it all the time now. I got a therapist last week, but she's not the person to talk to when you're at home alone. I have no friends, just some acquaintances at university, but when we have summer holidays, no one really writes me... so when I am in desperate need of a person (like now) I go to forums (such as this), but it seems like it doesn't work. People here leave one post and are gone for good. I tried other forums (not related to depression, just about some hobbies), but people there already have friends and don't need me with my messy head. I also tried meeting new people in real life, but it takes a lot of time and effort, and I need this taking buddy like at this moment. So right now I am extremely lonely with just one wish - to talk to someone: to call, to chat, to feel alive again. So, if you have some similar problems, what do you do? Do you go to chat-rooms or to the nearest bar or call your brother/sister or just go to sleep? How can you get rid of this feeling that nobody needs you?..
  10. I have not received a hug for a long time... Months, maybe... I've read a person needs 4-5 hugs per day to stay happy... :(
  11. My mother did same things to me. I always expected love and support from her, but when everything in our family fell apart, she became cruel to me and my outdoors activities (I couldn't even go out for a movie, because she could tell me that I abandon her and that my friends/bf will never love me and accept me like she would). I was in depression because of that. Best way is to move out. I couldn't do it for several reasons, but I hope you can. And never think like you are nothing. You are a beautiful and a strong person, so don't believe everything your Mom says. She may never change (there is such a possibility, unfortunately), but that is not your problem. Find hobbies, maybe they will show you what you can be in your life. Start a crappy job, just to be out of your four walls, be around real people and try to enjoy every moment of your life. Best wishes!
  12. That's not crazy at all. My Mom's the same age as you. She has been saying for almost 10 years that she is too old to attract a man, and I think she will never find him if she got used to think like that... You are very lucky to have hope, so don't loose it! People meet each other in different places, at different age. I wish you to find your happiness
  13. Hi, welcome to df! I think people share their stories here (in details) if they are not sure about coming back to the forum. Most detailed stories are written in the themed topics. Hope you have a great day!
  14. Welcome to df! I hope you can find people here with the same problems to talk to. Best wishes!
  15. You had a very difficult life. But I hope you won't give up, because maybe (just maybe) this dark cloud will disappear. I know, it may sound naive, but sometimes hope can do great things. Please, don't give up. Best wishes to you!
  16. Hi, I am certainly new here, but sharing and talking to someone really helps (even if you first think it's stupid) I hope you can find all the support you need here. Best wishes
  17. It does help, if you're open to it. I had my first visit to a therapist yesterday, and I was very sceptical about it, but letting all your deep thoughts out actually makes it easier to understand yourself. Maybe it won't help in the beginning, but it surely won't hurt you.
  18. I went to a therapist. First time. It took me long hours to get dressed, to embrace myself and finally to step out of the house, but once I did, it felt much better.
  19. Thanks. I know it's just a couple of words, but it really means a lot for me!
  20. Hi everyone, I have one simple question that really bothers me. I hope someone could answer it... I know I might sound stupid or naive or both, but... safe place, right? So, considering you do get some help (idk, people, doctors, meds), do you really get out of depression? I mean, fully? Or is it something you fight every day? Sometimes people around me say that even if I get better, I will always be on that edge, always ready to fall down into this dark place again. Are here any people who left their depression behind once and for all?
  21. If you live in a boring town and have some free time, then maybe you need to get out of there once in a while... Sometimes I feel exactly like you do - I have studies four days a week, and other days I am just sitting at home, no friends, troubled family, no reason to get up in the mornings. I even don't have the energy to go meet new people, because it requires smiling, laughing etc, and I just can't be positive and happy and reckless. What helps me is travelling, even to a city nearby. Sometimes you get bored of the surroundings and same people and maybe in your case some fresh air will help.
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