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Everything posted by womanofthelight

  1. Oh . . . the way I feel most of the time . . . like I wish I was dead.
  2. I feel like I shouldn't have chugged that bottle of diet A&W root beer. Aspartame gives me migraines and tinnitus, so I'd better go to bed before the s h i t hits the fan.
  3. This is a terrible idea. You're both needy right now; yours is sexual, his is emotional. It sounds as if you know what you want, and it doesn't seem to be compatible with what this guy wants. Your instinct is telling you to maintain boundaries. So do that. Listen to that voice inside you that says "no," or at best, "not now." When I was in high school, I had a teacher who had a very helpful approach to making a difficult decision. She said that If ANY part of you says "no," then "no" is the best answer. That advice has been proven to me to be correct. When I got into a relationship with the last man I was involved with, I was emotionally needy and physically h o r n y, and I ignored that doubting voice. I should have listened. My best wishes to you, whatever you decide.
  4. Hi! I've been seeing a great therapist (since Covid-19 we've been doing phone appointments) who recently said the same thing to me. He posed it as a question, of course. Something like, "Would it be so bad if you just accepted this as part of who you are?" I gave it a great deal of thought, and though that thought doesn't help when I'm particularly anxious or weepy, in the scheme of things, it makes sense. For me. I've been depressed since early childhood, and my hoping to get over the next hill like a jolly rancher (!) is putting to much pressure on myself for results. And I'm a result-oriented person. Process is therefore painful for me, but as I age, I see that life has always been a process and my wanting everything resolved according to my expectation has added to the difficulty I have in this life. This world. This . . . whatever. Anyway, nice to meet you. WOTL
  5. Like throwing all my belongings out the window; like they're just encumbrances.
  6. Discussions of this nature are prohibited on this site, and we've been fortunate thus far in that we have not been shut down or penalized. Once again, I invite you to continue this with me in private.
  7. CNN ) MSNBC FoxNews Myfox8.com Officer.com USA Today abc.go.com. I think it best to carry on this discussion through PM. I will reply within the hour.
  8. "Misdeeds of our forefathers?" "Our forefathers" didn't stand on a black man's neck until he died, while 3 other white cops looked on. "Our forefathers" didn't k. i. l. l. a black man, as though he were a hunted animal because he was out for a jog. “Our forefathers” didn’t try to get a black man arrested in Central Park just because he told a white woman she was in the Bird Watching section of the park and should leash her dog. She pulled a tool from her racist tool box and called 911, saying a black man was filming her and threatening her, and the police should come immediately. And WHY did she think this would work? Because of everything she’s seen recently in the news, by the grace of updated technology. By grace of that same technology, her ploy backfired and she was fired from her job and temporarily surrendered her dog. These instances are merely an update of what was formerly called “lynching.” (or in this case, attempted lynching) You think you’ve heard it all before, but that stance is indicative not only of naivete, but blindness and ignorance; history is always told by the conquerors. Only in recent years has history also been taught to include a perspective of the defeated and their insistence upon establishing their value—not just in theory—in a culture which heretofore (and really, ongoing) has been content to ignore and/or m.u.r.d.e.r. them. The indigenous peoples of this country have even gone so far as to withdraw from this culture altogether (much to their detriment, by the way) on land “given” to them by the race of greater numbers. YES, tribes and races around the world have been k.i.l.l.i.n.g. each other for centuries; EVERY country has a violent origin story. But the crime of m.u.r.d.e.r. in these countries, apart from the Holocaust, has not been held to the same standard as the US simply because the US established itself as the big kid on the block centuries ago by rebellion against Britain, m.u.r.d.e.r.i.n.g tribes of native peoples and calling it “manifest destiny,” “independence” and “civilizing” a nation. Added to this façade of civilization, an American president abolished slavery in his own country, which, by the way, was not born of humanitarianism, but economic necessity. The authors of the Declaration of Independence, by writing “all men are created equal,” were by no means talking about brown people, black people, or women. My intention in this reply has not been to accuse you, or to teach you a lesson. I’m just saying that, as in all things, we must turn the kaleidoscope even by one move just to broaden our perspective and see the world from another relevant and important point of view. The scary part is that, not only in this matter but in all others, humanity seems bent on self-destruction. “A great civilization is not conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within.” Ariel Durant
  9. Have you ever seen Broad City or Better Things? Comedy Central and FX are very stingy with their on demand function, but maybe Hulu or some other platform has them, if you're interested. Glad you're enjoying Kominsky. I like it, too.
  10. The Dirty Dozen!!!!!! Lee Marvin Charles Bronson Jim Brown John Cassavettes Donald Sutherland Telly Savalas . . . just to name a few. Gods! They were so young. They're in the castle of the Evil Nazis! (I have felt the German language calling me all of my life. Probably a past life thing. But I think I'll attempt to learn a bit.)
  11. Are you taking an antidepressant now? SSRI or MAOI? I know nothing of MAOI's but I've been on just about every antidepressant known to man. SSRI's killed my libido. So I asked to be put on Wellbutrin (I'd been on that many years ago and was switched to Paxil. I don't remember why.). Anyway, Wellbutrin works on the dopamine in your brain, and though doctors will say they don't know why dopamine affects libido, or how Wellbutrin affects libido, it REALLY REALLY kicked my mine back into gear. Every body is different. But it has had this result in a majority of cases of depression. I'm very happy with where my libido is today, even though I have NOT ONE TO SHARE IT WITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyway, search it online and read about it. Maybe it's for you.
  12. Feeling like I want to die. Praying I die in my sleep. Like I'll never have the things I've wanted, worked for and didn't get. There is no way out of the darkness
  13. "Dreaming My Dreams with You" - Cowboy Junkies: The Trinity Session
  14. "Dawn" - Jean-Ives Thibaudet (from his score of Pride and Prejudice)
  15. I agree wholeheartedly with Tid322, on all points!
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