carukia

It's better to burn out than to fade away - Neil Young

Numb and like a zombie.

I remember Dinnerladies, it was great (RIP Victoria Wood) and, yes, I like her politics too. When it was first revealed what was going to happen in National Anthem, I thought it'd be played for laughs but the way it's portrayed is absolutely horrifying. I'm not afraid to admit it made me feel as sick as a pig.

Yes, I think it was called San Junipero. It was beautiful. I was expecting something heartbreaking to happen but, strangely for Black Mirror, it turned out to have a happy ending. I've never seen Inside No. 9 but I'll have to watch it.

I liked that one too and I was pleasantly surprised to see Maxine Peake in it. She's such a talented actress. I've been rewatching the earlier series too. Yesterday I saw White Bear and The Entire History of You. Both very chilling. I'm trying to find the courage to watch the very first episode, National Anthem, again. That one really freaked me out.

Absolutely exhausted but otherwise not too bad.

There have been many times where someone has asked me "What's wrong, you look really unhappy", when I felt absolutely fine. I don't know what causes this. Maybe unconscious stress is making the facial muscles tense, producing a pained expression like the one in the picture.

Have you seen the latest series?

I'm on amitriptyline too. 30mg per night. Without it I'm awake until about 3 or 4 in the morning.

I've actually had a pretty good day today, so I feel OK. I'm meeting up with my ex-girlfriend tomorrow and then going to her place on Tuesday night for dinner. I don't mean to be pessimistic but no doubt something has to come along and hit me right between the eyes.

Black Mirror

Toast

Well, I've managed to get out of the house today and go food shopping. I didn't think I would, but I've managed to find the motivation from somewhere.

I'm finding it really hard not to burst into tears.

Me too. It's horrible, isn't it.