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Posts posted by Jules19

  1. SailingSoul,

    It sounds like the main issue isn't necessarily your cheating but the fact that you feel unworthy and insecure. You need to find out the root cause of this and try to improve it.

    I struggle with insecurity, too. It used to be much worse for me, and I would often say really bad things about myself to my partner like "I'm worthless" and how he "deserves so much better than me." But then I decided to stop saying these negative thoughts out loud to him, and it actually helped make these thoughts weaken. The more you say negative things out loud, the stronger these thoughts will get, at least it did for me.

    Your boyfriend obviously loves you very much if he truly forgave you and is talking about marriage. Are you still feeling guilty about the cheating because you fear it might happen again?

    I hope you're able to move past this. If the cheating was a one time thing, it was just a really bad mistake, but it doesn't make you a horrible person. However if the cheating has been a pattern for you in previous relationships as well, you need to figure out why you keep doing this so you don't continue hurting other people and yourself.

  2. Hi, Zarztok!

    I can relate to your situation. I have dealt with mental health issues for many years, and I believed that it wouldn't get better. Some days I still struggle, but most days I am able to overcome it. I have learned healthier ways to cope with my depression and anxiety, so there is some hope.

    I'm sure you know how much you mean to your puppy. Our pets rely on us and we're their world. She would be devastated if you were gone. I have a dog too, and I think it's great you got a pet. They motivate us to keep going.

    I'm glad you joined the site, and hope you find it helpful! If you have any questions or just want to chat, feel free to message anytime!


  3. Hello, HoloTheWiseWolf

    Welcome to DF! I'm sorry you are struggling so much at the moment. I can relate to your situation in many ways. I didn't get a driver's license until my early twenties, and at one point had to walk most places in an area where you really need a car since my household couldn't afford to buy even a cheap, used car. I wasn't pushing myself to work very hard, and didn't have anyone to talk to.

    Joining this site did help me with that. It felt good to chat with people, even though it was just online. I hope that this helps you as well.

    I have also struggled with self harm for many years, but for the past few have been able to resist it. Now I have a partner that I talk to everyday, and I am working more consistently. It took many years to get to this point, but I am happier even though things aren't perfect. So there is hope and ways to overcome things.

    If you want to talk or have any questions about the site, feel free to message me anytime! :hugs:

  4. Hey, Alex!

    I can relate to what you are going through. When I was around your age I struggled with addictions, depression, and suicidal thoughts as well. Now in my 20s I have learned how to deal with my emotions better. I no longer have to rely on substances to feel like I can function, and I have dropped many other bad habits. So it is possible to get better.

    I'm really sorry your family & friends aren't supportive, but it's really great that you decided to post here. Many people are willing to listen & give good advice, so I hope that you keep posting.

    Feel free to message me if you want to talk!

  5. It's hard to give a general answer about what the purpose of life is since it is different from person to person, but I think one really motivating purpose for me is to bring something positive to others, like friends or even just people online.

    How's the online dating going so far? Sounds like you are enjoying it.


  6. Staying as healthy and as busy as possible helps me. For my health I try to drink lots of water, avoid drinking too much coffee or booze, and walk around my house & outside a lot. I stay busy by reading, watching youtube videos, drawing, and writing. So having hobbies is really important and helpful to me. Since I have some days when I have no energy I try to do as much as I possibly can while also not being too hard on myself if I don't.

  7. My advice is simple: just do it.

    I find that when I'm thinking about all of the things that I have to do in the day, I become less & less motivated to actually do them.

    I cannot think too long & hard about simple tasks.

    Also, take one thing at a time. Don't just rush into doing everything, you will feel burnout. One day comb your hair. Then the next, comb your hair & wash your face. Keep adding on tasks at a pace you find manageable.

    Soon it will simply become routine.

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