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silverdawn

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  1. Okay, first off i know my Husband is a good man and he does a lot for me, but he is sarcastic with me. For instance today we went to get a Christmas tree together and there was a machine that violently wrapped the tree so we could get it in the car, and then he said something along the lines of "wouldn't you like to go through that? He said this in front of people and it made me hurt/feel really small and embarrassed in front of people. He says these sarcastic things in a while, it rarely happens in public, but when it does it hurts me a lot. I talked to him about it, and he said that it's the intention that's important. It's obviously something that he doesn't want to happen to me and I know it, it just hurts me a lot. I talked to him about it and I wish he apologized to me.Other than that we cook together, laugh together, and I care deeply for him.
  2. Hi Stevenn, I've been on prozac since 21 and I am now in my thirties. When I first started taking it, during a hospitalization for depression, it really did get me out of a bad place, but since I've taken it for about 14 years, I can't really say what it does now. I figure my body is so used to this med that my liver enzymes break it down and I'm probably only getting about 5mg. I can understand that you don't want to be on it. I would definitely work with a doctor or set up a tapering schedule. I am taking 20 mg and am planning to get to 10 mg at the end of the year, but I am going to go super slow. Maybe even go to 15 before attempting 10. I do know that going from 30 to 20 did affect me, but I am super sensitive and it might not be that way for you. Everyone is different, but I think just taking a quick note everyday about the dosage you take and how you feel may offer insight in your tapering schedule. Be safe and best of luck to you!
  3. I miss those warm summer days walking in the soft sand of arroyos, picking up obsidian, spotting blue birds, and then watching the purple sunset fade away.
  4. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  5. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  6. I hope you have a fantastic day :)

  7. Hi all, good topic I think my depression and anxiety starts off from way back when i was developing in my mother. Father emotionally abused my mom during pregnancy and after pregnancy so I probably picked up what she was feeling. Then my dad tried ******* my mom when I was around two and i kind of witnessed it. My dad was a total nut case at the time. We lived in an isolated area and he would leave the house at night to go shoot at animals and any lights he saw. We also lived in a haunted house at the time, that is what they told me. Really weird things would happen that they couldn't explain. Wild dogs would show up at the door of the house and make growling noises. It wasn't a fun time. My mom would have nightmares and wake up with unaccountable scratches. Anyways my mom tried to divorce him after he tried ******* her., but he cried at the hearing and said he would change his ways. They also moved out of the house and life improved a bit for everyone in the household. He only hit her a a couple of times after that, but emotionlly abused my mother, myself, and brother over the years. I really feared my dad while I was growing up and never realized how dysfunctional at times my family was until I took a Family Psychology course in college.My mom never divorced him and is still with my dad today. I think my parents feel a little guilty about the events that happened over the years. I've been diagnosed as having bipolar 2. So they have paid for my education in hopes that I will have a better life. I am soon to get my bachelors and very proud of the progress I've made over these tough times. I love my dad and mom(my dad had a severely traumatic childhood, and I feel that he genuinely tried as best as he could to help raise my brother and I. I think we all suffered together and managed to get through the bad times. But I am paying today for these bad times today. I think I am.Will my bipolar ever go away? Probably not. But now that I am away from the home environment, my illness and social skills have improved and I am thankful for living with my boyfriend. He has supported me a lot through hard times. Does environment and genetics play a part. I think it does, my brother is more calm like my mom and has never had to take medication. He is very successful and is about finished with his Phd at the age of 24. I am a year older than him. He has always been social and being around friends has helped him cope. I on the other hand isolated myself growing up. Females tend to isolate themselves while growing up in a dysfunctional household, while males get in fights and my brother was aggressive in elementary. For a while he was constantly getting in fights. But enough about the past, I know people have had it worse than me and I am probably actually lucky compared to other people. So I am doing the best I can and taking it day by day. I honestly feel that the past has made me stronger. Best wishes to all, silverdawn
  8. Thank you guys for all your wisdom and insight, You guys are totally right that relying solely on meds is not going to help me with depression/ocd issues. I stopped seeing a counselor because i felt that she wasn't helping me, i wanted to ask her what is exactly causing my depression and i feel like she can't give me any good answers? i see a counselor at a college i attend and i want them to tell me what caused my depression and anxiety. would talk with her about my family and i think my family caused me to have depression/anxiety. My mom would honestly tell me when i was growing up that she never experienced any anxiety until she met my dad. Growing up my dad was never happy(he was severely abused as a child) and although he never really abused my brother and i, i feel like maybe seeing my father unhappy alot of the time affected me. Nothing positive ever really came out of his mouth, so maybe yeah that could have affected me. He never hit us, but he was abusive when he would discipline us. I used to wish in my teens that my dad would just go away,(like die on an airplane when he was traveling for work) but a big part of me loved him and still loves him .But i don't get why i would be affected because my brother is so successful compared to me and he has never taken any meds for depression or anxiety and we basically lived in the same household together. But anyways hope65 you give me hope because you were able to get down to 10mg of prozac, that is a big accomplishment! So I really feel that it is possible with the slow taper route. I live with my boyfriend his two cats and my dog and i can honestly say that i am much happier in my living situation compared to when i last lived with my parents which was at the age of 22. thank you guys for replying and i really do hope the best for all of you.
  9. I need to be real and share my fears. I have been on antidepressants for 10 and a half years. I am only 25. I am scared of what prozac is doing to my brain. Tried effexor 75mg but i'm not good at taking it at the same time so I missed dosages and would get these massive headaches. like if i would take it every other day instead of every day.I'm afraid really afraid, i was able to get off effexor, but the side effects were so scary. after three days of reducing the doseage to 37.5 i had this scary experience of depersonalization. almost like i didn't exist and everything lights, noises was amplified, i was mentally exhaused and could not get any D*** sleep.plus i had to celebrate thanksgiving feeling so s***ty. aah, i love the holidays when you feel like crap . cried in public and felt so ashamed. i was right out in the public view surrounded by traffic and some people looked at me from their cars. why can't i get off antidepressants. i feel so ashamed and feel like i have no future. i hear horror stories of people who become brain damaged after years of ssri use. i hate pharmaceutical companies and feel like i have no control over my life when i have to take medication. i feel like i am being prostituted and giving my money away to my pimp, the pharmaceutical company. my emotions are so flat, i used to have more emotion but i feel like i have become numb. i have a hard time crying, but it sure was easy to cry getting off effexor, (but really not so much a pleasant crying session.)the only reason i am alive is because i have family and close people around me that believe in me.
  10. Hi, I just would like to say that I recently was given generic lamictal by the pharmacist instead of brand. I thought that there would be no difference, but i sure was wrong. I've been having some really bad insomnia.The last week I have been only able to manage 1 and a half hours of sleep per night. I ended missing a couple of college classes because I just could not drive to class or even think. I do believe there is a difference between generic and brand and it might not affect everyone, but is sure affected me. silverdawn
  11. Hi, I am curious to know whether birth control worsens bipolar or negatively affects a bipolar woman in particular? I have read up on different types of birth control and thought that the best bet for a woman with bipolar would be to take a low dose monophasic type oral contraceptive since this type of birth control seems to not interfere with your hormones that much. I would appreciate any advice on this matter or any insight from women who have diagnosed mood disorders and have taken or are taking some kind of birth control. Thank you, silverdawn
  12. Hey y'all. I am curious about the number of people who have mood disorders and allergies. I've never taken allergy medication consistently, but my mom who tried some allergy medication noticed that she could think clearer and even her depression went away. She even now says that all those years of her life without treatment seem kind of wasted. Now that her life has improved I kind of want to receive treatment for my allergies. It has brought my hopes up.
  13. Hi. I was researching atypical antipsychotics tonight and I came across a caution that the newer antipsychotics might be possibly linked to obesity, heart disease, diabetes, and increased cholesterol. I found this warning at remedyfind.com: (NOTE: A joint panel of the American Diabetes Association, American Psychiatric Association, American Association of Clinical Endocrinologists, and the North American Association for the Study of Obesity has issued a consensus statement advising that patients taking atypical antipsychotics may be at increased risk for obesity, diabetes, high cholesterol, and heart disease. The panel recommends that doctors screen and monitor their patients on atypical antipsychotics for: 1) personal and family history of obesity diabetes, high cholesterol, hypertension, or cardiovascular disease; 2) weight and height; 3) waist circumference; 4) blood pressure; 5) fasting blood glucose; 6) fasting blood cholesterol.) What are your opinions about this isssue?
  14. I am almost to lose my mind since I started Prozac.
  15. Angelwithin, I didn't stay on depakote to long, but it made me depressed. I don't remember really crying I just felt flat and bad about myself. kalley, thanks for congratulating me on the success of lamictal. I really like this drug. It has helped with the state of being to aware that it messes with your emotions. Thank You Lamictal! Finally I have some relief after 9 years of obsession and depression.
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