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Everything posted by Hazzy

  1. @IMS, thank you for the reply. Depression can definitely feel like a black hole, and entity that tries to swallow you. I'm glad you had someone to help get you out of the rough time.
  2. I've gone 2 days without showering.I know this may sound gross to some, but when depression hits me hard, I don't shower every single day. Sometimes getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do. I hope I'm not the only on who deals with this.
  3. Well I can say the first part of your post sounds I wrote it. The part about career, school, and health problems. I did graduate a two program in college, but it hasn't resulted in a job in that field though, and it cost money to keep the credential I've earned. I did fill out my Fafsa this year, but I have no clue what I want to go to school for. And I've had a couple major health setbacks in the past month. About your family moving in, do you feel like there is a way you can set boundaries so you don't feel so trapped in your own home? If not, then maybe your safe space could be somewhere out of the house? I've experienced suicidal thoughts before and it was terrifying. If it gets worse, please call your local crisis line, that has saved my life in the past. Hang in there, things will get better, it just doesn't feel like it right now.
  4. Welcome to the forum Gomezaddams1951. I think you will find this helpful, there are lot's of topics and people here. It has helped me, and I have depression and panic disorder.
  5. It sounds like you have gone above and beyond to repair family relationships from the past because you want a healthy loving family. It's disheartening when no one takes notice of your thoughtfulness. I've had similar experiences with family, but over time I've learned I'm not responsible for their happiness or any old grudges they may hold. That's good that you were going to talk groups, is there anyway you can start doing that again? I know the feeling of wanting to stay inside and not deal with people or the world, but getting out of the house really does help. Hang in there :)
  6. I feel tired, exhausted, lonely, and craving some sort of human touch. For example, a hug, or someone to brush my hair, or a lap to lay in. Sounds silly I know, but that is how I feel.
  7. On 'good nights' I would say midnight or 1am, ( I have to be up at 7:30am) However, on the 'bad' nights it can be as late as 2:30 or 3am.
  8. Thank you for responding Zanmorian, I am stressed right now, and at first I was thinking maybe it's that, but this has persisted for a a few days :( I do have an appointment scheduled with the doctor, and she said it could possibly be a dye in the pill levothyroxine that I'm taking for my thyroid. I do take hydroxyzine for the itching, but I really hope this clears up soon. It's encouraging to know I'm not the only one who has been through this.
  9. Has anyone experienced sudden and or frequent itchy/needles on the skin feeling on their body? I'm having this experience and having a really hard time with it. It started a couple days ago with intense itchy and now feels like needles poking me all over. I've changed, soaps, detergents, ect. and nothing seems to work. I take hydroxyzine and that helps for a while but then it comes back. I don't know if I'm possibly allergic to my thyroid medication ( the new pill I'm taking is blue so maybe it's the dye) or if this is due to depression and or anxiety? Anyone else have this experience? Any advice will help thank you!
  10. Yes it does, and I use that too lol. But for me, it's the lesser of the bad behaviors.
  11. I've been prescribed something called Hydroxyzine of Atrax, it's an antihistamine, but it does help my anxiety and does help me sleep when I take higher doses. It's not addicting, and you can take high doses, maybe you can ask your provider for something like that. One time I had to take a pill everyday for a week because things were so stressful and the anxiety was so bad. Hope this information helps. Hang in there.
  12. I know this was posted a while ago, and I do hope you're feeling better now. I can identify with a few things you say; I've never heard voices either, but was afraid I might, and I've questioned reality while knowing things were real. I would look up what Teddy545 suggested as its very common, and you're not alone in what you're experiencing. Hang in there :)
  13. Honestly, I was hoping the eclipse would 'get stuck,' and leave us in darkness for a day or two. Just to see what would happen to society, and see what kind of anarchy would break out. But, alas, it came and went.
  14. There can be peace in solitude. I understand that.
  15. Ha ha I like that! Sometimes I go through so much, and feel so out of place, I figure I MUST be from somewhere else.
  16. I've found that part of my depression is having 'end-of-the-world' fantasies. I'm not suicidal, and this is not suicidal ideation. I just want the world to end sometimes, or rather, I want the mass chaos that would ensue before the world ends. I'm semi hoping for this tomorrow when we have the eclipse. (I'm from the states) Does anyone else have any end time/apocalypse fantasies?
  17. I'd say I was so consumed with anime to even realize that I was depressed. This is when I was kid without adult responsibilities. And when I got older the depression got worse.
  18. Hello and welcome to the forum. I'm currently on Citalopram as well (generic for Calexa). Things sound really tough right now, but I think it's great that you used to quilt! I can understand where everyday tasks feel like a chore. On some days showering for me is a lot of effort. Hang in there and I hope this forum helps :)
  19. I did several loads of laundry and 'started' meal prep for the week lol.
  20. Hi Gerri and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry to hear about all the painful experiences on social media. I think it goes without saying that the internet can be rough. I hope this forum will be a place of support for you, everyone needs and deserves support :)
  21. It was so interesting to see this post because last night while I was going for a drive I asked myself that, and the thought was jarring. Almost made me wonder if it was my own thought if that makes sense. At the time I didn't have a good answer, and I couldn't think of anything other than the wish that I wasn't depressed. Now when I read this post though, it reminds me of what has come up a lot in therapy-childhood trauma. That and missed opportunities, broken relationships, and low self esteem.
  22. Hey Steeda, sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. As someone else mentioned, I wonder if the stress of having a child could possibly be a trigger. That's good that Lexapro has worked for you for so long, but maybe it's just not working anymore? I'm facing some similar symptoms with Citalopram. Have you asked your doc for anything to help the anxiety such as Ativan/Hydroxyzine? That's what I take. Hang in there.
  23. Hi B and welcome to the forum, I hope you find the support here you need.
  24. I think your feelings are valid. It's upsetting when someone has strong feelings about something/someone and those feelings are ignored, not seen or understood. You said your wife is not sentimental, but does that mean you can't talk to her about how upset you are? Will she listen or will she brush you off? It may be worth a try, but with the mindset of knowing you may get a less than desired response. Congrats on being married 20 years by the way. Hang in there PsychoCandy.
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