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About kirkwuk

  • Birthday 06/02/1982

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    Music. Travelling. Internet. Playing guitar. TV. Books. Online gaming. Spotify.

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  1. Happy New Year everyone! I am on Clomipramine 25mg/d and the med has had supply issues since October in the UK. I have tried pharmacies and none of them have ANY of the drug whatsoever. There is ZERO visibility of when the meds are going to be in from the suppliers. I can’t find pharmacies with a smaller strength. I have even lowered the dose to make up for the shortage which is NOT GOOD for my health. I am in danger of running out big time if they are not in by March. What to do? I do not want to switch meds but the tension of how long they will be out is making me more anxious!
  2. Hi there, To cut a long story short, I am a 36 years old "for lifer" with a history of OCD, severe anxiety and depression. My doctor believes I need meds for life, as have been doing incredibly well on them, and went crazy last time I was off meds. I was not able to hold a job, or even sleep. Through exercise, a healthy diet, I'm on 50mg of Clompiramine (less than therapeutic dose). I'm even considering going down to one 25mg pill. I barely ever get anxious any more, depression is millions of miles away - and I am optimistic about the future. But my doctor tells me at 40 y/o he wants to put me on an SSRI, due to tricyclic antidepressants "not being good for the heart" - and this really concerns me. I have four years to prepare, and really pray to god I keep on track. SSRI's really messed me up last time I tried them, with my anxiety getting so high my nerves felt they were being pinched 24/7 on around three different medications of the class. Has anyone else been in the same position as me? How did you look at it? I understand I have 35% higher chance of a heart attack or stroke if I stay on tricylics. But they really have changed my life for the better, I feel the really hard times have fully gone from my life. I wonder how earlier I will die, and what my kids would think if I stayed on them to leave them early. I have not been here for around seven years, my story and hard times are documented here. My life has really changed since then. Before I could not even get out of bed and at threat of losing everything. I've now lived abroad, got married, travelled the world, everything has changed! https://www.nhs.uk/news/mental-health/do-antidepressants-raise-heart-risk/
  3. Just came back to give you an update which I hope will help others considering this. Anyway I'm on 100mg after over four weeks and I can honestly say this med has changed how I look on meds and that there can be something which works with very little effort. I feel like a different person, I can actually talk to people and enjoy it! I have cross-tapered and am now after seven years completely off Amitriptyline! I have to do a blood test on Friday which will hopefully confirm everything is OK with no liver toxicity etc. My anxiety is still there which is fine, but I no longer consider it debilitating and I can actually live a sub-normal life without struggles every five minutes of my life!
  4. Was doing well the first three days, now on 50mg and now getting disturbed sleep, you know the drill - wake up at 3/4am and can't get back to sleep before you have to get up for work. I'm probably just getting anxious about it too much, but done well in the day. Hopefully it will go away. Went to the gym tonight and hope I am sedated enough to get a bit more shut-eye.
  5. You gave up after two days... the side effects wear off over time for most people. I had the same for the first two weeks and found Amit was one of the best meds I've been on, after a couple of months I had zero side effects.
  6. Finally started 25mg after my treatment team advised me to cross-taper this med with Amitriptyline 75mg until I am off (been on Amit since Dec 2007). This is the first time I have ever slept after taking an AD on the first day, which is encouraging, but will still take it one day at a time. I don't have any side effects only anorgasmia which I hope will die in time, but trying not to think about it too much and had this with other meds too. Also I notice my anxiety is slightly better and I do feel a lot more in high spirits, but I imagine that is mainly due to finding I slept great on the first day.
  7. Just been put on this med. I hear a lot of good things about it. I have been on Amitriptyline for the last seven years and this is the first time I will cross-taper on a med. I am very scared as am under a lot of pressure at work but been given enough support by the hospital to make a smooth transition. I really hope this can pull me out of this hole.
  8. If it is still working great after eight years I'd like to think it will be forever, many though do become tolerant and cross-tapering may be required for "lifers".
  9. This medicine made me feel great for a few hours the first day but within three days I got what I can only describe as major hypertension, felt like my nerves were being ground down with a dull blade of a knife. I was so desperate for the med to work I somehow managed up to six days before quitting as it was that bad, most of that was spent in the bath trying to ride out the pain and pure misery. I don't recommend anyone not try it as everyone responds differently, but for me it was the worst med experience which nearly ended my trial of trying to find a med which would actually turn my life round.
  10. Hi all, I was a recovering moderate/high depression/anxiety sufferer from years 2008-2013. My OCD can get out of control at different times. Over the years I went from having my job saved from coming off meds in 2007/8 but held on until this very day with the help of Elavil. I actually became so strong I managed to become a team leader in a leading sports company. I also met my future partner here. In 2013 I was made redundant and our jobs moved from the UK to Netherlands and we had to move our lives just to keep working in our jobs. It is a company I hold dear but things have changed... Skip to today and my situation is bleak. I am suffering at work with depression, I have a boss who I feel humiliates me every day because the work is so intense that I make mistakes. She also does not treat me like a boss in my opinion and has told me "you are just another number". She knows I suffer anxiety and depression but of course "you should change your behaviour". I am scared I am being set up to lose my job. My partner who has never dealt with depression before is not sure what to do, she likes her role here and I am frustrated that I don't seem to feel the same way. Every day I am just so overcome with anxiety and "what if's", crying like a lunatic at all times, anxious to the point of quivering, losing sleep, dry-heaving and just basically do not want to go in work. I try to do exercise with what little energy I have left as this helps but it seems that it does not cure everything. I have upped my dosage of Amitriptyline but it appears after seven years I am tolerant to it and does not make any improvement, I am taking Oxazepam nearly every day to stop the anxiety attacks. I am hoping for a miracle but would appreciate any advice you guys can offer. I feel like there is so much at stake particarily my partner and I do not want to find another job here as I do not know the language. The job pays so well but I feel I am being tortured every day mentally. Regards, Kirk
  11. Don't do it as you will regret it later. Try to find some medication solution for the mean time.
  12. Hi Fizzle, I have had numerous checks over the years and all came back that physically I am absolutely fine, the last one my heart was in great shape as well so I am pretty sure this is all anxiety based but don't know how to approach it without relying on more meds, which I don't really want to do.
  13. OCD Moderate/high depression Anxiety I have been on Citalopram and Amitrtipyline medicine for the last ten years since I was 22 years of age. I am cleared of OCD symptoms but mainly get high anxiety nowadays (my job relocated abroad and this was a tremendously tough period). I have a history of physical anxiety symptoms including neck/muscle twitching - at first this was as simple as getting a "lazy eye" but later developed into one side of my body feeling weak.
  14. Hi all, Anyone else had an issue where anxiety seems to increase after exercise? I felt the gym really helped me two years ago, but nowadays I just don't bother. My routine hasn't changed, I started going quite intense on myself and getting good results from both running and weight training. In 2013/14 when I leave the gym and actually try to relax, I get horrible confusion, followed by physical anxiety symptoms like muscle tightness and hot hands - my heart is racing. This can go off by the next morning but has lasted days sometimes. I have tried to try less exercise, but I don't enjoy it and don't feel I get any of the "high" a proper workout gives. It is a horrible conclusion to one of the things which should be able to combat depression and anxiety. My doctor said it could be a side-effect of the med but I have been on it a long time and it didn't used to cause this. Please can someone help?
  15. Hi all, This is one of the things I've been thinking about recently. I've been on antidepressants for some years now and they're not as effective as they once were. I am convinced that they make life a lot easier to live, but it's also the hassle of finding meds which work right again, going through the horrible start-up period of side effects, risking losing my job and then stabilising only to find they don't work as well and you have to begin from square one. How do you cope with this? I keep telling my girlfriend I'm going back on the meds as I've been struggling recently. She isn't a big fan and I understand that it's better to be off the meds. Has anyone here accepted the compromise of just keeping yourself busy to deal with the depression and stayed off the meds despite the fact you know they're of great benefit?
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