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About CallaLily

  • Birthday 05/08/1984

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  1. I like this post! One of the guys I work with married his wife after 6 weeks of dating, and they're still married after many years. So, it can work out. I say, do what you think will make you happy, and try not to care what others say.
  2. I think I feel numb at this point. The guy I was dating for 4 months (a new record for me) dumped me because I got depressed/anxious. It just hit me out of nowhere, like it often does. If I could control it, obviously I would. He couldn't "handle it." I felt super sad at first, then I was angry, and now I just feel...numb? It's his loss. I helped him when he went to urgent care, and was an advocate for his mom when she was in the hospital, but he couldn't be there for me. That hurt. I told him from the very beginning that I get depressed, so it wasn't a secret. Going forward, I've come to the realization that I just need to hide this part of me. I wanted someone to love me for me, good and bad, but I guess mental health issues are a deal-breaker.
  3. They *should* have electrodes for sensitive skin. Just ask. I hope you feel better soon.
  4. I can relate to this so much right now.
  5. Thank you. I hope so, too. This new unit seems more organized and the supervisor seems nice, so I'm hopeful.
  6. I'm grateful to have a job, as I know some of you are struggling with finding one, but My last day working on my current unit: No break. Got yelled at by MD, for something ridiculous. Nobody really even said goodbye, though I kept this information pretty private, so that's my fault. I'm ready to move on, but I hate change and I'm worried about starting on the new unit. I feel undervalued. I give my best at work, putting my patients needs above mine, but it isn't enough. I'm tired. Tomorrow is another day...that I don't work. Thank goodness.
  7. Please see your doctor, sooner, rather than later. I work on a cardiology unit. Without getting into too much detail, or making you more stressed than you already are, the water retention in your hands and feet may be related to your heart, as well as the coughing, too. Of course, it could be nothing at all, or something different entirely. I'm not trying to diagnose you, just encouraging you to see your doctor. I hope you feel better.
  8. This gets me. My dog is my baby and has been the only thing to keep me alive in my darkest times. I'm so sorry to all of you who have lost your pets. They really do become part of our family and for some of us, one of our closest friends. It's so difficult when they pass, but try to find peace in the fact that you gave them a happy life with so much love.
  9. This makes me really sad. I'm sorry. I couldn't imagine having chronic physical pain as well as having to deal with the emotional pain. That's just not fair.
  10. I am at a normal weight right now, but I am working hard to maintain.Thankfully my depression fog has lifted enough that I am able to cook for myself and get to the gym. Along with the medications causing weight gain (oh my gosh, Seroquel), when someone is so depressed, sometimes the small task of brushing your teeth seems like too much. This means that exercise, and going to the store to chose foods to make healthy meals is not an option. (You guys understand this, but many health professionals don't.) I know many people here are on limited budgets as well, and no matter what the "professionals" say, it's (usually) more expensive to eat healthy. Truthfully, when I'm feeling low, I'd rather (cheap) comfort foods over having to prepare something like quinoa and veggies anyway. Right now I grocery shop daily and only buy what I will eat during the day. The Seroquel turns me into a mad-woman eating machine at night and I'll eat everything I have if I keep food in the house. Medication induced weight gain is a real concern, and I wish people would be a bit more sensitive to this.
  11. I'm sorry you and your cat aren't doing well. I hope things start looking up for you.
  12. Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response. I'm sorry you're feeling low.
  13. I'm so lonely that my chest physically aches, and I can't stop crying. The only way to escape is sleep, but I always wake up. I had a date with a guy I really liked, and I thought it went well. He ignored my texts after that date. Then I has 2 dates with a guy I liked, but now he ignores me unless I initiate conversation first. I don't know what I did/didn't do, or should/shouldn't have done or said. I'm heartbroken over these fools. To top things off, I'm on strike and have zero money saved. I had to borrow money from my ex, the one guy who has ever cared for me. Messing that relationship up is the biggest regret of my life, and I have many. I see no point on continuing to live, but I'm afraid of what that would do to my mom.
  14. One day I'm fine and then BAM, it hits me. Anxiety, extreme depression, don't care to get out of bed. Of course I can't get an appt. with my psych until the end of May. I'm considering seeing one of those crisis psychiatrists, but the last time they were not helpful. I felt so good after the ketamine and still take it inter-nasally, but I guess it doesn't work anymore. I really want to die.
  15. It may be time to look for another psychiatrist, perhaps? My last psychiatrist basically gave me the option of ECT or Ketamine therapy, and didn't prescribe anymore medications. I knew there were more medications that I didn't try and/or different combinations and I felt like he had given up on me, so I found a new psychiatrist to see. For me, this was very helpful.
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