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cutepuppies

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  1. I feel so emotionally worn out and tired.

  2. Thank you for the suggestions! I'll look into that. I've also found that visiting 7 Cups of Tea, a site that provides listeners to live IM with, was super, super helpful. I wen through two rough days, but talking it out with a "listener" really helped. Cutepuppies.
  3. Hey guys, So I actually really like my therapist and find talking to her really helpful. At least in boosting self esteem and confidence in the short run. This has been my first week since September to not see my therapist. I'm also going to have two weeks of not seeing my therapist when Christmas come around. Do you have any advice for getting through those therapy free times? Thanks, Cutepuppies
  4. I feel guilty because I feel like a horrible person when I think about how I wish I wasn't at home for Thanksgiving break. I would much rather be with my boyfriend who knows I have depression than my family who I actively have to hide my depression and meds from. I try to think to myself that I could have a lot worse family, but I'm still not happy.
  5. I feel sad, lonely, and empty even when there are people I know who care about me.
  6. Hey Licito, Have you seen a doctor? It might be something to look into. Not saying that you do have depression, but it might be a possibility. Even with moderate depression, I still have moments when I feel a-okay and things are looking bright. Depression is not always feeling sad all the time. It comes in many different forms. Even people with perfectly good lives can get depression, sometimes it's chemistry that causes it, sometimes it's something else. To sum it up, my advice is to see a doctor. Make yourself at home here and welcome to the forum. :) Warm wishes, Cutepuppies
  7. Great point Thimble! My therapist once had me do that. I was working on anger and spiral thoughts at the time so she had me write down what was going through my head in the moment. Her seeing the deep, hard pencil lines in the paper when I was mad and the thoughts of hopelessness showed her things I couldn't always express. Sometimes it's also hard to remember how you were feeling in a particular moment, especially when it happened awhile ago, writing it down closer to the moment can help you remember. So after writing the things down, I gave the paper to my therapist, and she read over it silently, asking questions when she wanted clarification. Give it a try. If you find it helpful, that's great! If you're like me and finding writing about stuff kinda traumatizing, that's okay too. Experiment and find out what works best for you. There's no right or wrong way. Warm wishes, Cutepuppies
  8. Hey guys, So I've been diagnosed with depression for 3 months now. It started out as extreme anger, then changed to anxiety, then changed to sadness, then changed back to occasional anxiety attacks. I can go days feeling "normal", then something happens, and BOOM! I go downhill for a few hours until the meds kick in. Here lately it's been extreme feelings of stress that hit me light a train and leaving me curled up on the couch feeling completely overwhelmed and anxious. It's always saddening because I went for days with no problems and thought I was getting better, when in truth, it was just hiding. Do any of you have days of feeling great and thinking everything is okay, then turn into a stress ball in just a matter of minutes? How do you cope with the extreme change in moods? How do you cope from feeling okay to then being reminded that you really aren't okay? Thanks, Cutepuppies
  9. Hey Girl, When I first started therapy, I had similar feelings. I hadn't talked to anyone in great detail about some of the topics that came up. At first it was a little scary. Why I held back is because I felt guilty for doing what I did or feeling the way I did, like somehow I had put myself in that situation. Talking it out with my therapist really helped by self esteem because I came to realize that what happened in the past is not always my fault and I don't have to be ashamed of it and blame myself. Your therapist is not there to judge. Their goal is to listen to what you have to say and possibly change your mind set about those events that happened in the past. Try to remind yourself that when you go in. Even if it is scary at first to open up and be really honest. Warm wishes, Cutepuppies
  10. Hey DStar, My best suggestion is to see a doctor about this. Only a doctor can really diagnose. Just knowing what you may have can give you some relief. I know that when I was first diagnosed with depression, I was extremely relieved. All I knew is that something wasn't right and I needed some way to make it better. Please seek help and maybe then you can get some answers. Warm wishes, Cutepuppies
  11. Hey guys, One last update. After talking to my brother who went through some similar stuff with my mother, I decided to keep my mental illness to myself. Not sure if it's the greatest idea, but I don't see anything good coming out of telling her anything. You can't change a person. However, though this process, I have identified other people who can help be my support. What I have told her is that I have made the decision to work Winter break and not come home as early as planned. When the time comes, I will also tell her point blank that I plan to work at college this summer and not come home. So things are still rough, but as long as I get to make my own decisions about what I'm going to do, I don't see how it's her business in what I do. Thank you for your support along the way. It hasn't been easy, but I'm getting there. -cutepuppies
  12. Thank you, that actually may help. I always do my trig homework in the math tutoring lab even if I don't need help. I also always do it at a certain time because I love routines and it makes me confortable. I'll see what I can do about finding a good place to always go at a certain time. Thanks Caelum!
  13. Captain, I think it's great that you're trying out ways that may help you understand yourself better. Way to go! For an assignment, my therapist told me to keep a journal of your feelings and things that go on. However, at that time, it was difficult to write about stuff that had happened that day because I was so upset about it. My therapist decided that we wouldn't do that again so I wouldn't have to relive the feelings again when I wrote down things that happened during the day. For some people with depression, writing helps them. For others like me, writing just brings up emotions again for a second time. If writing makes you feel better, go for it! If not, then maybe look into other options such as volunteering, listening to music, or exercising. Warm wishes, Cutepuppies
  14. Hey guys, I'm having problems with my university homework in Chemistry. Chemistry is not my best subject. I find it really hard to start doing the chapter's homework because I have this overwhelming anxiety and I'm scared that I'm going to see the questions and have no idea how to do them. I get a tightness in my chest, then start thinking, "omg I can't do this, omg, I don't understand the material, omg, I'm going to fail the class! My GPA will drop and I will lose all my scholarships and end up back at home!" So making the anxiety worse, I just avoid the homework and online quizzes until the last minute. I always work though the problems and have way to seek help with them when I need to. But I can't shake this overwhelming feeling that I'm going to fail before I even start. Do any of you have a similar feelings and what do you do to cope? Thanks, Cutepuppies
  15. Hey guys, I just wanted to give you an update on my therapy session. I've decided that I wanted to work at the university some of holiday break, not all of it but some. And I also want to work a summer job at school instead of going home like I promised my mom. I'm ready to be an adult and am taking the steps there just like I've been doing since high school. I just need to get my mother to see that I am. I talked with my therapist about my concerns about telling my mother about me taking depression meds, seeing a therapist, and working the break and summer. My therapist helped normalize it for me that it's perfectly okay to want to branch out and set boundaries with my parents. I'm 20, this is my second year of college, and I've done everything for myself besides car insurance since high school. I even took care of my first a speeding ticket by myself without my parents knowledge. I've also taken myself to the emergency room, seen a doctor about medical concerns, seen a doctor for birth control, and have gotten my summer and school jobs by myself with out any help from my parents. I shouldn't have to be asking my parents for permission to do anything. So now my plan is to tell my mother, "hey you may not like it, but this is what I'm doing and these are my plans". Then be prepared for her to not agree and be upset with me. Then use positive self talk to reassure myself that the plans I have is normal and seeking medical help for myself is normal and that I am doing the right thing even if my mom believes otherwise. You guys have been great in giving me the confidence that I am doing the right thing and that telling my mother the truth is okay even if she doesn't like the truth. Wish me luck! -cutepuppies
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