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been_too_long

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  1. Definitely too soon to even consider "cure" nor even remission but feeling something going on. Only starting 2nd week of the cocktail 1) have experienced ASMR for first time in more years than can remember. Caused by certain patriotic songs. 2) have started dreaming again after 4ish years without. Not good dreams, not nightmares just average dreams. (did experience sever vivid nightmares about 3 months ago when raised lamotrigine to 350mg, went away when lowered back to 300mg) 3) best can describe is random spurts of "upbeatness." Funny thing is it is in ways Ive NEVER experienced before. some "bopping" to music.. never done and always envied those that could. caught myself trying to dance a few time and I do NOT dance (this boy has no rhythm.....) even caught myself singing in shower couple times. 4) easier to control irritability. I contribute this possibly to lamotrigine evening me out. 5) so close... I mean sooo close to an orgasm. hasn't overly effected sexual desire but is allowing Viagra to work which has been a hit or miss for couple years, and even when does work it was not at full effect till now. anyway.... lamotrigine 300mg (taking this because have realized I am a borderline personality. Funny thing is without the anhedonia I would never considered it nor accepted being one. Ive always been "different" especially in military. Youd almost call me a "psychopath" but I can turn it on and off. Don't meet full requierments of antisocial personality disorder) abilify 25mg Remeron 30mg.. doctor wants me raise it to 45mg end of 2nd week Welbutrin 200mg.. I want to raise but dr iffy on it. Kind of worried about me taking two meds that has seizures as uncommon side effects. As said anhedonia not in remission but it feels promising. Will remark back as continue current concoction. Wish me luck guys.
  2. thanks alot for your response

  3. I cant try this cocktail currently as one the key ingredients (bupropion) not available where I presently am. Have been trying to come up with a way to hit each spot Im thinking is responsible. Im convinced it takes a multipronged attack. That's where the scientist are going wrong, mono therapy is not cutting it. Dosages Im still trying work out. lamotrigine- it is not yet known its mechanics but does show to do something serotonergic having to do with glutamate or fast sodium channels. Yeah its a anticonvulsant but also a mood stabilizer. It would normally be used in bipolar or borderline personality disorder. While its primarily to hit the mania side of bipolar, who knows. Maybe since we seem to not have the typical depression we need an atypical approach. bupropion- hits the nAChRs. Im thinking every other day would be optimal to prevent the burnout some people report zinc supplement- increases the sensitivity of nAChRs to bupropion Acetyl-L-Carnitine- neuroplasiticity effect, membrane modulation, and neurotransmitter regulation. nothing wrong with a little brain remapping and regrowth huh? (chemical form of meditation?) vitamin C- works together with the enzyme dopamine-beta-hydroxylase to convert dopamine into norepinephrine. Thinking might have an effect since increased amounts of serum dopamine and the absence of nor-epinephrine and epinephrine can be seen with dopamine-beta-hydroxylase deficiency. fish oil- makes it easier for serotonin to pass through cell membranes HGH supplement- HGH secretions swiftest decline occurs in middle age, same age biological depression also starts to appear... hmmmmmmmm probably should have levels checked first since HGH therapy can have some icky side effects. piracetam- to enhances cellular membrane fluidity, and increase in levels of neurotransmitters. some reports of small population that has the opposite result and induces depression... same thing can be said about SSRIs. Kinda of risky imo but something to think about. *************************************************** Anyone tried combos of any of these? Im figuring would be best to start with lamotrigine/bupropion/zinc then start adding others in looking for results. HGH being the last to throw in the mix may substitute mirtazapine for bupropion
  4. cant speak for others but can say for sur stress did not cause mine
  5. Zinc has no effect on me though lamotrigine gives me the same result. This has done knowing towards the anhedonia nor libido side effect of anhedonia. It feels like brings you right to the dge but does not step you over.
  6. One great thing is it sounds like a side effect of a formal "illness." Gives hope they just need find the right treatment for you. Fact is you've had a remissions. Most of us have not....
  7. Wish I could care enuff to cry. That would be a dream come true. I have had tears come to the eyes but like loving someone its not truly emotional for me. Its a logic response.. I know Im supposed to but have to force it. Im engaged to the most beautiful psychiatrist in the world (before anyone says it NO I did not meet here us one my caregivers.) I know beyond shadow of a doubt I love her. I can list a million reasons why not only I should love here but things I subconsciously do for her are things Ive only done for someone I truly cared for. Fact is I do love her... I just don't get to enjoy the "high" that comes with being inlove. Upside is she understands what Im going thru and doesn't hold it against me.
  8. There is nothing good about anhedonia. To look for the silver linings is to accept not only the condition but to also accept there is no hope for getting over it. Fight with us friend. We all deserve better than this mocking of life.
  9. Wish we could help you. Few of us on here are looking for connections, trying follow leads, working towards some kind of relief cause quite honestly... the help your asking for does not exist. Im not saying this to make you feel hopeless. On the contrary we wouldn't still be fighting if we don't have hope. Im just being straight forward so don't get you false hope instead. Don't sit there thinking we can give you a magic bullet to make the curse go away. Join with us in the search :)
  10. First off none of us are Dr's so only oppinons can be given; same token Drs are clueless about this condition.... Quite honestly it really doesn't sound like anhedonia. Sounds more like major depression. Trust me that's good news because there is a chance for help in your case. The bad news... get your ass to a Dr immediately. Longer depressions goes untreated that more treatment resistant it can become. And for the sake of the gods STOP ruminating. Your making things lost worse for yourself. Keep in mind lack of interest and enjoyment is one the milestones of depression. Anhedonia is 100% different. Fact you can even feel "hurt" is a good indicator. The emotional blunting your feeling is most likely a protective mechanism. I admit I generally get riled up when I see headers on here "think I got anhedonia" or "do I have anhedonia." If you got it youd freaking know it is my normal gut response. Lot times it comes across as jumping on a bandwagon and attention seeking (which is quite silly wanting attention from anonymous people on the web.) The way you present it though comes off as someone in true pain and looking for help. My hopes goes go out to you. As said this is good news for you. There is NO known treatment for the curse we deal with. Go get your treatment friend.
  11. Simple answer.. NO. I feel no emotions so what do I have to cry about? Hell Im not even sad... Im just freaking p***** off at this curse.
  12. Sadly.. no extremely sadly... there is very very few reports of recovery (so few I personally question the ones there is.) Most common theories among researchers and sufferers is there is a chemical imbalance (which chems is under debate.) Therapy/counseling has little chance against a purely chemical issue. Then again no one knows for sure what causes depression either. Just a cruel reality, psychiatry is not pure science with clear cut rules and strategies like say cardiology. There isa lot of guessing, theories and just plain throw stuff against the wall and see what sticks. Don't mistake that I am insulting psychiatrist (Im engaged to the most beautiful psychiatrist to ever walk this planet.) Not their fault that we as of yet do not scientifically understand the brain yet.
  13. Low testosterone can definitely mimic major depression, especially decreased libido. As lanar stated there is a big difference between low libido, anorgasmia, and pleasure dissociative orgasmic disorder (sexual anhedonia.) You really need to sit down and analyze if its just related to orgasms or to all pleasurable experiences. If only been two weeks I wouldn't panic, quite number of us have been dealing with several years of this curse. Could be a temporary stress reaction. Do you have also have other "mental disorders?" Contrary to common belief, anhedonia can be comorbid with several "conditions" (and as a few of us believe can be stand alone.) Have you by chance recently started a SSRI? Definitely get treatment for the testosterone. Also be evaluated for high prolactin levels. Rule out physical causes before move to the pesky brain.
  14. Think about what your saying. For one thing, you wouldn't be out long enough to cause the brain to "reset." That would not be near causing your brain/body to go into survival mode; youd have to be near brain damage from lack of oxygen to enter that state and you would still be breathing while "passed out." Nor would subconscious close down anymore than being asleep would. I might not be a psychiatrist; but years as one the best daman corpsman to ever stuff a Marine's guts back in.. Im quite confident on those points. As to your theory of causing amnesia from passing out.... ummmmm... ok if you passed out, hit your head on the ground hard enough to cause subdural hematoma,, but yeah, no go there. Not to mention your theory of turning off the "stress response," no go there. That is not how amnesia works. Your idea is coming from not understanding the mechanics of how ketamine works. Don't feel bad cause Drs don't have a clue why it may work either; only guesses. I will also say that suggesting others to do such a foolish thing and report back before you try it.. well do I really got to say it? Now if your willing try it for yourself then keep in mind; while there is a loss risk from permanent damage from hyperventilating; the risk is still there. Probably little safer to go stand for hour in the hot sun then lock your knees. Once again... as an ex medical professional... your a fool for trying.
  15. Im glad to hear you've made it thru this curse. That being said; Im confident there is multiple cause for anhedonia. There are those of us that have no other signs of depression or any other "mental" condition. If theres different causes then seems to reason that it will take different approaches to clear it up. If a chemical caused it.. a chemical will most likely be the cure. We all here should know that mental issues are not simply getting in a rut or funk. There is biochemical malfunctions and structural abnormalities at work. Mysticisms wont override those.
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