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Everything posted by Maxx55

  1. Evin, no offense taken. I think I can handle some critizims well, especally from you folks - you are only trying to help with advice. Well no one night stand - nor do I think it will ever happen, to mature for that. Not to mention, one of my friends threatend to slap me silly if I did that. Anyway thank you for the support. I had a second interview with a place I applied with, I guess there is one more involved, I'll keep you posted. I was a little cheered up tonight - I had Christmas at my Aunt & Uncle's house and it was good to see the family again. My wife came with and I have a sense that she was putting on a "good wife, nothing is wrong with me and my hubby" show for the family....and quite honestly, I don't have the strength to tell them what is going on if she didn't show. If I could ask a favor and that is send some well wishes and a hug or two my way, Lord knows I need it. That's all for now.
  2. The saga continues. Something I haven't mentioned before, but my wife will be flying out of state on the 29th to the Windy City to spend time with some of her "online friends". She hasn't even met these people off-line and she is going to be out there, celebrating new years, while I am here at home, ALONE!!! She's been raving about this "really supportive" guy - I'd rather not believe what I am thinking, but I am sure it will happen (Take a guess what I mean) Saw my therapist Thursday - good news is I am getting interviews regarding my job situation. Bad news - no firm offer yet. Told her what was bothering me regarding my wife, told her how hurt I was, how disrespectful. Half of me is tempted to get revenge and have a one-night stand, which would just so happen to take place when she is getting home from work - just to show how hurtful it is.....but I won't - I think I am a better person than that. Still feeling low, not to mention it's almost christmas and I don't feel the same as I did when I was a kid. You know, kids have it easy - no taxes, no job, no dealing with assh*** bosses to deal with, and they are oblivious to the world unless it applies to them or their toys. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being a kid again.
  3. I have to get on this topic. The one I am going to post is from one of my favorite websites - Darwin Awards - For those who have not heard of the Darwin Awards - here is a direct quote from the webpage - " We salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it... ensuring that the next generation is one ***** smarter. Of necessity, this award is generally bestowed posthumously. " Now this story is an "Honorable Mention" because the person lived, (February 1981, California) Phoenix Field airport in Fair Oaks had been subject to recurring petty thefts from neighborhood teenagers, so a security firm was retained to patrol the grounds. Thefts decreased sharply, but fuel consumption was on the rise. This puzzling situation continued until late one night, when a passerby noticed a flaming airplane on the field. By the time the fire department arrived, the plane had completely melted into the tarmac. While they extinguished the residual flames, the passerby noticed a uniformed figure lying facedown several yards away. It was a security guard! He was revived and questioned. Turns out he had been siphoning fuel from small planes to use in his car. The plane he selected that night had a unique fuel storage system involving hollow, baffled wing spars. When the determined guard shoved the siphon in, it stubbed against the first baffle. No matter how he twisted, pushed, and pulled the hose, he could not siphon any fuel from the plane. Exasperated, he lit a match to see inside the tank... and the rest is history.
  4. Dual post Evin? Thank for the responses thus far. I feel a little bit better after reading the responses. There is always tomorrow, hope it is a better day.
  5. Yes, We had a certain lifestyle with it. It was a Monday - Friday job - 8 am to 4 pm (unless an emergency happened) off weekends, paid holidays off, sick days, personal days, 3 weeks vacation. I am trying as best as I can to get back on my feet, but it seems everytime I get on my hands and knees and start to pull myself up, someone or something is there to kick me back down.
  6. I posted this on a different webboard, but there seems to be more people here. Well here it goes. I feel right now everything is in a downward spiral and I don't know what to do anymore. I guess I should give a little situational feedback as far as what started me down this road. About a 2 and a half years ago, I lost my well paying and enjoyable position, a mid-level manager position, which was salary but I was making 40k year. It was a highly technical job and I was able to do it very well, to the point I was recognized by directors and managing directors for my performance and received bonuses and gifts. You see my position was made up of 3 primary duties; training of staff, system technician, and quality control person (basically ensuring that people were doing the job they were trained to do and following up on projects they were assigned.) As I said, I was recognized by very high level management in the company, but my immedate supervisor thought something different. He would constantly insult me, my skills, and intelligence, and what college education I had. Please note that I was a college grad, he was college dropout at the time and was a friend of the boss, go figure how he was able to keep his job. Ugh, anyway. We had received a new computer system with very specific program installed on it and a 2 months after we went live with the computer system, the company who manufactured that product wanted us to attend an advanced training course, at the cost of 3k. I was asked my professional opinion about it and I said it was, for the most part, a waste of time and money. I was overrulled. Then the preperation of the trip included the purchase of two plane tickets, one for me and one for the boss mentioned above. I asked for the accomdation to drive, namely because I am terrified of passenger planes and travel by one. Military aircraft I'm ok with, show me a picture of a 747 and I turn away. Try to force me on to a airliner and all heck breaks loose. I repeatedly aksed and finally forced to beg to be allowed to drive, the only answer I heard back was "no. the tickets had already been paid for." I told them I would repay the cost of the ticket and I even offered to drive my personal vehicle, that too was shot down by superiors. The day of the trip, I arrive at the airport and I was so, so nervious. I couldn't think clearly, and all I thought was if I went on that plane, I wouldn't be coming home. The boarding anouncements began, and my boss was getting frustrated with me and finally he got on board, I never made it. I was shaking, crying, ugh I was a mess. I barely made it to the restroom to throw-up whatever I ate. A week goes by and my boss gets back into town and the first or second day back he forced me to resign, saying if I didn't I would be fired. Everything has been downhill since then. I now work a job that pays almost 1/2 less than what I was making, my marrage has gone on to rocky times, and I even think my wife is going to leave me. I have been diagnosed with Anxity and Depression and I have been placed on meds....it doesn't seem to help. The only thing that seems to help is my two kitties. I sometimes cry and the kitties come to my aid. My wife and I have been seeing a therapist, whom is a marrage coucler (sp?) and earlier this week (and 3 days after my birthday) my wife finally admitted saying that she is no longer attracted to me and she thinks my situation is "bringing her down". Last month she traveled out of state, where she saw an old friend.....well and old boyfriend to be exact. She finally came clean and said that she had slept with him while she was there (as if I couldn't already tell - cold shoulder, no affection - not even a hug). Additionally I have been in a legal battle with my employer, I can't go into more details due to legal reasons, but it isn't going to well - in fact I am in a rush to find a new job, and I might have to take different job that I may not like, but have no choice because begars can't be choosers. I haven't been sleeping very well, I have a little hope left that someone some company, somewhere will get me out of this abyss, but I can say it's pretty dark right now. I even texted my wife when I was trying to sleep (she was in the next room) that I wasn't feeling very well. She came in and for lack of a better description, I just asked her to find my favorite knife (SOG Seal Pup - designed for the Navy SEALS) and hide it from me. She did and I don't know where it is, nor do I want to find it. Can I ask one thing of the ladies - why have the last two women in my life felt it was necessary to sleep with other guys, where is the loyalty, compassion, or at least respect to me? Thanks for listening.
  7. Hi all, My screen name is Maxx - feel free to address me as that. Maxx is my favorite comic book charicter from the comic book "The Maxx" - do a google on that if you want more information. I hope that this place will help me vent and get things off my chest that get to me.
  8. This is my first posting here and I am a man who is sick and tired of all of the names that people give to guys who are more emotional. You know the names like, Wimp, wuss, girly man, dork, freak, or whatever other names people have used. I have depression and it has already cost me. I lost a job because of it and because I had people who were not understanding about it. I won't go into details, too many bad memories.
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