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About Izz350

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    I like music, mostly alternative and psychedelic rock. I love TV, my favorite show is the Simpsons, and I like to draw and write.
  1. At the moment, I could not be happier. I hope this feeling never ends

  2. I feel like the happiest person in the world right now. I thought I had lost my only friend for good about 2 months ago, and today he called me up and asked if I'd like to hang out with him tomorrow. I cried tears of happiness. If only he knew how much I missed him, and everything I had gone through alone. I'm so glad he is back; even if he can be an ***** he means the world to me.
  3. I know how you feel :( New Years is always tough because you're bound to look back and wish you had done more things with your life. This year, I looked at a picture that was taken of me and my friends a year ago on New Years Eve, and I felt really depressed because not one of those people in the picture were around for me this year. I felt really sad, and wished I could have gone back in time and done so much more with them than I did, but unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. So, I resolved that this year, I'd try to take more chances and before I do something, pretend to look back from the future and ask myself if I'd regret not doing it. So, my advice to you, is Go for that Bungee Jump; and enjoy every moment before its gone. I really hope 2015 will be better for you, try your hardest to get out of any ruts you may be in, so when 2016 rolls around a year from now, you can look back and have some good memories :)
  4. I feel so empty

  5. I went to go hang out with some people today, prospective friends. One guy kind of flirted with me, and I did it back too. Everyone I hung out with had a lot in common with me and they were all really nice, but I left early and didn't call them at all this week. After I left, I just cried. I felt almost like I was being disloyal to the memory of my friendship. I just can't seem to get over this. It hurts, and it might hurt for a long time. I see a counselor and I talk about this feeling, but it doesn't help. I might have to take pills but I don't think there's any that can take away this kind of pain. People can't be replaced. I feel bad for the people I hung out with; I'm sorry but they're just not my friend.
  6. Thanks :) I hope everything works out for you too.
  7. I wish I had more chord books. When I feel this bad, playing guitar is the only thing that helps me; even though I'm terrible at it.

  8. The reason my friend left was because he found out that I liked him more than friends, ever since I met him really. I understand why he would be freaked out; I never expected him to feel the same way and I even told him that, but what hurts the most is that he was the only person in the world that I was ever close to; and after 10 years of being close friends, he just up and left me. I try so hard to tell myself he was being a jerk, and that it was his fault and if he can't grow up that's his problem, but I just can't bring myself to do it. I miss everything about my friend. It feels like nothing in my life means anything without him. I feel like its my fault, and I over think everything, all the things that had to go wrong in the universe for that to happen, and how it never was supposed to end like this. He really was a good friend to me; but I have too many problems; and on top of that he just couldn't take anything else. I try so hard to change the person I am; to be more normal, but I just can't and I hate myself for being incapable of change. I really miss my friend; and I want to move on with my life and forget everything; but no matter how hard I try, I just feel worse. Everyday, I write down stuff that happened to me, or memories I had of us hanging out; as if one day I'd be able to tell it all to him; but I'm kidding myself. I had my shot, and I blew it.
  9. I lost my only friend 2 months ago and haven't spoken to him since (even though I tried to) and I'm having a really hard time realizing that he's gone from my life now. I'd been friends with him for an entire decade, then suddenly, our friendship was over without warning, like someone switching off a light. Everywhere I go, I remember fun things we did places, and everything he said, and I just can't take it anymore. I've lost friends before, sometimes people drift apart, or move, or change, that's only natural; and I was able to move on when that happened. But he means so much to me; more than anyone else on the planet, and now he's just gone. I didn't have any closure. It was a mutual ending for all of the other friends I had lost, but this time, its like waking up when you're in the middle of a dream and never knowing how it ended. I think about my friend everyday, and talk about him constantly, to a point where other people sometimes get irritated. But I just can't help it. I miss him so much, but what happened cannot be reversed. People tell me that I'll make other friends, but I don't want other friends, I want MY friend. I just don't know what to do, I feel so empty and sad, like a part of me is missing. Please Help
  10. I really hope things can get patched up between you and your mother. I know it sucks to just have yourself to talk to about problems; it might help to see a counselor ( i know, everyone says that but still) Also, post as much as you need on the forums, we're here for you :)
  11. I went to the mall to go christmas shopping for my sister, and even though it was really crowded, I didn't throw up from anxiety like I usually do. I know to most people that isn't that big of an accomplishment to leave the house and not get sick, but for me it is, and I'm proud of myself :)
  12. Well, I'm not so sure about positive people being in my family, but you're right. I'll try to find someone positive I can be around, cause surroundings do make all the difference :)
  13. Unfortunately, no :( My family isn't very supportive or empathetic towards me; and doctors are just doing the same things over and over again...
  14. I stopped going to school a while back, but recently I got a call telling me I was truant and had to come back. The reason I stopped going in the first place, was because I was having lapses in reality and hallucinations so frequently, I started "making scenes". I became afraid that someone would call the police and I would end up in a mental institution for yelling at people and things that don't exist, so I just stopped going. I was too sad to be there anyways. My depression has reached an all time low, and everyday its a struggle for me to even get out of bed. But anyways, they held a meeting and told me I could spend the entire day in study hall; that I wouldn't have to deal with other students, and I could come in at 10 everyday. I agreed to come, but when I got there, it was nothing like they promised me. They dropped me back into my classes as if nothing had ever happened. I have to participate in group work, and I was told that I could show up at 10, but it was an unexcused tardy. Everything just got worse. People treat me like I'm ********, and now if I have a hallucination, they'll notice; and more and more people will start making fun of the "crazy girl". And they wonder why I'm unhappy. They say they don't understand, and they ask me what they can do to make me like it there. How about not treating me like I'm some kind of freak? How about helping me instead of making my life a living hell? Or even better, don't lie to me and pretend like you care when you don't? I'm so tired of this happening to me. Maybe I'd just be better off in a mental institution.
  15. I miss my friend. He was all I had and now he hates me and won't talk to me. I didn't even do anything; but that doesn't matter because he's gone now.

    1. trying27


      Ive lost so many friends oover the years due to alcohol. You will find new friends in time ,ones who will stick by you no matter what. Thier loss, not yours.

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