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About NancyF

  • Birthday 05/28/1962

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    Drawing/Painting, horses, dogs

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  1. I'm trying so hard to relax and not dwell on things that are piled up on me but today I'm having trouble letting go of the stress and anxiety. I can't stay focused on anything and I can't sit still. Problem is, I have health problems that prevent me from walking off the stress which in itself is causing more anxiety. First therapy appointment is tomorrow. That thought is stressful too but I need to do something today to help me relax. I used to use pastel painting and drawing to get my mind off of things but a pinched nerve in my neck is preventing me from having that outlet. My thoughts are racing and I'm not having any luck slowing them down. I'm even having trouble writing this down now because of it. Someone...please share some techniques you use that really helps. I don't want to spiral down deeper.
  2. Maybe try forcing yourself to let 'less than perfect' be good enough. Give your self 5 minutes to clean the mirror and let it be okay to stop after those 5 minutes are up. An hour later take another 5 minutes to do something else. Accept that imperfection is okay.
  3. I don't write in my journal everyday because I don't feel the need. To me it's for those days when things are getting to me. It's a place where I can dump the things that are bothering me or if I feel really down for no particular reason that I can identify. It seems to help me to 'get it out'. I don't worry about writing whole sentences. Sometimes it just a word and sometimes it's paragraph after paragraph.
  4. Most of our lives, we've been told that to be a success you must reach a pinnacle, whether it's work, marriage, creating art or whatever, and we tend to think this is the 'point' in life when the reality is that living is the 'point'. Each minute, hour, day, month, year is the point in our lives and trying to accept that is the toughest thing to realize and understand. I feel like a failure because I'm unemployed, we're losing our house and having to file for bankruptcy and I have some serious health issues to deal with. I let myself get overwhelmed by the things on my plate and decided I didn't deserve to live since I've been such a failure at it. Suicide was my solution. Obviously, it didn't work and there is no logical reason why it shouldn't have but, still, here I am. I'm committed to finding ways to deal with the heavy load that is my life right now. I begin therapy on Friday and hope that I will learn practical ways of handling the stressors I'm struggling with. I've decided to have my own mission statement to live by and here it is: The journey is the point of life. What is yours?
  5. Thankful for my husbands understand. Thankful for my three awesome dogs and the kisses they give me. Thankful I'm finally going to get cortisone shots in my neck and hopeful it will easy my pain. and finally Thankful I found this forum and the peer support here.
  6. Woke up for the 2nd time in 3 days with tears in my eyes and I don't even remember what I deampt about to cause it. ((sigh))
  7. Try something new. If you can get excited about something you're not already familiar with, it might spark an interest in things you've enjoyed in the past.
  8. When I was going thru colon cancer (9yrs clean now) a chemo nurse told me that keeping a journal, as I went thru the process, had been helpful to other patients. I started thinking about that when I was in lock-down, after my suicide attempt, and asked my husband to bring me a notebook. On the third day of my stay in there, he brought me a compisition book and I began writing in it. I found that getting some of the racing thoughts and emotions down on paper was really helpful & calming and have continued writing since I've been home. I also went out and bought a bunch of compisition books and donated them to the unit for others to use. I have switched to a computerized journal program because I can type faster than I can write and because my husband asked if he could read what I was writing so he can understand better what's going on in my mind. It's easier for him to read in tyoed format because, though my handwriting is good, trying to keep up with the racing thoughts can be difficult and I've found that the quality of my handwriting deteriorates when I'm trying to keep up using a pen. Does anyone else keep a journal? Do you feel it helps? I'm interested in everyone's thoughts on it.
  9. Thank you all for the support and kind words. My first appt with the T is Friday and I hope she can give me some good ways to deal with the pressures in my life right now.
  10. Hi everyone. This is my first day here and I'm already learning a lot. I need some advice. I'm going to my first therapy appointment on Friday. I've never done this before and I don't know what to expect or if there are questions I need to ask her. Any and all advice is greatly appreciated.
  11. HI Pablo. I'm new here too. I understand some of the feelings you're having as I've been there myself. I don't have panic attacks but I due have lots of anxiety and depression. My doc put me on Celexa, which I've been on for 2 weeks. It's not making me feel worse, just not sure if it's making me feel better quite yet. The doc said it will take several weeks to be fully effective in my system. I don't know if that's the same for all of the drugs they use, but I suspect they all need time to level off in your system. Try and give it some time and keep track of how you're feeling each day so you can give your doc the information. Don't let anyone give you grief about being gay. Be proud that you know who you are. It takes a lot of courage to be openly gay and not let peoples opinions get to you. I have several very good friends who are gay and they all struggled with that. Once they understood that other peoples opinions or beliefs don't matter, they were able to be more confident in who they were and their self-esteem got a lot better. Remember, there are a lot of people that DON'T have a problem with someone being gay. o
  12. Hi, my name is Nancy and I recently tried to commit suicide. Don't know why it didn't work and don't know why I don't have any permanent damage from the attempt but I now understand that there are other options and I just need to learn ways to deal with everything that is going on in my life. One thing I learned from being in a lock-down unit at the hospital, is that having people who've been there, to talk to, makes a big difference in how I feel. I'm really looking forward to being part of this forum.
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