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szap

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  1. If you are up and going through this, I would say you have already showed your resilience. It helped me in taking to a friend who went through an depressive episode. I was getting discouraged and said to him that it had been a year and he told me that in the time frame of recovery a year is nothing. For me it took almost two years to start feeling any improvement and to where I am today has been 29 months. Prior to this no one would have accused me of being patient, but patience is something I have learned and today people would say I am a much calme patient person. Stay strong. You will be in my prayers
  2. Mahartyn Thanks for the reply. I should have said I feel like my old self, like I was before depression and anxiety grabbed me. That is what I meant by normal, not a state of being or an ideal. To tell the truth I have always felt content with myself.
  3. I know positive posts are rare on here. As I improve, I realize that it is harder and harder to read the posts from those who are still in the grasp of this terrible disorder. Reading these posts becomes a constant reminder of something you so much want to forget, but I know how bad I needed to read positive posts and felt I needed to share. I was hit with MDD a little over two years ago. It was the first time this had happened to me. There is no history of depression in my family, so it was totally unexpected. I look back and realized a that time I had a lot of stress in my life and let anxiety build and build until I crashed . I was never suicidal, but the anxiety and depersonalation was through the roof to the point of no sleep, almost unberable mornings, and constant tearfulness. Although I cut way back I still got out and did things thanks in part to an amazing wife who kept me going. ?I was initially put on celexa by the family doctor and then added buspar. I was still seeing no improvement and was refered to a psychiatrist . My celexa and buspar was increased, I added mirtazapine for sleep, then welbutrin, lamictal and even testosterone. After almost two years I finally saw improvement. The mornings were better but stll challenging and the days were up and down. Although much better I just couldn't seem to get over the last hump. I was taking so many medications as I know many of you are and desperately wanted to cut back . We decided to start tapering the citalopram as I nevef felt it helped. I did this very slowly ovef a period of several months. I did experience some withdrawl each decrease, but they were never severe and only lasted a couple of days. Slowly I started feeling better until even the mornings were good. It wasn't until the last drop in citalopram dosage, that I realized my improvement appeared to correlate to less and less citalopram . Currently I'm still on a number of medications (lamiactal, mirtazapine , welbutrin and buspar) but I finally feel normal. I apologize for being so long winded . I hope my experience will give hope and encouragement to someone. If anyone has questions for me , I will be glad to answer them?
  4. Thanks for the reply lynn1954. I have been on citalopram for a year and have gone from 30mg down to 15 taken in the morning. I take buspar 15 mg three times a day and ha e for a year. I take wellbutrin 15 mg twice a day morning and afternoon and have since February. I take mirtazapine 45 mg at bedtime and have for a year and 400 mg lamictal also at bedtime. I started the lamictal in May and have worked up to the 400 mg. I have had most of these physical symptoms since the depression started,, it is just that I cannot shake them. I do have periods where they go away and I feel normal, but these periods have not lasted. The lack of appetite is primarily in the morning and is pretty well gone by evening, and I can eat without a great deal of effort. When low appetite in the morning I usually eat some greek yogurt and a banana . My sleep is decent usually 7 to 8 hours a night with a regular routine.ì take the mirtazapine for for sleep. Thanks again.
  5. I was hit with a major depression episode about 11/2 years ago. I did some therapy and have been on medication (citalopram , buspar , wellbutrin , mirtazapine and lamictal). I have improved to the point that I no longer am tearful, the depersonalization is gone, and I do not dread the day ahead. What I cannot get rid of is the physical symptoms . I still deal with fatigue, stomach issues and low appetite, headaches, and general not feeling good. My question is has anyone else experienced this? Did it go away? And last, could it be from the antidepressants. Thank you for any feedback you can give.
  6. I have been on citalopram for about a year first three months at 20 mg and last 9 months at 40 mg. It never seemed to do anything for me except for initall side effects. I started tapering the second week of April and am currently alternating days between 20 mg and 10 mg. After 1 week at this taper level, I started waking early. This is something I have experienced before, but it has been several months ago. Has anyone else experienced early waking while tapering citalopram ?
  7. I want to add to the positive responses. Had a major depression episode with accompanying anxiety last May. Since then have been on citalopram, buspar, mirtazapine, bupropion, and a very short try of trazadone. Depression did ease but still had physical symptoms. My pcdoc then prescribed lamictal starting at 25 mg a day and increasing 25 mg weekly to 100 mg. I felt some improvement at every titration,. When I got to 100 mg I felt a little better immediately but after 10 days I began to wonder if this was going to be another failure. The doctor said it could take a couple weeks to determine if the lamictal was going to work. Then on day 11 since going up to 100 mg, I had a light switch moment. Suddenly starting feeling good. First good mornings in 11 months. Didn't feel overly happy or new energy, I just felt normal.. It has only been a couple of days with this improvement so I am keeping my fingers crossed. I will try to update later.
  8. I have a question I hope someone on here can help with. I have been taking bupropion sr for a little over 8 weeks now. I am taking it for depression along with 40 mg celexa 45 mg remeron and 45 mg buspar . I started at 150mg and after a few days went up to 300 mg. Unfortunately the bupropion didn't do anything for me. Like others on here I experienced fatigue, nausea, ringing ears with no real positives. No honeymoon, no boost in energy and no increase in libido. After talking with my pcdoc, we decided we have given this long enough and I am going to stop taking it. My quextion, I went from 150 mg x 2 a day to 150 mg once a day and am 5 days into this decrease. I have been experiencing some nausea and this morning I had a hard time waking up and feel that the depression is increased . Does this sound like wellbutrin withdrawal symptoms and has anyone else experienced this with a dosage decrease? .
  9. LaurynJcat, thanks for your post. I am just 4 weeks on wellbutrin and I feel that side effects from it are part of the problem. It is frustrating though.
  10. I have been dealing with anxiety and depression since May of 2014, so a comparatively short time. The first month was sever depression, but with some counseling and meds (taking Celexa, Buspar, Remeron, and Wellbutrin) prescribed by my pdoc, things have improved. Today my depression by most of the tests is very low ( below 40 on the Zung scale) and except for some lack of motivation my mood is pretty good. The problems I have are physical. I deal with fatigue, stomach problems, head feeling squeezed, etc. almost daily. In general my mood is pretty good, but I feel lousy. Is anyone else experiencing this? Is this something that should go away? Could this be caused by medications? In the times I do not feel these physical problems, I feel normal and can actually forget about depression. But these times are rare. I do get up and go almost daily. Played 18 holes of golf two days ago, but it is usually an effort. Any feedback is appreciated.
  11. Newbie I have a question for the group. I have been on citalopram for gad and depression since May of this year. Started at 20 ms and increased to 40 in September. In August I added buspar. In October my PDC added mirtazapine increasing slowly to 30 ms and increased my buspar to 45 mgs. Everything was going great. I was sleeping good and had a 10 day stretch where I felt normal. My PDC told me if I was feeling a lot better for at least a month to try decreasing my citalopram down to 20 mgs to see if it would help with low libido. Well I forgot the " at least a month" part and tapered after 10 days. The first drop to 30 mgs went well and after a week I dropped to 20 mgs. Almost immediately it was like the mirtazapine pooped out. I went back to waking early and anxiety returned stronger than it had in months. I upped the citalopram back to 40 mgs and have been there for about 2 weeks, but have not seen much improvement. It really makes me wuonder if the dose decrease caused this or was the mirtazapine going to poop out anyway? If it was the dose decrease, will going back to 40 mgs eventually bring things back around or did my eagerness to get some semblance of libido back cost me?
  12. Newbie I have a question for the group. I have been on citalopram for gad and depression since May of this year. Started at 20 ms and increased to 40 in September. In August I added buspar. In October my PDC added mirtazapine increasing slowly to 30 ms and increased my buspar to 45 mgs. Everything was going great. I was sleeping good and had a 10 day stretch where I felt normal. My PDC told me if I was feeling a lot better for at least a month to try decreasing my citalopram down to 20 mgs to see if it would help with low libido. Well I forgot the " at least a month" part and tapered after 10 days. The first drop to 30 mgs went well and after a week I dropped to 20 mgs. Almost immediately it was like the mirtazapine pooped out. I went back to waking early and anxiety returned stronger than it had in months. I upped the citalopram back to 40 mgs and have been there for about 2 weeks, but have not seen much improvement. It really makes me wuonder if the dose decrease caused this or was the mirtazapine going to poop out anyway? If it was the dose decrease, will going back to 40 mgs eventually bring things back around or did my eagerness to get some semblance of libido back cost me?
  13. I have a question for the group. I have been on vital pram for gad and depression since May of this year. Started at 20 ms and increased to 40 in September. In August I added buspar. In October my PDC added mirtazapine increasing slowly to 30 ms and increased my buspar to 45 mgs. Everything was going great. I was sleeping good and had a 10 day stretch where I felt normal. My PDC told me if I was feeling a lot better for at least a month to try decreasing my citalopram down to 20 mgs to see if it would help with low libido. Well I forgot the " at least a month" part and tapered after 10 days. The first drop to 30 mgs went well and after a week I dropped to 20 mgs. Almost immediately it was like the mirtazapine pooped out. I went back to waking early and anxiety returned stronger than it had in months. I upped the citalopram back to 40 mgs and have been there for about 2 weeks, but have not seen much improvement. It really makes me wuonder if the dose decrease caused this or was the mirtazapine going to poop out anyway? If it was the dose decrease, will going back to 40 mgs eventually bring things back around or did my eagerness to get some semblance of libido back cost me?
  14. I have a question for the group. I was prescribed citalopram by my GP in May for anxiety and depression. I started on 20 mg and in August went to 40mg. Although my anxiety and depression have eased from the initial level, I cannot really tell that the Citalopram has done a whole lot.I was also taking 15 mg of buspar. It took 2 months to get in to see a psychatrist. He upped my buspar to 45 mg and prescribed mirtazapine 30 mg. He also told me that if I was feeling a lot better to reduce my citaloprm from 40 mg back to 20 mg. He said it would be fine to just drop back down to the 20 mg without any gradual reduction. Well thankfully I am feeling a lot better and am ready to reduce my citalopram. I am looking for advice on dropping from 40 mg directly to 20 mg. Will this work without major side effects? Thanks for any advice you can give.
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