Jump to content

loiden

Newbie
  • Posts

    17
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Recent Profile Visitors

483 profile views

loiden's Achievements

Newbie

Newbie (2/9)

7

Reputation

  1. You mention if I like going out till late? I don't mind at all, but she never lets me even join her when she's with her friends. And yes...I agree with you Fizzle... Anymore input?
  2. I know this is a breakup topic, but it has directly contributed to immense depression. I will keep it short, my gf and I were together 5 years. Really amazing relationship and we were best friends. Couple months ago, she started losing interest in me and started hanging out with her group of guy friends. They'd pretty much party, drink, do EVERYTHING together. She ended up kissing one of them, we broke up, and she still seems to have a blast as if our 5 year relationship never existed. So I am here, just completely shocked and hurt, while she is partying it up with friends and told me she is "happy". Anyways, we've been broken up for a few months now. She still hangs out with all these guys consistently, even travels with them, yet sometimes she sends me texts like 'I miss you'. We have recently met up a few times and pretty much just had sex. But she barely even seems to make any time for me, she'll meet up for a few hours have sex then leave for plans with her other friends. I've been so depressed and confused by all of this. I know I probably should let her go, but she has been giving me mixed signals...by still wanting sex, sometimes texting/seeing me and saying things like 'I miss you' and sending me cute pics. It's like she's keeping me on a string...when i tell her I want to feel like it was before, where I was the main person she always wanted to see and spend time with she shrugs it off. She seems to be happy hanging out more with her guy friends, not so much interest to see me and much as I do her... To put it into better scope for you all, she'll see her guy friends multiple times a week for most of the day, she might squeeze a couple hours 1 day a week for me. :/ and funny how she'll party with her guy friends on weekends till 5 am, ignore my texts all day, but when she's tired and drunk at 5am she'll call me or send a cute text. After she's had her fun with friends. Just so crushed by all of this...
  3. Thank you all for your sincere thoughts on this issue. One thing that's been going on, is we've been trying to fix things despite the fact that it's obviously over. Thing is, she had this whole entire week off work and spent every day sleeping at her guys friends house. And she still claims she hasn't had sex. (we were virgins when we started dating...so this hurts even more) Yet, when the opportunity to see me comes up, she's so hesitant even though she acts like she wants to see me and fix things. Maybe she becomes hesitant because sometimes I just rant to her (I need to stop that...). Or maybe I truly am being played by her and being killed off slowly...just used as a safety leverage for her ego. I think any rational person would clearly see the situation here. I've decided I'm not going to talk to her anymore. Whenever I talk to her, I just become more angry and bothered by everything. I notice if I go a day without talking, even though it hurts, it feels like the right thing and that I can start to heal. Thank you all once more for your input on this...it's very much appreciated
  4. Well, this has caused me a lot of depression/anxiety. But okay, thanks a lot buddy.
  5. I want to keep this short and sweet. Me and my girlfriend were together for 5 years. We had a great relationship and were best friends. I'm 24, she's 21. The past few months, she started hanging out with guy friends and sleeping over their houses numerous times a week. Drinks were involved. Long story short, she kissed one of the guys, fell in sleep drunk with him and claims there was no sex. Yet, even though we are broken up and she acts like she still wants to fix things, she hangs out with these people still and falls asleep at their houses and pretty much ignores me and shows no interest to spend time with me. She claims the relationship ended because I started boring her (that hurts). Lately, I've been drinking a lot and sometimes send countless texts ranting to her. I honestly feel lost and like I have no one. The more I rant to this girl and send her text the worse I feel about my self esteem...Does anyone have anything to say that could be helpful in this situation Im going through? NOTE: I AM NOT ASKING FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE. THE RELATIONSHIP IS OVER. I just have had trouble being happy/moving on/accepting everything
  6. Thank you for all the replies everyone. It helped...
  7. Hello all, Long story short, I am 24 years old. Been at it in college since 18. 6 years. Only have an AA degree. I am currently failing at my University and I feel completely suicidal like there are no more doors open for me. I have an amazing perfect girlfriend that I've been with for 5 years. I see myself marrying her one day. I am so down and crushed by my failures that in my sickest thoughts I wish she'd leave me so that I could k-i-l-l myself. I feel having something as good as her in my life is the only thing holding me back. After almost 7 years of trying to succeed in university I am fed up. I hate it. I hate my life. I write this post just as I walked out of a test that I failed. What seems to be the final nail in the coffin of a wasted life. I feel that my repetitive habit of not being a strong-willed individual and just living as an introverted individual who can't deal with the world is nail into me. I need help...I don't want to end up in a minimum wage job especially because I've had so many opportunities that I've thrown. Now I just wish for the worst...for my girlfriend to leave me...for me to die...
  8. Thank you all for the replies. First of all, I don't blame her for what happened. I hold myself accountable because he was my best friend of 7 years and I betrayed him. The girl and my friend only had a short shaky relationship so there wasn't anything very special between them two. In terms of everyone saying that she is capable of cheating again, I guess I don't blame you but that's my absolute last concern. From experience I can honestly say I have a sincerely loving relationship with her. Maybe what seems strange is how I lost my best friend only to find the girl of my dreams who I've been with almost 5 years now. That is normally not what happens in these type of situations. She was still in high school when this happened so she was very young and I was in my 1st year of college...we all make mistakes. I am so happy in my relationship and I truly consider her my best friend. But I've never really made other friends, like guy friends, since losing my friend years ago. Even men who consider their wife or girlfriend the love of their life and their best friend still appreciate having a best guy friend. I haven't had that since, or any close friend for that matter (besides acquaintances). So I guess deep down that's something I long for and it reminds me at times how I lost a truly great friend that can't be replaced. I do agree though, I have to move on. I'm not here saying I'm miserable. It's just it hits me at times.
  9. Hi all, I need some tips... Long story short, I had a best friend from 6th grade all the way to the end of high school and 1st year of college (7 years). In all seriousness, we were so close we were like brothers and I do not think I will ever have a friendship like that every again in my life. We had a special connection. In the 1st year of college, my best friend was dating this girl. Their relationship was very shaky from the start and we both hung out with her many times. Pretty much what happened is I kissed the girl (while they were still dating) and ended up losing my best friend. Years had gone by at which point me and the friend I betrayed met up and hung out quite a few times after he had forgiven me but the relationship will never be the same. At this point, we do not talk or hang out just because of awkwardness and growing apart from that incident. I have been dating that same girl for 4 years now and we have an extremely special relationship and could not be happier together.We are so close I can see myself marrying her. (note that after the incident, I didn't talk to the girl for a year. We started talking again then started to date...so I wasn't dating her right when I betrayed my best friend) Even though this happened 4 years ago, I still feel so ashamed of myself. I feel like my reputation is forever ruined as pretty much everyone I know knows this happened. I feel like everyone looks at my like a douche and like someone who can never be trusted. I feel like I lost my best friend, and I did. I FEEL LIKE A MAGGOT. Nonetheless, I am in the happiest relationship ever with this girl. But many times I think of my best friends and it shoots me down to hell. 4 years and the wounds of my acts are still fresh (even though ALL I DID was kiss her when my best friend was dating her, it was still betrayal). It may seem like I'm a douche for betraying him, and I am, but I think the most pain has been felt by me as I have still not gotten over it.
  10. Teddy545. Truth is, in many regards, hate for myself may be a large factor. Thanks for reminding me of that...it could help me solve this issue. PutABirdOnIt. I do have a buddhist temple not too far away that i never tried...i will aim to try it very soon. I think one thing that bothers me is i am also very lonely. I have an amazing gf of 4 years, but no friends and I barely talk to anyone because i have anxiety issues. I do think joining a meditation study and also being more social can help. The problems are probably more internal than with my brother...at least in terms of how i deal with it. Thank you both and all in this thread for your comments. You've given me a stepping stone to trying to solve this issue.
  11. My trouble is how to deal with my brother in working with him on this business. I don't know how to put my feelings aside... And i wasn't considering any type of meditation in particular PutABirdOnIt, I just want my focus on positive things back and I want to be able to manage to work with my brother because it's my best option now
  12. (sorry for double post! seriously) I don't mean to keep going on about this. I just need some serious help on how to calm my mind and not be so hateful. Is it to accept I have a crappy brother and move on? It feels too hard to try to mend things because I feel like I'm dealing with a lost cause and with someone who couldn't care less. Hate has been consuming me lately Idk why. I think it's because i've been depressed and extremely anxious also...but I don't know how to accept to work with a brother like this.
  13. He was always like that. He's a taker, not a giver. My parents are extremely good to him and everyone of us. He just does not show any care at all. He's never done anything kind for my parents.
  14. To PutABirdOnIt: I have spoken to my brother and expressed how I feel. He pretty much thinks I should get over it. He isn't "heart-to-heart" and mostly sees me as being overly sensitive and that I'm holding on to the past. Nowadays, we talk slightly more only based on the fact that we are working on this business so he has to talk to me for BENEFIT. Because I'm doing a pivotal part of all the work. Otherwise, he wouldn't talk to me, if there was no reason to. It's not just with me, even with my mom or dad. He will not speak to my mom or dad AT ALL unless he needs something financially speaking. I feel like he only interacts with his family 'me included' on a basis of need, not of love. That's why his once a month invite to his apartment I feel is so insincere. And when I tell him this fact he acts like it's nothing. He actually thinks he's a good son and brother and thinks I should just shut up and leave it be. I just feel like I'm lowering myself to even go. I feel like just accepted to work with him on the basis of also accepting that he is a stranger to me. That might help my mind because rather than feel like I'm working with a s***ty brother, it's better to work with a stranger. Idk, I'm blabbing now. And we are similar, he is almost like my clone to be honest.
  15. Throughout the years we never hung out. He always was just occupied with his gf and friends. He was never close to me. My parents didn't want him to baby sit me. I tried to talk to him and he'd talk to me if he was home but it was always like I was dealing with a stranger. It's hard to explain, he just always preferred his friends over me. Another thing that might've psychologically made me feel this way besides having had the experience of seeing my middle school-highschools best friend get along perfectly with his brother who was also 7 years older is the fact that my dad has 2 brothers and they are all EXTREMELY close. I only have this 1 brother, and this is how it turned out. I probably seem lame lamenting over this whole thing...I've just been very hateful lately especially since i have to work on this business with him. It's just made me so angry since I feel now I'm working towards his success when how I feel now is I just want him out my life. He wouldn't notice if I vanished. As stated, his has his first apartment now and could care less to even have me over. His friends tho, no problem. My dad allowed his brother to live with us when I was a baby for 5 years straight free of any charge, purely out of brotherly loyalty. My brother is too stingy to even buy me a water. It's not because I need a water, or a alcohol from him if at a bar, it's just the principle of it. I'm dealing with a stranger.
×
×
  • Create New...