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About Belle29

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  • Birthday 07/25/1977

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    Gardening, growing roses and (trying to grow!) subtropical and unusual plants, photography, taking care of my 2 dogs, 3 cats and fish, spirituality, reading, music, writing, love hiking and appreciating the beauty of nature, also meditation and yoga, meeting new friends:)
  1. Happy Birthday - hope you are doing well :)

  2. Hi hope you are doing well :)

  3. hey just trying to make some friends

  4. hey just hoping to make some friends

  5. I hope you had a fantastic day :)

  6. Hi, I currently take 1mg klonipin twice a day, plus 60mgs cymbalta. I've never had CBT, never even seen a counselor or psychiatrist in my life, though I'd like to at some point. Right now my family doctor is treating the anxiety and I was planning on asking for a med increase at the next appt., but am now leaning more towards asking for a complete med overhaul as Scattered13 mentioned. Thanks again for all the responses:) Belle
  7. kangen, thank you for your well wishes, I'm calling the dr this morning & hopefully he will have some suggestions. Wolfinlied, Thank you for your response as well, each of us has their own demons we battle, and I wish you all the best with overcoming yours. However for me it would be a Godsend to have my anxiety alleviated.
  8. Hi kangen, It really does help to know I'm not alone. You know, what you mentioned about taking things one day at a time is not generic at all. Most days I have to take things literally one minute at a time. It feels like torture, listening to the slow ticking of the clock, feeling my life passing me by, but also clinging to the belief that there is hope for improvement. This past week was so rough I am planning to schedule a dr appt Monday for a med adjustment. Thanks so much for your response, take care & best wishes, Belle
  9. Hi everyone, Thanks so much for your responses. I'm really sorry you all have to deal with this as well, but it does help very much to know I'm not alone. illusion - I feel exactly as you mentioned, that sometimes it's a curse. Many times I don't know how I'll continue to live this way looking ahead at the years, wondering if this will continue or get worse, though I don't know how this anxiety could possibly get worse. I was wondering how you channel your anxiety into creativity? My anxiety seems to stifle my creativity, smothering out nearly every part of me. I am happy for you that you've learned to use the anxiety in a positive manner, that must have taken a great deal of determination & I admire you for that. kleopa - I'm the same way, I used to love reading and enjoying movies but for years have been unable to focus enough to do so. I agree distracting myself with physical activity does help. I am able to exercise some and perhaps should use that as a starting point to develop more focus & distract myself. jkm - I do take klonipin...wonder if ativan would be more helpful? I used to love gardening and baking too! Would spend hours outdoors working in the yard & enjoyed it so very much. I'd like to use this winter to focus on getting the anxiety under relative control so next summer I'll be able to garden again. I'm unable to have children, which contributes to depression, but it also makes it easier for me to sink deeper into anxiety. wolfinlied - I'm so sorry to hear anxiety rules your life. It rules mine as well, at least it has for years and still does. I hope you'll continue to post here and perhaps we can both discover some positive coping mechanisms that will help us overcome it. Thanks so much again, lots of love, Belle
  10. Hi, I'm 32 & have experienced anxiety since childhood. In school I coped with this by becoming a perfectionist in all things, academically, in sports, when my friends had problems I was known as the "fixer", someone who was always there. After college I rapidly declined. I had muscle tension so constantly I was unable to sleep, racing thoughts so severe it was difficult for me to work due to inability to concentrate, the feeling of breathing yet the oxygen seems not to work, severe tension headaches due to the constant tightness of my facial muscles, the complete inability to ever relax, to experience joy or laughter. It feels as if I'm bracing for someone to hit me at any minute my muscle tension is so extreme. These symptoms have persisted & increased for years & now I'm for all intents & purposes unable to function. I spend my days lying on the couch with no reprieve from this anxiety. My question is has anyone experienced anxiety to this extent? I don't have agoraphobia or social anxiety, I actually used to enjoy very much going out with friends, pursuing hobbies etc. It's more of an internal anxiety and I fear it's become so ingrained I'll never be free of it. This is no life, not even a fraction of a life. It feels like a life sentence, feels cruel but I wonder if somehow I unknowingly brought it on myself. I do take cymbalta which has no effect whatsoever, also take klonipin which has a very minimal effect. Any suggestions, ideas, thoughts on how to overcome this would be deeply appreciated. Thanks so very much, best wishes to you all, Belle
  11. Hi WantToHeal, I like your username by the way, and can relate to it, I definitely & desperately want to heal as well. Thank you for taking the time to post your suggestions. For years I've debated going into therapy, and may possibly do so at some point. The fear holds me back, fear of the raw feeling opening old wounds will entail, even though I'm certain in the long run it would be worth it. It's funny you mentioned aerobic exercise, not 10 minutes ago a friend & I were talking of joining a gym! I used to work out quite a bit, long distance running & remember it being beneficial. As for yoga & meditation I've tried so many times, my anxiety is so severe it's impossible for me to relax enough in order to meditate or even sit still for very long, but perhaps in the future I'd be able to accomplish it. Same goes with reading, my thoughts race constantly, I'm unable to even read a paragraph in a magazine, much less a book, but again, I'd be so proud of myself if one day I could. Hehe, caffeine & sugar are definitely a vice of mine, something I can work on for sure! I take absolutely no vitamins...nothing against them, except I was concerned they might actually increase the anxiety. Haven't spoken with my dr about an increase, perhaps that is the next step and a very good suggestion. Thank you ever so much for your reply, best wishes for you, Belle
  12. Hi Deepster, Thank you so much for your reply, I truly appreciate it. I've never tried herbal remedies, like you I've heard they can have disastrous effects when taken in conjunction with AntiD's etc. I'm not closed minded when it comes to alternative therapies, however I live paycheck to paycheck & the financial resources don't exist at present for me to pursue them. I agree with you I've not tried everything by a long shot;) Nor have I given up, yet some days, some months when I can't bring myself to leave the couch I feel myself sinking lower into depression, especially considering the productive life that was once mine, though of course things could be worse and my heart goes out to those who suffer so much more than myself. I'm happy your AD & the clonazepam are working well for you & hope they continue to do so. I actually don't even see a pdoc or a therapist, my former & current gp have treated me, perhaps it's time to take the plunge & go into therapy? Maybe that would help. At any rate, I do thank you for your suggestions & response. All the best to you, Belle
  13. Hi, I've been on Cymbalta 60mgs since Jan. 2009. I'm fortunate it seems to have no no negative side effects for me, but it also seems to have no effect whatsoever. I know it often requires trying many different meds before finding the one which is effective since everyone reacts differently. I am open to switching, trying yet another, but this has become very disheartening to me as I've struggled with depression & anxiety since age 12 (I'm 32 now). I've tried countless Anti'Ds, celexa, zoloft, prozac, & others each in increasing dosages & have yet to find one which has the slightest effect on my depression or anxiety. I've also sought a 2cd opinion, yet both drs are quick to prescribe these AntiD's despite my explanations that they have absolutely no effect whatsoever on my depression or anxiety disorder. The anxiety disorder is far & away the most debilitating for me, it ranks about a 10 & I'd say my depression is more along the lines of a 3 or 4 on a 1-10 scale. I explain this to my drs & they insist these AntiD's are helpful for anxiety. I'm sure they are for some people but they aren't for me. I do take klonipin 1mg twice per day which is somewhat helpful. It's difficult for me to convey to my drs the extent of my anxiety disorder. They are all in agreement I have one, however they fail to realize the anxiety is preventing me from leading anything even approaching a functional life. My question is...is there anything I might be able to say to my drs to convey these AntiD's so far have simply been useless for me? My insurance does not cover medications & I'm becoming disheartened by drs prescribing these meds, telling me how absolutely wonderful they are for anxiety, then I take them & still it is difficult for me to perform even the most basic tasks since I'm so tense, keyed up, distracted, agitated, feeling like I might burst out of my skin at any moment, not to mention the muscle tension which is so severe it causes pain. Are there some people for whom AntiD's simply do not work? And if so does anyone have any experience in alternatives? Thank you so much for taking the time to read. I'd deeply appreciate any responses, best wishes, Belle
  14. hey Belle, its been ages since I saw you, just wanna say hi! hope youre ok! hugs from Evin

  15. hey belle, just passing through...haven'tbeen on in quite a while...hope everything's ok and you are well...take care!


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