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komorebi

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About komorebi

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    Female
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    whyyyyy was my profile saying I'm male for a while??
  1. Has anyone seen Inside Out yet? I've seen some quotes from the director that are pretty flippant towards depression and derisive of people on medication, so I'm kinda worried about how they're going to handle the "Sadness" character in the film.
  2. "Komorebi" is a Japanese word for the sunlight that filters through trees.
  3. My new/former (bad experience) pdoc put me on 100mg (with 5mg Abilify), and I don't know that it's making much of a difference yet, at least I haven't had any side effects!
  4. 1. Anyone who's primarily concerned with your physically appearance probably isn't someone you want to be with. 2. BMI is BS. - " The person who dreamed up the BMI said explicitly that it could not and should not be used to indicate the level of fatness in an individual. The BMI was introduced in the early 19th century by a Belgian named Lambert Adolphe Jacques Quetelet. He was a mathematician, not a physician. He produced the formula to give a quick and easy way to measure the degree of obesity of the general population to assist the government in allocating resources. In other words, it is a 200-year-old hack." 3. Healthy IS NOT dependent on your size, so don't listen to anyone who uses "health" to justify their preference for normalized (and often unhealthy) standards of beauty. (I don't care what you prefer, just don't give it the guise of worrying about someone's health) 4. Ingest body positive media. Look up The Militant Baker, Curvy Fashionista, or there's ooooodles of folks on tumblr. 5. My main advice in most any situation: It's your business, and anyone who doesn't like it can f*** right off.
  5. I can relate with this far too well... Given how others have chimed in on this and similar threads, I'm beginning to think being "full of potential" is enough to make anyone depressed.
  6. Yes, congrats on taking two big steps for yourself! That does sound like depression to me, personally, although I thought most Docs tried other anti-depressants before going to Effexor. How was your first therapist session, did you get some good feedback?
  7. I had terrible dreams as well, really terrible I-don't-want-to-sleep-anymore dreams, but I did find that they went away eventually.
  8. Has anyone else had jaw pain when going off Effexor? I tapered down and had my last a week ago, but I've had awful jaw pain/headache the past few days. It's been an off and on problem since I started Effexor, but this is some of the worst I've dealt with. Nothing helps and I can't stand the thought of any more days of this :(
  9. I think it is, as with most meds/side effects, your mileage may vary, but speaking for myself, it did nothing but get worse. I can't even remember the last time I slept through the night at this point. Thank the gods that I get to see a new doc next week about a med change!
  10. I got on DF tonight just to see if anyone else was talking about similar problems! I'm realizing only recently that this is an issue for me. I had a really bad spell, crying non-stop, sleeping worse than usual, etc, etc, then woke up a few days ago suddenly feeling better than I had in a while, and discovered it was ye olde time of the monthe. I do get pretty bad cramps for the first day or two, tiredness, but the mental symptoms are greatly abated. I was always pretty lucky when it came this stuff, maybe a whisper of irritability the day before I started, but that was it. neurotic_lady89, have you started taking any magnesium or b-vit supplements?
  11. I think this has to be the toughest part of my recent depression low. Wanting, or not, to create is irrelevant, it simply isn't there. As though all of it has been scooped out of me. I wasn't always like this. I've been dealing with depression for 20+ years, and I've still been able to create. That's always been my "thing", you know? So now that it's gone I feel completely worthless. I mean, this is my source of income, too, so that makes it even worse.
  12. This has recently become a problem for me, too. I used to be a bit irritable the day before my period, at the most. My last, I was extremely irritable four days before, and it continued all through my period, to the point of barely being able to move, and wishing I could curl up and die.
  13. Thanks for such a kind reply. I posted right before I had to go out of town for the weekend, which gave me the perfect excuse to get anxiety-ridden and ignore that I had ever posted anything. I had a medication change at the same time - goodbye Wellbutrin, hello Effexor - and I'm doing better on the crippling sadness side of things, but I'm still completely lacking in motivation. And I'm having a lot of jaw pain-->headaches, which isn't helping. I ordered a mouth guard, hoping that helps. It was the first time I'd lost anyone.. We weren't in each other's lives much until he was diagnosed, and I have a lot of regret over that. This is where my step-mom would remind me that he was such a workaholic, that the time we had together was probably as close as we ever could've been. But he acted like I'd never been gone, and called me his favorite person in the world. I realized the other day that I think a lot of my depression right now is my brain going, "Haha! You got that worst possible outcome you were worried about! Clearly we've been right about EVERY BAD THOUGHT EVER!" Then my brain twirls its mustache and ties a girl to some train tracks. I have my first (ever) appointment with a counselor next Thursday. I am conversely nervous and relieved.
  14. I don't think I have any that constructive to add, but I do have to say that I sympathize. Many a time I've thought that brainy only child + homeschooling is probably enough to screw up anyone's brain.
  15. I'm new to the forum, I'm trying to find more places of support right now. I've struggled with depression since I was 11 (aaaand I just realized that's 2/3rds of my life.... how... depressing. ;p). I've been on an assortment of meds over the past 6-7 years, and I've been somewhat stable with them, but I've completely fallen apart over the past few months. My father died in June, and, well, the amount of piled on that situation is beyond an intro post, but has dragged me down to someplace darker than any in recent memory. I'm a crying mess all the time. I have no energy or motivation. My business is in the toilet, and even though I have the chance for something I've been working towards forever, I can't even bring myself to reply to an email about it - I just don't care any more. I fight to get to sleep at night, then I can't stand the thought of getting out of bed in the morning. I can't focus on even the smallest task. I don't want to see anyone. I just don't know what to do any more. Even if I'm "ok" for a while, I'm always going to be on the edge of feeling like this again, so what's the point? I'm so tired of being me.
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