Right now I feel about powerless to change my situation regarding my weight. I am making slow progress in other areas but I have had a horrible time trying to keep my eating habits under control. For about 4 days I was doing a great job of eating right and exercising and then everything just fell apart. I lost and gained a pound in the course of seven days, highly discouraging. I wish I could get myself out of the house more often but I cannot drive yet and don't have a bicycle or anything so I am stuck at home most of the time with my negative thoughts and I usually treat that with food unfortunately. Falling off the wagon has been me in a huge rut. I slept through the last 3 or 4 days and messed up my circadian rhythm up again so I struggle to sleep at night and stay up throughout the day. Spending Halloween alone shot up my spirits as well. I really need to find a job of some sort to help occupy my time because being stuck at the house all day is horribly unhealthy for me. Not only that but even a crappy job would be a big help towards me keeping my finances in order. I had paid off a small portion of my credit card debt but ended up eating it all away by grabbing meals at local restaurants. Now I have doctors appointments and medication to pay for and my bills are coming up yet again. I can't blame anyone but myself for my inability to control my spending, I think I need to start just carrying a small amount of spending money with me and keep the card at home because I always manage to spend more than I originally intended when I have it on me. Well, its November first so I guess I have another opportunity to start over and have a positive month for a change. I am just sick of always falling so short of what I want to do and falling back into my old habits over and over again.