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About afriendtoyou

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  1. I just wanted to say that the last few weeks have been a real challenge but there have been good developments. I’ve met some nice new folks, have done things with my existing friends, and have taken care of myself. Things are looking up. There will be tough times but I’m doing much better. Thanks to those of you who reached out. My problems are minor compared to what so many on these boards are facing but it’s nice to have folks who will listen.
  2. I appreciate your advice. It's a combo of a lot of things that's giving me pain right now. I think I'm probably too hard on myself and expect too much from my friends at the same time. They are good friends and have been there during tough times in the past. Basically, I'm just in pain and want to scream but I can't, so I'm screaming here on the forums.
  3. Thanks for the advice. Weirdly, I was friends with most of these folks before my wife was, so it's not exactly like I'm just tagging along with her friends. But I am going to try to find other friends too.
  4. I am 40 and happily married. I've had depression for many years, and I have managed it fairly well. Lately, though, I have felt like a second tier friend, and it hurts. I have friends. I hang out with our friends when my wife gets a group text from her girlfriends saying that everyone is going out. But I usually feel like I'm not completely wanted there. I am obese: I'm 6-1, 300 pounds. I'm also sometimes quiet, so I think I get forgotten about a lot. I try to reach out and host things and stuff. I sometimes get included, but it feels like I have to chase down people to see what's going on. I rarely get texts just saying, "Hey, we're going out if you and your wife want to join us." It's a weird sixth sense that I'm not wanted, and depression doesn't help it. I'm just in pain and I want people to know. My wife knows and some family members know, but my friends don't know. I'll probably keep it from them for now. But I'm in pain and feel like screaming. That's why I'm posting here. It's my way of screaming, even if you don't know me personally. I am in such pain. Thanks for listening. I am going to work on being more sociable. I think I'm a nice and sociable guy, but I'm going to try to be more proactive in making my friendships better. I've lost about 45 pounds too. I have a great wife and loving family, so I'm lucky in many, many ways. But it still hurts feeling left out and forgotten by friends. I am in pain.
  5. Hey Bluetree; I don't think I saw your other post. I'd respond to all posts if I could, but it is impossible, obviously. It doesn't mean no one on here doesn't care. As you can see from this thread, lots of people here do care. First thing, you have depression, and one thing depression does is makes you look badly at yourself. I doubt you are a "hideous" looking person. I know many people who look perfectly fine who have low images of themselves. That's depression talking and possibly jerks in their lives giving them low self-esteem. Secondly, I don't view anyone as "hideous" looking. Yeah, there are some shallow people out there who judge people on looks alone, but in my experience they are a pretty small minority. I judge myself harshly sometimes, but I reserve judgment on others and never judge due to looks alone. Just know that there are lots of people out there that feel the same way I do.
  6. I started Viibryd about 3 weeks ago in conjunction with wellbutrin in the morning. I had been on wellbutrin/zoloft for a while. Anyway, the Viibryd worked great for a couple of weeks. I was feeling normal again. However, I went on a trip during Christmas break and for about a week I got a little off schedule. I had been taking it around 7:00 AM but due to a new sleep schedule I started taking it around 9 or 10. The holidays were a bit stressful too, and now I'm feeling a bit low again. I'm worried that it's pooping out. I am back to taking it at 7:00, so hopefully that will get me back on track. I had been experiencing diarrhea the last few days, but that has gotten better today, which makes me optimistic. Has anyone else had similar issues?
  7. Yes, I think most of us with depression relate to this. I had a bad episode several months ago and it's been tough ever since. Fortunately I've had some good days here and there, and I'm hopeful that I can just start living life again. Having these forums has really helped. Things will get better for us.
  8. I absolutely sympathize with not wanting to watch the news. I watch it sometimes, especially when it's local stories about positive things happening in the community. But yeah, it gets too much sometimes to see some of the bad things happening in the world. I say this as something of a news junkie, but there's nothing wrong with tuning it out when it gets to be too much.
  9. I think you will recover from this. Make no mistake: you haven't "failed." You just haven't achieved your goal YET. And there's nothing wrong with setting new and different goals either if you decide to do that eventually. I think all of us have been at spots in which we think life will never get better, but it will. Look at all of the people who "failed" who went on to do great things. I know lots of successful people, and, if you get to know them well enough, all of them "failed" at some point. We're all pulling for you!
  10. That really sums up a lot of what I feel. I think a lot of us (myself included) set up impossibly high standards for ourselves and beat ourselves up when we fall short. But at the end of the day, we're just people who genuinely try to do good.
  11. We're all pulling for you. I thought you might like to know that I've had a really good week; I started a new medication and it seems to be working. Just 2 weeks ago I was hitting rock bottom and now I'm feeling, you know, normal. Obviously I'm hoping this lasts, but for the first time in months, I've had an extended period of not being miserable. Things can and will get better.
  12. Please, please don't. It gets to where it seems hopeless for me too sometimes. But good things will come to us. Please contact your doctor and consider looking into the resources at http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/forum/2-suicide-help-please-read-this/ . I really think this post is great: . It's exhausting, I know. I have been to the point where it seemed hopeless. But hope is there, and you will get better.
  13. I am going to force myself to exercise today. I had a bad episode in July and I have been slowly recovering since. I had been exercising before my episode, and I am going to try and force myself to get back on it.
  14. SFChristiangirl, we're all thinking about you and pulling for you. Things will get better for you. I hope you keep us posted.
  15. This is an inspiring post and thread. In a way, my depression has caused me to think about those who are less fortunate in our society. I have been volunteering at the local homeless shelter, and it really does feel good. I'm not a very political person, but I do wish that we would take care of each other more by volunteering, looking out for our neighbors, and stepping outside of our comfort zones a little more.
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