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About JoanaRiviera

  • Birthday 12/01/1991

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    reading, writing, studying, learning

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  1. My 36-year-old aunt is mentally handicapped and I have to babysit for all her needs, so I know what it's like. Also, my mom is a frustrating person herself to deal with. She has the brain of a 9-year-old and she likes to enforce her immaturity on other people. It gets annoying. Also, she has a multitude of disorders and passed all those cursed genes to me so you can tell my life is already a living -----. I'm pretty much sacrificing my life just to make hers better. It's miserable and I hate it, but I can't do anything about it. God just likes to curse some people, and make others lives better. I don't know why he does that, but it's really screwed up.
  2. You do!? Well that's something interesting! Two people on here so far who do two similar things that I do, funny! What music tracks from video games do you listen to? I know it's going to sound queer, but some of my favorites have always been tracks from Breath of Fire III, Lunar Silver Star Story, Final Fantasy VII (and its other series), and from the PC game RAMA. And as I already mentioned to someone else on here, the music from the Sims game was excellent.
  3. I want to revise #2 in my list...I want for a friend of mine to be healthy. She's been through utter hell already. It's nice to hear that you expect happiness for someone else other than yourself. I can tell that you're a very kind and giving person. I too would like the same for every person on this forum and anyone else who may be undergoing depression. After being on here for a while and listening to all the stuff people have to say, it makes me realize that there are many others just like me who also suffer from just as bad, if not worse, conditions than mine. And seeing to that makes me realize how much help these people need. I see what the problem is now. Most of these people just don't have anyone to talk to and share their problems with. Loneliness and solitude is what's shattering their lives and constantly dragging them down to a ditch. What everyone on here needs is that "one ray of hope" to get them back on their feet and climb their way up those 'ditch walls.' But what that would require is some optimism and the participation of many other people. What many people don't understand is that depression is almost contagious. Now I'm not saying that it's a 'bad thing' at all - but it seems to be a serious problem that many people on here are having trouble and dying to get out of, but for whatever reason can't. To get out of depression takes a LOT of hard work and strong mental capabilities. People will simply have to let the past go and continue living with a positive mindset and looking at bad situations as not being "bad" but actual learning experiences. Today at afternoon class, I got bullied (yet again) for my disorder. But I did NOT in any way let it affect me - I took it as being a learning experience. "What did I do to get my bullies to pick on me, and how can I alternate their mind to think otherwise?" I had to think that way, I had to diagnose the problem on my own (because obviously no one's going to TELL me since I'm already an adult and should be able to make my own decisions) so within a snap I took several breaths, calmed down, and smiled it off like it was a joke. Long story short - I did not let bad situations get to me. Being embarrassed and depressed about my shameful disorder would only make matters worse. Somehow, people like to pick on the weak. This is something I learned. To get out of that thick shell of sadness, you have to be strong, look at the world around you and say to all your fears, "F you, because I'm living for myself and MY happiness - BUH-BYE!"
  4. Hm, you seem to have a lot of problems going on here. And it seems like your biggest problem is constantly comparing yourself to your peers, which I'll agree, can tremendously bring a person down. And I can wholesomely relate because I've always been a very envious person, mostly because I was different and had a multitude of abnormal disorders. I was not like other kids which constantly led me to being bullied, teased, and avoided. I learned through the hard way of life and grew to detest humanity. That's when I gave up on achieving the "normal life." There was never anybody for me to impress since I knew I wasn't liked anyway, so I lived for all that made me happy. Somehow I found happiness through knowledge and getting to know more about this world. I could never understand how people can give up on this life so easily. There is so much to learn in this universe, yet people stupidly sacrifice it all in the name of sex, love, drugs, and all that is vile. I could never get that. Why must we constantly compare ourselves to our peers? Why do we have to get boyfriends and girlfriends simply because our peers have them? What do we have to impress by "scoring and getting laid?" Why does it effect people so much when they get bullied, teased, and joked at? I guess for people like me, who deal with these situations on a day to day basis, I easily let it all go like it was nothing. Bullying does not mean anything to me anymore. If at all, I actually like it when people bully and pick on me. It sounds outrageous - but there is something to "bullying" that is actually beneficial. Bullies are usually there to pick on you and almost in a way, make you stronger. Like the saying goes, "What kills me only makes me stronger." And they're not ultimately to blame - bullies mostly point out your wrongs for you in a mocking way because they can't say it to you, as it's not their job, but mostly your parents. Also as I'm reading your post, I find it confusing how someone like you can have problems with girls? You seem like a normal, problemless person who has a job, and sounds very laid-back. You even mention having friends. Everything that you have, I don't have. Yet I would never give up on life so easily because there is so much to gain from this world. I want to be more intelligent, I want to get more involved with science and nature, and earn enough money to go out, travel, and visit space museums and car shows. How can you just easily give up on life like that? That is so hard to believe. It seems like there is something inhibiting you from doing and getting what you want. If it doesn't hurt to ask, why do you think girls have turned you down?
  5. I feel like happiness contributes to a lot of factors in which money can and can't buy. I'm sure we're all aware of the recent case with Robin Williams (my heart goes out to the lovable fellow). He seemed pretty well-off but somehow took his own life because he mentioned being "depressed." Now I don't know about many people, but personally I feel like if I was rich, a lot of my problems would go away. Since most of my problems stem from countless disorders I have that would require sufficient money to fund for medical care, which I don't have. On the other hand, I come from a pretty good-standing family (with a bit of ups-and-downs), but compared to those of lower-class than me, I am a much unhappier person. I've always had the belief that money really can't buy happiness, as I've constantly seen those poorer than me living more joyful lives that I could never have. But that was because I was born with a multitude of disorders which got me bullied, teased, and disgusted, even with my own self. There are those who are poorer than me that are much happier people, but that is because they don't suffer from any kind of disorder that would ruin their lives. So in a way, happiness can stem from many factors. If I was richer now, I would probably be a bit more happier since I would finally get the money to cure all my disorders and say "BUH-BYE!" to them. Although I would admit, past situations can sometimes be hard to get over and can get you feeling really upset sometimes. But if you're a strong person and let all that B.S. 'fly by' - you're well on your way to happiness:) This is my personal moral on life: "What happened yesterday is past. Tomorrow is a new day. Time to Change."
  6. This is a very interesting thread you created here. I have always been interested in people who find no meaning in life and always feel 'aimless.' I personally feel like there's SO much to see and do in this world but because of 'internal obstacles,' we are inhibited from doing anything we want and subconsciously desire. I personally suffer from a multitude of terminal illnesses which have been obstructing the way I 'wanted' my life to be - which was a happy, normal human being who goes out traveling, dining at fancy restaurants, and seeing and exploring the vast world. I desire so much in this universe, I want to achieve ultimate knowledge, maybe even surpass the 'smartest' human beings and geniuses on the face of the planet - but it takes a lot of work, reading, knowledge and experience. The reason why people are depressed and aimless is usually because they have nothing to do. "Video gaming" is an escapism because it gets you to 'do something' in a virtual world which you couldn't do in reality. It gets you on your feet... mentally although. I found my 'escapism' through watching a lot of cartoon shows online back when I was a terribly depressed teen. It was all I could do to raise my spirits but it somehow made me feel sadder than I was because it reminded me of a happiness that I couldn't achieve reflected from the show. It took me seven years to pick up on my life after my parents owned a business that required me to become wholesomely active physically and socially. I was completely unstable to work but forced effort got me to doing it and I've actually improved (and changed) a lot since then. Getting out more, rather than being at home all the time, is what drags people out of depression. I hope you find it in yourself to enjoy something about this life that makes you happy.
  7. Well I hope this thread did anything to brighten up your mood Dolphin. We all need some spark of optimism, and this is what I intended to do with this thread. It sort of made me feel better thinking about the stuff I love, and I wanted to get that feeling out of other people on here as well. And it's nice to hear all the interesting things people have to say on here that makes them happy. I noticed that most people have pointed out coping with pain, solitude, and loss. Hopefully, people will come to realize that they can't live with pessimism for all eternity and letting it continue to shatter their lives. We need to learn to stand up and be the ones to start taking and voicing some action - for the sake of our own well-being and for OUR own happiness. I know pain is impossible to cope with, but we must find a way to workaround it. We are all given a 100-year life expectancy to live on this bountiful planet (although life expectancy seems to be more at 60 or so years, and even less). And it's time we start wiping those frowns off our faces and face the world as new and better beings. Depression must be a thing of the past. We only continue to live by it because we choose to live by it. That's something that took me 12 years to figure out. I hope others will come to that realization and 'wake-up' themselves. I would like for this to be a better world, but to do that it will take the participation of other people. I hope you were able to 'wake-up' a more happier side of you Dolphin. You can do it, as well as everybody else. You are all such wonderful people on here:).
  8. The decorating was the best part yet! Lol I remember making neighborhoods with completely different themes ranging from a freakish and colorful 'Wacko Town' to 'Edo Japan' and to a 'Futuristic Universe 2099'! Wow... I melt with happiness just thinking about my it.
  9. Thanks! I made this thread in an effort to brighten up the "gloominess" around here by getting people to bring out their more happier, wishful side. Hope it did anything for anybody lol. And I somehow like your list - it sounds both reasonable and points out a lot of relatable stuff. I agree with #3. I personally don't suffer from student loans, although my brother does. He has to pay a incredulous $90,000-something dollars in loans. I couldn't believe him when I heard it. I just hope he's able to pay it all back. And wow, #4 somehow made me think of that old movie "My Dog Skip," - I could NOT stop crying even after the ending; it was SO freakin' sad. Animals, especially dogs, really can be the most lovable companions on Earth. As for #6 - wow high five - I have serious issues with picking my skin; it's such an odd habit that I can't get to stop. I just always feel like I have to pick something out and examine it - so weird; I think it's the odd curiosity of weird things that peaks my interest. I'm a weird person anyhow. And wow, so much to relate with in your list! I completely agree with #10; although butterflies, beetles, dragonflies, and ladybugs are an exception. The mosquitos, slimy buggers, and every other creepy crawler can GO!
  10. You can make many friends on here. You just have to engage in other people's posts and respond other topics. People will easily reply to you on here. Everyone's very friendly and supportive.
  11. TMJ issues really can be such a huge bother. Which explains why I plan to get into the medical field once I go back to college next year. I want to be able to know more about my health and being able to diagnose my own problems without the need of constant doctor visits, which so far have done absolutely NOTHING for me. Sometimes I question whether my physicians are really doing their jobs, nonetheless know WHAT they're even doing. Most of the time they can't even seem to provide an answer to any of my problems and prescribe me with medication that don't seem to do anything. I'm also sorry to hear that you're a victim of this mad disease as well. I'm not sure what your problem with TMJ is, but I've managed to only 'temporarily' fix my annoying clicking sounds by drinking large amounts of warm water daily, engaging in physical exercise to 'force out' the cracking sounds, and sometimes cleaning out my earwax because I feel like the sound might also come from there.
  12. THE SIMS! That has always been my game sister! I loved building the houses and buying tons of fancy furniture - SO much fun. (And pestering the h*ll out of my Sims by making them do stuff that annoyed the h*ck out of them!). And I absolutely loved the piano music in the first Sims game, I'd sit there for hours just to listen to them. Ahh... such succulent memories. You made my day:D
  13. You sound just like me 10 years ago when I was 12. I had a friend (not mentioning her name) who ended her relationship with me as well. She was the very first best friend I had and she meant more to me than even a sister. And I know what you mean by having that one-kind-of-a-friend that just "clicks." It's really hard to come across those kinds of friends anymore. It's almost like they share this special kind of bond with you that's hard to get with other people. I became highly depressed when she moved away to another state. It's still hard to get her out of my head but I can't live with it forever. I'm a grown-up now, 22, and I should learn to face tougher challenges in the real world. There are more important things to think about in life and newer friends can always be made. I find that with every loss, there will always be a gain - you just have to take that chance to grab at it. I personally have zero friends for over 8 years already - I've lost all mine because of depression caused by my disorder. I've realized overtime that friends don't mean everything to me. I look for ultimate knowledge now. When I do feel like I need to socialize, honestly, I just go to omegle.com for my social craves. The people on depressionforums.org (here) are also very great, engaging people to talk with. Everyone here is nice and encouraging and can relate their own personal issues. You can easily make friends with people on here.
  14. I'm not scared to admit anything. I don't even know why, but I have terrible issues with bad breath LOL and honestly it is RUINING MY LIFE. It's the reason why I dropped out of college last year and why I was too scared to go back again this year. It's extremely hard to cope with. I'm not a bad person, people don't hate me. They just find me unlikable because of my serious breath issues. It's like once I open my mouth, my classmates start poking their heads down and just nodding to everything I say like they don't want to offend me or something. I can't blame them for behaving the way they do either. But it's SO annoying! I had to take afternoon classes today and we had to talk - the worst thing ever! My partner kept poking her head down uncomfortably and some other people around me kept intentionally making loud "AHEM-ing" sounds and one rude girl just whispered to her friend about me having "bad breath" and they were laughing amongst each other. God it's so frustrating! I never wanted this issue but for whatever reason WOW I just HAD to have it. I just don't get why God chooses to curse the smart ones. Someone who has so much aims, goals, and thinks about the technological advancement of the country, and in improving medicine and science. Wow. Just why. Why me. FML.
  15. That's weird. I actually want to get AWAY from my family. But I can't because my family's poor and my mom has serious health issues that requires me to work for her. And I'm interested in knowing why you're sad and scared? I would personally love to have privacy all to myself. I hate my own life, living with my family. Being out and alone makes me feel independent. What would scare me about living alone though, are people who would intimidate me for being a midget (I'm 4'11) and for my annoying swallowing disorder which I ultimately HATE HATE HATE myself, which explains why I've made ZERO friends all my life. I am also freakishly scared as h*ll over nighttime... pedophiles... perverts... and rapists... *shivers* sorry I had to point that out derpytia:(. I can see why you'd be scared, god I would.
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