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Dstar894

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  1. I have found a few depression support groups in my area and was wondering what kind of experiences people have had with them. I think I am nervous to go as I don't really like meeting new people and it would be hard to talk with them openly. Thank you in advance!
  2. I notticed the same thing,I figure out in my senior year of college that I am not that smart compared to the average college student i seem to have to study 2 or 3 times as much just to get a b or a in my classes and other people make it seems like they just study for a few hours and just get straight A in everything.I don,t think your stupid if your in grad school maybe just disinterested. I guess in things that I am interested in I still struggle to truly excel in them like others do.
  3. Thanks for the response! I feel the exact same way about everything being so difficult and taking so much energy. I think I have just totally given up on the hope of anything good with how crappy everything seems to be in the world today. I have not seen that movie, I will have to check it out. Thank you and best of luck.
  4. Hmm I don't even know where to begin.... I recently graduated from graduate school and have basically fallen to pieces since. One thing I struggle with is that I am not really good at anything. I mean yeah there is a few things I am decent at but I have never really mastered anything (even what I went to school for). This got me thinking about my education and way of learning. I am trying to figure out if I am actually intelligent but just haven't found the right thing, if I am dumb and have to accept this fact, or if I am just lazy and need to buckle down. I can remember to back when I was first starting school, teachers told me I was different and I can even remember going to see a psychologist. I don't remember them giving me any conclusive answer but a lot of the problem surrounded me not wanting to do school work. I just did not really like to read and did not really like math. When I got to high school I had a very lax attitude and really did not have any desire to go to college. I did take the SAT and did just average but the process of taking the SAT was very grueling. Like to sit down and concentrate was almost mentally painful if that makes sense. I did well in college but again when it came time to study for the GRE it felt very labored. When talking with friends they seemed to have a different experience in that they felt the subject matter was hard but the actual process of thinking wasn't so grueling. I find that I don't really enjoy puzzles or games where you have to use your mind. It is just a really uncomfortable feeling for me to "think." For example, there are people who love playing with a rubiks cube for fun. I personally hate playing with a rubiks cube and it feels like work for me to use it. So I guess I have noticed a trend that anytime I have to utilize my brain to think about something I tend to find this to be a very tedious task and by default not much fun. Is this normal? I mean I personally feel like I am of a reasonable level of intelligence but when I talk with other people about their experiences of learning I feel that I might not be and need to accept this and try to find a job that does not require as much intelligence. What do you think? Thank you in advance
  5. Honestly this is exactly how I feel. I sometimes spend all day just doing a few small tasks where before I was able to do much more.
  6. Thank you for the advice. I definitely agree that life has its ups and downs and before I was able to manage these with out falling into a depression. Now I am basically hopeless. I hated the degree that I went to school for but the internship was in a different field that somewhat allowed me to use my degree hence why I liked it so much. The job prospects for my degree are very small and plus I hate it so things don't really look good from that aspect. I guess I am just having a hard time getting interested in anything, I just don't see a point of even expending effort to only fail again. Also, I read alot that people say keep trying or you can do anything you put your mind to and I just can't help but think that that is wrong. For example, someone who might only be 4 feet tall could probaly not play in the NFL. So just sort of trying to figure out how to come to terms with failure.
  7. About a year ago i was in grad school and really wanted a specific internship. I had worked very hard up until then and would say at that point I was the best that I had ever been. I felt very confident about my chances. After the interview I found out that I didn't make it. This absolutely crushed me and was probably one of the few times I have cried in my life. After finding this out I gave up on school and essentially coasted through the rest without caring how I did. Once I got done I basically sat around doing nothing until my parents made me get a job. I did this for a little while until I recently quit and am now doing the same thing as before. I just literally don't care about anything. I am perfectly content sitting around all day doing nothing. This doesn't make me bored. I guess I had a connection in my mind that hard work equaled success and from my experience in grad school that connection was broken. Plus I will never be better than when I was in grad school so I just don't really see the point in trying any more. I have failed.
  8. I can completely sympathize with you. I haven't really been able to find a job that I enjoy working and feel like I am just floating through life with no specific purpose. I have tried medication and therapy to no avail. So I'm sorry I can't provide you with any advice but hope things work out for you!
  9. While I definitely agree that everyone suffers from something in their life, I find that other people are better able to deal with these situations and live their life. I on the other hand am barely functional. I have seen two therapists and 1 psychiatrist which has not been very helpful. Just don't really see myself getting back to "normal". Things just knock me down now and keep me down.
  10. I attended a party the other night and I realized how screwed up I am. Looking around me I saw people laughing having fun and talking to eachotjer. So full of happiness and life. And just sitting there it made me realize how far gone I am. I could barely talk to anyone and even carry on a conversation. I have no interests in anything no ambitions. The whole experience just made me realize I don't think I will ever get back to a stage of just living and enjoying life.
  11. Was heading down a very bad path and falling into some pretty bad depression. Made some major life decisions to derail myself from this path and hopefully get my life going in the right direction again. I can definitely say the depression is gone but I wouldn't necessarily say that I am happy. I don't know if I was expecting more I just feel like now although not depressed I am left with an emptyness and I am just sort of floating along. I worked for some goals in the past and failed and I just don't really see what the point in trying anymore is. I put in my best effort and failed. So I just can't get myself motivated again because I look at it like I put in my all and it still wasn't good enough so why try again on something else? Just feel like I have absolutely given up on life all together.
  12. I started to see a dr who prescribed me medication and everything went well for the first month. After this I started having some major side effects. I called and asked for advice on what to do and was essentially blown off. How should I handle this?
  13. Hi Groot, I had a similar situation happen to me and decided to break off all contact with my friend. You definitely have a right to feel hurt and mad. However, over time once I got over those feelings I found that holding a grudge was actually causing me more pain than just letting it go. I have a hard time with seeing people as totally good or totally bad. I have tried to force myself to see people as both. So maybe try to think of all the good things that your friend has done. Goodluck, things will get better!
  14. Thanks for the great response! So is how I am feeling what "normal" people feel like? Or is this an enhanced level of alertness to get me out of depression and drop back down to what is"normal"?
  15. It wasn't until I was prescribed Wellbutrin that I realized that it was NRI. After researching what this is I am a little bit worried. It would seem to me that have high levels of norepinephrine in your system would tire you out. If you are always in fight or flight mode I would think this is very taxing on the body
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