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About feellikeitwontend

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  1. Every single thing I do i second guess myself. Its to the point where I contribute nothing in meetings and conference calls because I'm afraid of saying something stupid. I'm constantly just thinking I'm headed for ruin, both financially and emotionally. I'm the sole earner with two kids and the constant pressure to not get fired is overwhelming. Not sure how to get out of this mindset.
  2. Just wondering who else is on multiple meds like I am. Paxil 40mg Wellbutrin 450mg Abilify, dosage unknown at the moment
  3. I'm so conflicted right now about how my life is going. Work is giving me tons of opportunity but I continue to wonder when it will all come crashing down as it has so many times in the past. I have no one to explain this to at home - it's just too hard for my wife to understand what we go through.
  4. Why is today the last peaceful day? Sorry, haven't been following the thread, if you've already stated why earlier.
  5. It's decriminalized in my state, so it's a fine like a parking ticket.
  6. Are you happy doing it? I shouldn't talk, but if you're happy, keep doing what you're doing.
  7. Pretty excited to say I've landed my next job, making far more than I was previously. Certainly does wonders for the mood!
  8. Thanks folks for the kind words. I just don't know what to do next.
  9. In a very high income sales role/industry, have now been given my walking papers for the 3rd company in 5 years. My depression just keeps getting in the way of performance and at this point I'm not sure i'm even hireable again. No one is going to hire a job hopper like me in my industry. My career is over, i'm going to lose my house and my family will be on the street. Unsure what to do now......
  10. HA, the forum just changed the word w - e - e - d to garden shrub. Given that it's now 2017 and is legal in a bunch of states, as freely as alcohol, I think we need to back off the overly cautious censoring. Changed title to Illegal Drug from mary jane too. jeez.
  11. 40mg paxil, 5mg abilify, 450mg wellbutrin. These things in combination seem to help, but the one thing that truly puts me in a good mood, am happy, funny, fun, loving, caring, is smoking garden shrub. Vaping, smoking, ingesting, all different ways, but I love it and it's what has really kept my mood on the plus side.
  12. I'll just address the job - how long have you been on that job and how long in sales? Was there a time you loved sales?
  13. Is there just one person that you could confide in?
  14. Happy to say the Abilify seems to have helped me turn a little corner. I still completely hate myself and freely accept I'm an awful human, but now I don't want to drive off a cliff and I feel like getting stuff done all day, in a good way.
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