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unordinary

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  1. Sorry about the divorce, It feels horrible just getting ignored by someone you like so I cant imagine how you feel. I dont seem to care about anything, anymore either, well maybe just my family. I cant bring my self to do things because it just seems so pointless. I know its hard to tell friends , I havent told anyone. Mostly because the front I put on is of a happy person and thats the person they care about, not this feeble excuse for a human being. Maybe thats how you feel.. right now im feeling really jealous of the people lying peacefully in the ground.
  2. Depression makes you push people away because you think your not good enough but you know what, YOU ARE MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH. Sorry about your dad and holly.Bad relationships seem to be a major cause of depression , I think once you realise it wasnt because of you that your parents relationship ended then you can move on and stop pushing other people away.As for forgiving yourself for it, I think you were in a way trying to protect the people you push away, because you deem yourself unworthy.I think thats pretty noble thing, and it should be easier to forgive if you look at it that way. Im not really coping with depression right now , I have this weird feeling in my stomach like my whole world has just fallen apart. It could jusy be gas though. Anyway I always try to think of happy things, happy songs, surround urself with nice people, always try to find postives even in bad things. sorry if this doesnt make sense, or sounds really stupid. Hope it helps.
  3. i find putting the blanket over my head and letting only my face poke out makes me feel really save, even though im not. maybe like when children think youve dissapeared when you cover their eyes. ear plugs could help or, listening to music to drown out noises, thinking happy thoughts, reassuring yourself there is nothing bad happening by talking out alout to yourself. thats all ive got sorry. There are lots of things, i regret too. where i could have helped people, they pop up somtimes and i feel bad but we cant change the past just learn from it. I think your friend is in a much more peaceful place now so dont worry so much.
  4. Its great that you apsirations for your future! i belive you can do all the things you want to.
  5. Hi, id welcome you to the forum. But it feels weird to welcome people here. I think you have an inferiorty complex, just like me. The number of people applying for jobs, in these places is really high. I think if you try something a little more specialised to what your good at you will have no trouble finding a job. Helping people with their health is a wonderful and fullfiling, and it doesnt matter if your a man, i have great respect for anyone in the field and im sure the majority of people do too. Not everyone can find the person they love easily, they dont just fall into your lap, just dont give up. I wish my friends saw me as the comedian, making people laugh isnt an easy feat. Your not some people, your someone special. Please remember that! things might be looking grimm but once you spend the time whiping away the dirt, they will look bright and shiny. PLEASE, dont leave me behind on this planet. i need to know theyre are people like you out there!
  6. welcome to the forum, it sounds like youve had an extremely hard time. You definetly deserve a break and some happiness. you know what they say you have to get through the bad times to get to the good. I hope your good times are just over the horizon!
  7. i feel sorry for the citizens living inside me, thank god they cant migrate! thank for this you are very epic :)
  8. Interesting journal, i can relate to both you and amy. Very deep go easy on the drugs though.
  9. I worry alot about family memebers too. Not bad enough that I need medication but I know how hard it is to deal with. I hope those, feelings go away. Try thinking about happy things. Sorry i cant help with the medication query.
  10. I think 'Hope' is far more important than pleasure when dealing with depression. There is always hope that one day you may experience pleasure again or if you never have for the first time. Maybe you just havent found the thing or things that give you pleasure. Try different things one day you will find something, there are so many great things out there. The pleasure of someones company, or a the wind brushing against you, a tree swaying in the breeze, songs , wildlife! A life without pleasure is not all together meaningless! Dont focus on it and give it so much emphasis. Hoping you feel pleasure, again soon. :)
  11. I used to play alot of online games for company, now im over them. So i try to help peopl out, truly makes me feel less alone. Read a book , go for a walk, tv, dont go on omegle its full of perverts :I!
  12. Your children wont be better of without you, if you do this to them they will eventually end up here. Like many of the people I have met. Your job is to set them of in the right direction and thats all you can do.Tell them if theyre doing something wrong , or if you dont like the way theyre acting and how it makes you feel.Its not your fault you cant give them the attention they require, but just being there is enough for them. If your husband is abusing you have to tell someone, its not a safe environment for you or your children. If staying with him is not the best thing for you, you have to leave. Your health is the most important thing, work and eveything else comes after, so please have your treatment. family can be hard to deal with , but im sure they are tremendiously proud of you.I hardly even know you and I am . I hope things get better, sorry I couldnt be of more help.
  13. I just distracted myself with a really short walk, its dark outside and it has just rained. So the air smells really fresh and a cold breeze was wafting my body. It instantly made me feel alot better. Thanks for the hug much appreciated. I really wish no one ever had to go through rejection what ever form it may be in,but I think i forgot that others went or are going through it too. I Immediately threw the letter in the bin. Maybe i should have burned it. Atleast now im prepared for more!
  14. I feel exactly like you my fried, except ive never had a job to begin with. But depression and anxiety are definelty holding me back. On the bright side i have come across posts where people have them, but also have great careers! I believe in you,im really sorry to hear about you losing someone dear to you. My family cant bug me because i live in a different country, which i am eternally grateful for lol.
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