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decado

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  1. Like
    decado got a reaction from Epictetus in What Are You Listening To? #2   
    I can’t stop listening to Fake Love by BTS or the cover of Fake Love by Lies Behind Your Eyes. Depending on my mood 🙃
    I don’t know what it is about this song, but it’s so special to me at the moment. 💖
  2. Thanks
    decado reacted to Lady Mozzer in What Are You Listening To? #2   
    Scar Tissue ~ Red Hot Chili Peppers
  3. Like
    decado got a reaction from hocico in What Are You Listening To? #2   
    I can’t stop listening to Fake Love by BTS or the cover of Fake Love by Lies Behind Your Eyes. Depending on my mood 🙃
    I don’t know what it is about this song, but it’s so special to me at the moment. 💖
  4. Like
    decado got a reaction from HopelessRomantic2011 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    I’m sorry you had to go through that! I hope that everyone was ok and your all doing well now, sending you virtual hugs.
    On the CO thing, I just feel so guilty. Because I was so chatty to the other four members and as my friend said I my usual Manchester self! Saying the usual “Hiya Love, how are you?” to the first three members. Then I barely spoke to my CO. Then the singer was really bubbly which took away my nerves again. So I went back to being high on life again. I’m just worried he  noticed and thought I was just rude to him or just didn’t like him. I’m just terrified he’s gone away hating me. I adore that man so much 😢
     
  5. Like
    decado got a reaction from HopelessRomantic2011 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    Hello and hope everyone is doing ok! Thank you all for your lovely messages of support that means a lot. 😘
    I’m still struggling with very mixed emotions about the whole event. We met three bands in total over the weekend, and all the members of each band, I was able to talk with absolutely fine. One band we met on the Saturday is an ultimate favourite of mine and I wasn’t star stuck at all. Also with the other four members of my COs band, I was able to chat perfectly fine with them, even the lead singer (who I have to admit it absolutely gorgeous and he has such a bubbly personality. I can understand why  girls go weak at the knees for him!!😂) But I could barely get any words out with my CO. Which makes me feel so guilty. 
    Anyway I’d just like to apologise for not responding to your replies sooner, we had a car accident the other day and it’s been a nightmare since. 
    Take care everyone! 
  6. Like
    decado got a reaction from musiclover83 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    Thank you so much for your kind words. I will literally chat to anyone who will listen. I surprised myself how well I did manage to talk with the other members and bands. I’ve never met anyone famous before and it was kinda strange seeing them face to face rather than on the telly. But we spoke about normal stuff. They were all so easy to chat with. Except my CO. He must have noticed that I was chat, chat, chat, really quite, then back to chatty again. I didn’t want to scare them or say something stupid so I kept it brief and calm. But I’m worried he might have thought I didn’t like them as much as the others and I feel so guilty.
     
    And just to let you know I will be sending you lots of love and virtual hugs over the next few days. I understand how hard this much be, I’ve been through it. Be strong, keep your mind occupied with other things you enjoy. 
    Feel free to message me if you want to vent or just chat. I’m here to listen. We will all help you get through this. 
    Lots of love and virtual hugs! 🤗🤗🤗🤗
  7. Like
    decado reacted to Hopeful Heroine in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    I love them. It's weird and embarrassing. I was doing okay slowly weening myself off their various social media sites. Recently, I started backsliding into old habits.Instagram is the enemy. It's helps seeing other with the same trouble but it's exhausting.
  8. Thanks
    decado reacted to alliryann18 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    @decado
    So sorry that you were in a car accident! I hope you are doing well. 4 years ago I was in a crash and rollover with our family minivan and it was quite jarring. 
    I'm sure that your CO probably thought you were a charming and bubbly girl. He sees lots of people so I'm sure he thought positively or just neutral of you no matter what. Not negative.
    I thought that he had been curt or dismissive of you from what you'd posted-- and it sounds like that wasn't the case at all. You are probably suffering from the 'letdown' that people experience after meeting their CO's. 
  9. Thanks
    decado reacted to ViceCityKitty in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    Decado,
    I hope you are okay! Car accidents are no joke and very, very scary.  Sending virtual hugs. {{{}}}
  10. Thanks
    decado reacted to musiclover83 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    If it makes you feel any better, I've been there. I've gotten to meet some singers and bands over the years, a few of my former CO's being among them. I usually clam up or say something I think is stupid. Every once in a while I can sort of keep it together and actually chat with them a bit, but that's rare. It helps if it's someone I'm not attracted to because those are the worst for me. And then I've met a couple who were so friendly and warm that they made me feel comfortable. But more often than not I leave a meet and greet mentally smacking myself on the head for not saying anything. I'm so jealous of people who can talk to absolutely anyone! I have a cousin like that. It doesn't matter who they are. She'll meet someone and before too long it's like they've been friends for years. I'd love to be like that.
    Sorry to hear about your car accident! Hope things get better soon. 
     
    Meanwhile, the weekend I've been dreading is here. That wedding I've been worrying about is today. And then my birthday is the 1st. I just want to get it over with. I'll be so relieved to get to Monday! 
  11. Like
    decado got a reaction from musiclover83 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    Hello and hope everyone is doing ok! Thank you all for your lovely messages of support that means a lot. 😘
    I’m still struggling with very mixed emotions about the whole event. We met three bands in total over the weekend, and all the members of each band, I was able to talk with absolutely fine. One band we met on the Saturday is an ultimate favourite of mine and I wasn’t star stuck at all. Also with the other four members of my COs band, I was able to chat perfectly fine with them, even the lead singer (who I have to admit it absolutely gorgeous and he has such a bubbly personality. I can understand why  girls go weak at the knees for him!!😂) But I could barely get any words out with my CO. Which makes me feel so guilty. 
    Anyway I’d just like to apologise for not responding to your replies sooner, we had a car accident the other day and it’s been a nightmare since. 
    Take care everyone! 
  12. Thanks
    decado reacted to ViceCityKitty in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    I am sorry to hear that you felt letdown after meeting your CO.  Oftentimes we have certain expectations when it comes to meeting our COs and more times than not, it isn't what we expected or wanted.  I was on cloud nine after meeting mine but I also felt letdown and depressed because it all happened so fast and we had to part ways.  I hope you felt a little something good when meeting your CO something you can look back fondly on.
  13. Sad
    decado got a reaction from musiclover83 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    Hope everyone is ok. 
     
    I’m so sorry for coming here, I just don’t know where else to turn. So I apologise in advance.
     
    Two weeks ago today. I met my CO and I have regretted doing so ever since. I feel like I have made the biggest fool out of myself and he’s gone away hating me. 
    I’ve felt utterly miserable and worthless ever since. Also to make matters worse the friends I went with have dropped me like a stone. No one will talk with me and I feel more alone than ever. I think this is making everything seem twice as bad.
    I’ve had some extremely dark thoughts during the past two weeks and I’ve never felt so alone. I wish I could turn back time and never have met him. 
     
  14. Like
    decado got a reaction from HopelessRomantic2011 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    Thank you so much @HopelessRomantic2011 & @alliryann18 for taking the time to respond to me. I guess I just feel so isolated. Especially as my friends seem to have vanished. I think the thing that hurts most is I was just a number to him. He forgot me as soon as he met me. 
    I’m still in the process of going over the details. Although the memories are now fading fast. I’m struggling to remember and the more I think the more I can’t remember what happened. 
    I will take what you both have said to me and have a good think about it. I’m just all over the place, I had hoped by now it would have settled, but it feels worse.
    Thank you for taking the time to respond to me 😘
     
  15. Sad
    decado got a reaction from alliryann18 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    Hope everyone is ok. 
     
    I’m so sorry for coming here, I just don’t know where else to turn. So I apologise in advance.
     
    Two weeks ago today. I met my CO and I have regretted doing so ever since. I feel like I have made the biggest fool out of myself and he’s gone away hating me. 
    I’ve felt utterly miserable and worthless ever since. Also to make matters worse the friends I went with have dropped me like a stone. No one will talk with me and I feel more alone than ever. I think this is making everything seem twice as bad.
    I’ve had some extremely dark thoughts during the past two weeks and I’ve never felt so alone. I wish I could turn back time and never have met him. 
     
  16. Sad
    decado got a reaction from HopelessRomantic2011 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    Hope everyone is ok. 
     
    I’m so sorry for coming here, I just don’t know where else to turn. So I apologise in advance.
     
    Two weeks ago today. I met my CO and I have regretted doing so ever since. I feel like I have made the biggest fool out of myself and he’s gone away hating me. 
    I’ve felt utterly miserable and worthless ever since. Also to make matters worse the friends I went with have dropped me like a stone. No one will talk with me and I feel more alone than ever. I think this is making everything seem twice as bad.
    I’ve had some extremely dark thoughts during the past two weeks and I’ve never felt so alone. I wish I could turn back time and never have met him. 
     
  17. Like
    decado got a reaction from HopelessRomantic2011 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support #2   
    Hi, @CrazyinLove welcome back to the forum, sorry it’s not under better circumstances. just reading your post, I can relate to you so much. Ive often asked myself why do I develop crushes on famous people too. I’m still looking for a answer. I’m just like you I get short term crushes that disappear as fast as they started. I do have one CO I’ve had for 25 years now, who I love dearly. I developed a new crush on the 12th January I fell hard and fast for this one! I was hoping he would be a pasting phase but it’s now going into the forth month and the rascal still has me. If your CO is making you happy right now, then I say enjoy it. When the happiness starts to fade, it’s time to make cut backs to save your self from being hurt. You actually helped me understand why I’m able to not over obsess with my CO, when you said that you still enjoy your main COs music even though you have strong feelings for him. So thank you for that. Wow the picture you posted is incredible. I’ve had to save, (hope that’s ok?) it describes me perfectly. Good luck with your journey and your with to pm me anytime.    Hi @TotallyBatty  I think Bluestarr gave you some really good advice. I just wanted to say Hello and your definitely not alone here.    Hello @pervenche Welcome to forum, never apologise for your posts. If we can’t vent here then where can we? Everyone here is lovely and we’re not here to judge you at all. I can relate to you as well. I think (just my opinion) depression and COs are linked in a way. Do you think your COs are helping you feel the things that are missing from your real life? I only ask as I know this is my case. I know how you feel about being interrupted and never meeting them and then getting depressed. I wish I had a magic wand for you, I feel the exact same thing. Have you tried reducing the amount of time you spend thinking of him? Believe I know this is hard, but it might help you a little. Just remember we are all here for you, no judgement, vent as much as you like. Pm me if you want to talk further. You can get there this. Xx 
  18. Like
    decado reacted to perfectcircle77 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support   
    this will be brief because I am on my phone and hate typing long posts on it. I met my CO last night and it was amazing. I ended up with a meet and greet ticket and got to meet all 4 guys. I got hugs from them all, chatted to the other three so easily but was just incapable of talking properly to my CO. But I did get 3 hugs from him and each one felt like a lifetime. I walked away on a complete high and I'm still on it this morning. I am sure once that passes I will be overanalysing and just sad that I had to walk away but I can honestly say meeting him was the best night ever and not something I will ever regret. I could gush for hours but I won't. 
    Hope you are all ok. 
  19. Like
    decado reacted to fabulousrockstar in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support   
    I think I had an epiphany today.
    I checked my new e-mail address to see if Steven had answered me back, and he hadn't.
    I realized that I did everything right. I told him I was sorry, I told him he had been my inspiration for almost 13 years, and I wished him the best of luck in everything. I also gave him an out regarding answering me back. I told him he didn't have to.
    For the first time...I'm actually OK with whatever happens. My conscience is clear. I admitted my wrongdoings and tried to make amends. If he doesn't want to, I'm OK with it. He's too fabulous to put up with drama like me. He deserves better than me. I don't need his approval to make my life better. I can't believe I actually reached this point, and it took a long time getting there. But I made it and it feels pretty darn good.
    Whatever. I'm at peace with the idea that he's nothing more than a sweet fantasy and that the idea of who he is and who he really is are two different people. I deserve to have my fantasy without judgment from myself or others. I'm not going to let the harsh truth distract me from what makes me feel good and sane, nor am I going to let this obsession take over my life like it had done. I'm fine. I hereby set myself free. No longer will he be the main focus of my life, but he will simply be a muse of mine.
    Steven, if you do happen to stumble upon this site, just know that I thank you for being the light I needed in my darkest times. You will always hold a special place in my heart, and I will always respect you and admire you just the way you are. Thank you.
  20. Like
    decado reacted to perfectcircle77 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support   
    Now I'm home I can write a longer post and gush a bit more.
    On Friday morning I was so excited just about going to see the guys perform live and had planned to hang around afterwards to get a selfie and a hug at least. But before we flew, a meet and greet ticket came up at a reduced cost. My husband said he didn't mind if I bought the ticket and he'd just wait around after the show for me. He's a fan of them and the show but didn't want to meet them. I was so nervous from pretty much when I paid for the ticket, my stomach was just doing flips all the time.
    At the start of the show I was a bit worried - there were some jokes about my CO's dating life. Whilst it was funny, at the same time I was thinking I couldn't get through the whole show with these constant references, it was too much. But luckily after a bit about his ex, it wasn't mentioned again so I could just enjoy the show.
    The rest of the show was fantastic - so, so funny. I laughed so hard at one point I couldn't breathe and at the end, the security guard who'd been in front of us asked if I was OK. Just watching my CO and his friends on stage was amazing.
    After the show, my husband went outside to wait for me (he is a saint really, he sat in the cold for over an hour waiting for me while I basically went girly in front of another guy I love) and I sat with the lady I'd bought the ticket from. There were two groups of 20 and I decided to be in the second group hoping that it wouldn't be as rushed because there was no-one to come in after us. Eventually, it was our turn to go in.
    I was shaking. So, so nervous, feared I might be sick. When you walk in my CO is standing there, just hugging everyone who walks in so I had no chance to build up to approaching him (probably better), he just hugged me straight away. It felt amazing but also completely unreal. Because he was welcoming everyone, I couldn't stay and talk to him then so I went off to talk to the other three guys. I got hugs from them all and they signed the back of my T-shirt. They were so easy to talk to, I had proper conversations with all three of them. Then I went back to my CO and managed the longest sentence of the night to him - "Can you sign my t-shirt and my programme please?" which of course he did. I felt so tongue tied that I moved away after that because I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't get me an odd look or worse. I was in the group talking to one of the other guys when my CO came over saying, "Anyone want me to sign anything?" but no-one did so he just said, "Then I'm going to hug people again," turned to me and put his arms around me. That one felt like forever.
    Then you get to have a photo with all four of them. You can ask them to pose in silly ways or stand next to your favourite. My CO was on the end when it came to my turn, no-one had wanted to stand next to him. Of course I asked if I could stand next to him. He was so happy that someone asked and bounced over, putting both arms around me and giving me another hug before the photo. For the photo itself we have our arms around the other's waist. I'm hoping I don't look too awful on it because that is going to crop out beautifully. After the photo you have to leave so as I walked off I said thank you to him and as he let go of my waist he said, "Thank you, baby." I practically flew out of there. I was buzzing for the next day but completely unable to properly talk about it. I told my husband a few details but obviously I couldn't gush.
    Now, I'm sure my experience was probably not that different from others, I'm sure he's called plenty of women baby in those situations but honestly, I didn't care at that point and it was probably the only way I could have walked out of that room without breaking down. This morning, over 48 hours on, I am still so happy to have met him, to have hugged him and to have had those moments with him but, yeah, knowing that I walked away feels pretty awful. Not that any other outcome was possible - even if he'd thrown himself to the ground and begged me to run away with him, I wouldn't have (probably). I couldn't leave my kids.
    They confirmed they're coming back to the UK in October, and coming to my city this time, so I am now just waiting until the tickets go on sale to try and get meet and greet again. It's kind of addictive meeting them all because they are just so lovely and, tbh, I've been ridiculously jealous seeing photos from shows over the weekend from other people who have met him. I realise that is crazy and I need to find a way to deal with it because they have 6 more shows in the next week so I'm going to see even more.
    So that's my story. I'm not sorry I did it, it was probably better it was so last minute because I had no chance to get really worked up about it. I'd obviously do it again in a heartbeat but if that's it, I will have the memories as long as I have memory and I will have the photos. 
  21. Like
    decado reacted to HopelessRomantic2011 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support   
    Ok, this has been brewing for several months now but I think as of today, I have to officially say that the person who I've been referring to as my CO isn't really my CO. I mean, I still adore him of course, but...his brother is actually my CO. I can't have two COs, right? I have to choose. So fine! I'm making a choice here. Can't go back on it now. ?
  22. Like
    decado reacted to OpalP25 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support   
    Just wanted to make a small comment about this thread.
    This is obviously a deeply personal topic for all of us. The emotions we're experiencing are also very personal too. After all, only we as individuals know our own minds and hearts, and therefore only we have the ability to define what our own feelings are.
    I really like having in-depth discussions about this subject and the questions surrounding it, such as the one today about what the definition of love is. It's nice talking about things openly and hearing other people's viewpoints. This is a great place for these sorts of conversations, and I hope it will continue to be for a long time to come!
  23. Like
    decado got a reaction from OpalP25 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support   
    Thank you @Audrey822 I didn't mean to bring the tone of the forum down to her level. Im still in shock at myself for firing back at her. I never speak my mind, ever. I'm such a placid, shy person. But the way she spoke about us all was vile. It literally made my blood boil. Plus her latest comment attacking someone's CO is horrendous. I honestly think it's trolling on her part to make her feel better  by putting others down. She's a bully and nothing more. There's no way I would post who my CO is after the those comments. Completely uncalled for. Constantine is amazing, and a good choice of CO.
    It was like you said. A new reader who is looking for a place to share and not feel judged will think twice before posting here, and that's a shame. I felt so alone before posting here and I've met the most amazing people from this forum. I'm so grateful for it and the people on it. When I have had my darkest moments, I had a place to come and share, and not feel judged. It was my CO who brought me here, so I'm eternally grateful to him for giving me the opportunity to met the most amazing people who I could ever hope to meet. 
    Im glad your doing ok, I miss coming on here, I will try and come on more often, if that's ok with everyone? 
    Im in a good place with my CO the past couple of weeks. He has responded to me, three times on Twitter. I posted a really old photo of my CO and another musician, he toured with and he not only responded to me but put the photo on his Instagram. I was honoured! 
    Take care everyone xx
     
     
  24. Like
    decado got a reaction from perfectcircle77 in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support   
    Thank you @Audrey822 I didn't mean to bring the tone of the forum down to her level. Im still in shock at myself for firing back at her. I never speak my mind, ever. I'm such a placid, shy person. But the way she spoke about us all was vile. It literally made my blood boil. Plus her latest comment attacking someone's CO is horrendous. I honestly think it's trolling on her part to make her feel better  by putting others down. She's a bully and nothing more. There's no way I would post who my CO is after the those comments. Completely uncalled for. Constantine is amazing, and a good choice of CO.
    It was like you said. A new reader who is looking for a place to share and not feel judged will think twice before posting here, and that's a shame. I felt so alone before posting here and I've met the most amazing people from this forum. I'm so grateful for it and the people on it. When I have had my darkest moments, I had a place to come and share, and not feel judged. It was my CO who brought me here, so I'm eternally grateful to him for giving me the opportunity to met the most amazing people who I could ever hope to meet. 
    Im glad your doing ok, I miss coming on here, I will try and come on more often, if that's ok with everyone? 
    Im in a good place with my CO the past couple of weeks. He has responded to me, three times on Twitter. I posted a really old photo of my CO and another musician, he toured with and he not only responded to me but put the photo on his Instagram. I was honoured! 
    Take care everyone xx
     
     
  25. Like
    decado got a reaction from ColdFire in Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support   
    Thank you @Audrey822 I didn't mean to bring the tone of the forum down to her level. Im still in shock at myself for firing back at her. I never speak my mind, ever. I'm such a placid, shy person. But the way she spoke about us all was vile. It literally made my blood boil. Plus her latest comment attacking someone's CO is horrendous. I honestly think it's trolling on her part to make her feel better  by putting others down. She's a bully and nothing more. There's no way I would post who my CO is after the those comments. Completely uncalled for. Constantine is amazing, and a good choice of CO.
    It was like you said. A new reader who is looking for a place to share and not feel judged will think twice before posting here, and that's a shame. I felt so alone before posting here and I've met the most amazing people from this forum. I'm so grateful for it and the people on it. When I have had my darkest moments, I had a place to come and share, and not feel judged. It was my CO who brought me here, so I'm eternally grateful to him for giving me the opportunity to met the most amazing people who I could ever hope to meet. 
    Im glad your doing ok, I miss coming on here, I will try and come on more often, if that's ok with everyone? 
    Im in a good place with my CO the past couple of weeks. He has responded to me, three times on Twitter. I posted a really old photo of my CO and another musician, he toured with and he not only responded to me but put the photo on his Instagram. I was honoured! 
    Take care everyone xx
     
     
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