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decado

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About decado

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    Female
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    England

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  1. I’m sorry you had to go through that! I hope that everyone was ok and your all doing well now, sending you virtual hugs. On the CO thing, I just feel so guilty. Because I was so chatty to the other four members and as my friend said I my usual Manchester self! Saying the usual “Hiya Love, how are you?” to the first three members. Then I barely spoke to my CO. Then the singer was really bubbly which took away my nerves again. So I went back to being high on life again. I’m just worried he noticed and thought I was just rude to him or just didn’t like him. I’m just terrified he’s gone away hating me. I adore that man so much
  2. Thank you so much, I love my Car so much and it’s broke my heart.
  3. Thank you so much for your kind words. I will literally chat to anyone who will listen. I surprised myself how well I did manage to talk with the other members and bands. I’ve never met anyone famous before and it was kinda strange seeing them face to face rather than on the telly. But we spoke about normal stuff. They were all so easy to chat with. Except my CO. He must have noticed that I was chat, chat, chat, really quite, then back to chatty again. I didn’t want to scare them or say something stupid so I kept it brief and calm. But I’m worried he might have thought I didn’t like them as much as the others and I feel so guilty. And just to let you know I will be sending you lots of love and virtual hugs over the next few days. I understand how hard this much be, I’ve been through it. Be strong, keep your mind occupied with other things you enjoy. Feel free to message me if you want to vent or just chat. I’m here to listen. We will all help you get through this. Lots of love and virtual hugs!
  4. Hello and hope everyone is doing ok! Thank you all for your lovely messages of support that means a lot. I’m still struggling with very mixed emotions about the whole event. We met three bands in total over the weekend, and all the members of each band, I was able to talk with absolutely fine. One band we met on the Saturday is an ultimate favourite of mine and I wasn’t star stuck at all. Also with the other four members of my COs band, I was able to chat perfectly fine with them, even the lead singer (who I have to admit it absolutely gorgeous and he has such a bubbly personality. I can understand why girls go weak at the knees for him!!) But I could barely get any words out with my CO. Which makes me feel so guilty. Anyway I’d just like to apologise for not responding to your replies sooner, we had a car accident the other day and it’s been a nightmare since. Take care everyone!
  5. Thank you so much @HopelessRomantic2011 & @alliryann18 for taking the time to respond to me. I guess I just feel so isolated. Especially as my friends seem to have vanished. I think the thing that hurts most is I was just a number to him. He forgot me as soon as he met me. I’m still in the process of going over the details. Although the memories are now fading fast. I’m struggling to remember and the more I think the more I can’t remember what happened. I will take what you both have said to me and have a good think about it. I’m just all over the place, I had hoped by now it would have settled, but it feels worse. Thank you for taking the time to respond to me
  6. Hope everyone is ok. I’m so sorry for coming here, I just don’t know where else to turn. So I apologise in advance. Two weeks ago today. I met my CO and I have regretted doing so ever since. I feel like I have made the biggest fool out of myself and he’s gone away hating me. I’ve felt utterly miserable and worthless ever since. Also to make matters worse the friends I went with have dropped me like a stone. No one will talk with me and I feel more alone than ever. I think this is making everything seem twice as bad. I’ve had some extremely dark thoughts during the past two weeks and I’ve never felt so alone. I wish I could turn back time and never have met him.
  7. Hope everyone is ok. I’m so sorry for coming here, I just don’t know where else to turn. So I apologise in advance. Two weeks ago today. I met my CO and I have regretted doing so ever since. I feel like I have made the biggest fool out of myself and he’s gone away hating me. I’ve felt utterly miserable and worthless ever since. Also to make matters worse the friends I went with have dropped me like a stone. No one will talk with me and I feel more alone than ever. I think this is making everything seem twice as bad. I’ve had some extremely dark thoughts during the past two weeks and I’ve never felt so alone. I wish I could turn back time and never have met him.
  8. Hi Everyone, I hope your all doing ok? I’m struggling with major anxiety and have been for the past week since a magazine confirmed that my CO’s band is definitely doing a M&G at the festival next weekend. It kinda felt like a fairytale for a while (I know how crazy that sounds) But Since seeing it in black and white, and now the band members are posting stuff about them coming over here, I’m freaking out big time. Sorry for venting, I’ve got now where else to turn. My biggest fear is how he will react to me. I personally would prefer not to do the M&G, but my friend really wants to. I’m so confused and stress right now, I don’t know what to do. Any advice would be gratefully recieved xx
  9. decado

    What Are You Listening To? #2

    Great choice in music, JA is my favourite band in the world I’m currently listening to When they call my name - Black Veil Brides
  10. I really dislike Instagram so much right now! Why do we get this overwhelming need to check this sites when they only ever bring heartbreak? Sorry for venting I’m just feeling so very sad right now. I hope everyone else is doing ok though
  11. Hi @alliryann18 Sorry to hear you going through a tough time right now. Well done though for achieving 5 months with searching for new content. That’s amazing! I wish I had your strength, I’m still in the new CO phase at the moment, although it’s now going into the fourth month I can’t see it ending yet. We are all here if you want to talk, I’m happy to talk privately if you prefer. Good luck with your journey xx
  12. Hi @musiclover83 Firstly, hugs to you too and thank you for sharing your story with us. I completely get how you are feeling and I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I am going through a similar thing with my new CO only Tuesday there was a photo circulated of him with these two beautiful women. Like you I felt betrayed and hurt. When my logical mind says it has nothing to do with me. My CO like yours doesn’t post much either. So like you I don’t know for sure if he has a new girl. So I feel how your feeling and I’m sending you lots of love and hugs. You can get though this. Social media is certainly not our friend when we have COs. All I can suggest is to limit the amount of time you look at Instagram. Only follow pages where you know it’s less likely for you to see something that hurts. Silly question, forgive me, but have you got a few favourite photos on your phone that you could look at to when you feel the need to go to Instagram. Look at your safe photos instead. That why you still can look at you beautiful CO but without the fear of something hurtful. I alsofound that if I googled my COs band, group photos, I came across just them with no girls in sight. Ok they do have the rest of the band but no girls to have to worry about. I do the same as you also when you said about bringing other band mates or favourites into you daydreams. Do you find it helps make the fantasy more a reality? I don’t have any friends either, I thought I did but they take what they want from me and ditch me just as fast. I let my guard down recently after a long time. I thought I’d made a couple of lovely friends but no. They didn’t want me it was just for free childcare. My COs are are helping through this real life heartbreak. Perhaps, don’t look up this new photo shoot until your in a happier place. What I do and this is going to really sound crazy. When I get a notification that my CO posted on Instagram is I will perhaps go outside in the garden or make a drink. Something where I can have a quick look then busy myself with something else, like making the drink or picking up some leaves. Just incase it isn’t something I really want to see. Crazy I know but it has helped. Especially with the photo from Tuesday. Sorry for going on at you, I just hope you are ok and we understand how you feel. I wish you the best of luck! Xx
  13. Hi, @CrazyinLove welcome back to the forum, sorry it’s not under better circumstances. just reading your post, I can relate to you so much. Ive often asked myself why do I develop crushes on famous people too. I’m still looking for a answer. I’m just like you I get short term crushes that disappear as fast as they started. I do have one CO I’ve had for 25 years now, who I love dearly. I developed a new crush on the 12th January I fell hard and fast for this one! I was hoping he would be a pasting phase but it’s now going into the forth month and the rascal still has me. If your CO is making you happy right now, then I say enjoy it. When the happiness starts to fade, it’s time to make cut backs to save your self from being hurt. You actually helped me understand why I’m able to not over obsess with my CO, when you said that you still enjoy your main COs music even though you have strong feelings for him. So thank you for that. Wow the picture you posted is incredible. I’ve had to save, (hope that’s ok?) it describes me perfectly. Good luck with your journey and your with to pm me anytime. Hi @TotallyBatty I think Bluestarr gave you some really good advice. I just wanted to say Hello and your definitely not alone here. Hello @pervenche Welcome to forum, never apologise for your posts. If we can’t vent here then where can we? Everyone here is lovely and we’re not here to judge you at all. I can relate to you as well. I think (just my opinion) depression and COs are linked in a way. Do you think your COs are helping you feel the things that are missing from your real life? I only ask as I know this is my case. I know how you feel about being interrupted and never meeting them and then getting depressed. I wish I had a magic wand for you, I feel the exact same thing. Have you tried reducing the amount of time you spend thinking of him? Believe I know this is hard, but it might help you a little. Just remember we are all here for you, no judgement, vent as much as you like. Pm me if you want to talk further. You can get there this. Xx
  14. @nosleep & @BlueStar I hope you are both ok? Thank you so much for your kind words. I just felt so stupid yesterday. I’m sorry for coming and venting on the forum, I just didn’t know where else to turn. I knew from the title that nothing good was going to come out of watching it. On reflection though, it wasn’t like he said anything that I didn’t already know, he’s fully admitted that he is a womaniser many times in other interviews and never hides the fact. It’s just this interview was a lot more detailed, than I guess I was expecting. My lifelong CO used to be the exact same way and I’ve heard him also say similar things in interviews. I guess I forgot how that stuff can hurt hearing it. On the plus side, the interview did help me find out the reason I fell so hard and fast for this CO, he is literally a younger version of my lifelong CO in so many ways. Both my COs have a vulnerability about them, underneath all the confidence, which makes me love them all the more. Even after the interview, I thought I’d be able to go and delete all his photos but nope, the first photo I saw was my favourite, the devil got me again and I ended keeping them and felling back in love with him all over again. Thank you again for your understanding and support xx
  15. Well I’ve just done something incredibly stupid, I just came across a new interview with my CO thats really upset me. I really wished I hadn’t pressed play. By the title of the interview I should have known that it wasn’t going to be something I wanted to hear, I’m so stupid Sorry everyone I just needed to vent, I feel so silly right now.
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