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Everything posted by Evergreenforst4

  1. Hi duck, This has been something on my mind as well. I feel like mental healthcare has corruption and seems to be ineffective. Honestly lately I have stopped going to therapy and go to the gyms and rec centers to workout and just talk to the girlfriend and hang out at bars taverns, it seems to help my mental health way more than the artificial, cold sterile profit before people therapy who seem to treat people as lessers, incapable or even like criminals. I feel like there is a basic respect people should show to humans, especially if one elects to work in the mental healthcare field.
  2. Hello, it is fine to post here it is sort of general, as others mentioned relationship forum as well. 1. If you are in a relationship that is not working you should find a new relationship. 2. I am not sure who physically abused him if you did you need to work on anger management if partner did he may resent you that you did not protect him and make poor relationship choices. 3. I think it is good for people to work and be productive. In your situation you can try to work on basic things like mental health and physical health, if someone does not have work it is wise to practice self care and learn new skills and try to apply to a few jobs a day. Generally I think it is good for people to either be working (taking care of kid is working too) or going to school or have a business venture 4. This ties back into 1 you may have not had a good relationship. 5. If you moved for the relationship you could move back. 6. You could start a thread for this, there are a lot of good people here. 7. You should leave the relationship and move back. I am not sure what you mean by starting over, if you mean circumstantial ask family for help and move somewhere with better employment. If you mean finding a better relationship you have to understand the give and take of relationships. Generally you want to strive to come to a fair agreement for relationships, most people unfortunately look at relationships in an exploitative manner (What can this person do for me?) we must balance both however, If we just take advantage of someone or be taken advantage of resentment builds and explodes so you have to think about what you want and what you bring to the table so the future relationships are fair.
  3. Hi Evalynn, I am sorry things have been rough for you. You are a conscientious person which can be good. You have to try to not worry too much and balance it. If you feel trapped you can try having healthy spirituality and listening to music and having positive thoughts. When I feel sad sometimss I like to spend time with animals because sometimes I feel that they can be sympathethic and understanding even though they are simpler life forms. You have a picture of a pupper maybe you can spend time with them ☺
  4. Hi Zeebug, I began to have similar experiences around the same age. Part of it is puberty you have a lot of hormones. I would say the best thing you can do is try to follow common sense and make wise decisions and learn to manage emotions and feelings. I think you should try to play sports or outdoor activities if possible. It is a problem with modern humans they do not get enough exercise and so I think modern humans struggle more with mental health than ancient ones.
  5. Hi, I am sorry you are going through difficult times, you are a pillar of this community and you are an amazing human and I am just so sorry you go through such pains
  6. Hi Nightjar, I am sorry about the dentist, I am intriguied by this alternative therapy, what is this?
  7. Rainingviolets makes some good points, Also perspective and gratitude are key because otherwise you may never he happy. Imagine you had a genie. Someone will say well I want a bf/gf then they find one and say well I wish I had a more attractive partner or wish they act differently, Okay wish granted, okay well I wish we had more money, wish we kids. It is human nature to be kind of selfish and sometimes being too selfish actually makes our lives worse because we will turn down jobs/partners anything not because they are not good but because we think we can do better. There is nothing wrong with goals are yourself and lifegoals but if you are not satisfied now you still will not be when the goals are reached becaise there will always be more goals. I know this because I reached many goals and I also see very rich/famous people who are unhappy with their lives even though they are the rich beautiful Americans they are not happy because it is all consuming. That is why the perspective is important, most people have reached goals before and with good perspective this builds confidence
  8. I am 30 too and have lived in an area with a disproportionate male population and would often feel like a goat butting heads with the other goats to date one woman who already has trust issues. I do have good news though, society is so toxic that when you say you missed out on a lot you also probably missed out on the bad parts too. I think that you should try to be grateful for the things in your life or you will never be. For example you said you used to be attractive but you still need to appreciate it. I have a very beautiful girlfriend now but when I did not I tried to be grateful for simple things, even thankful if a woman would talk to me. I understand that it is easy to feel angry or bitter at life circumstances but I do find it is good to be grateful. The truth is you do have good things and you are still young. Life is a precious gift that was handed to us and sometimes we bury it in the ground but we can also unearth it and appreciate the beautiful things about us that make us special. I will assuredly tell you there are probably many lonely young men around your age and I think you should give them a chance.
  9. Darlene you are very eloquent. I think sometimes it is just good to stop and count your blessings. Some peope want children but cannot have, or some want a job but cannot have, some actually just to be somewhere safe and not starving or forced labor. For free people the worst days they have are better than the best days of people in labor camp. The only reason I mention this is because I know some people who got out of the place and they got to America and they are so happy even though they seem to have nothing and I see some people who are so rich, smart and beautiful but they are miserable because I think we make the mistake of believing circumstance dictates happiness but I believe it is perspective that both dicates happiness and upward circumstance.
  10. Hi Pandoren, It is really good you are trying to make an action plan and you also seem to be very intelligent and self aware. You did acknowledge that eating healthy and sleep can be improved. This does make a huge difference. I would look up sleep techniques such as trying to make the room darker or remove distractions experiment to get higher quality sleep. For eating healthy you could try taking vitamins to start. D3 and B12 in particular are good for the mood and brain functioning these vitamins can help you feel better they worked for me along with hydration and staying at a good temperature. In the past I dated a swing/nightshift nurse who finished work at 11. We would often have phone calls or watch tv for a bit when she got home as this helped her fall asleep at a relatively reasonable time like 1am which is not that far off normal day. For the exercise you have to make it fun. I tend to torture myself and release all my anger/emotions when I work out I do bodybuilding and I am very strong but is not uncommon for me push myself to a breaking point. The way I see it is that life is already painful torture so why not add more and it benefits the mind and body afterwards. This of course is a masochistic philosophy but generally exercise should be fun. There is a book called Born to Run about the Tahumaran people they could 100 miles and they had a culture of running and saw it as an enjoying way of life for them. You have to find a way to make the exercise something fun, I had sisters who would workout with Cassie Ho because she is upbeat and funny so it made the exercise grind fun. You should experiment with different philosophies and methods as you seem to be quite intelligent maybe even a genius but usually people who are this smart can get very depressed without direction the same with humans as with animals. Border Collies for example are one of the smartest dogs but they can get very neurotic without mental tasks.
  11. Hmm, There are two things I think that would help. The first is to try to develop empathy and put yourself in the other person's shoes. Imagine if you were that person. There is a saying that you catch flies with honey, you catch fish with bait. People are attracted to happy jovial spirits but it can feel like you are locked out when you are sincerely at rock bottom. You have to try to be kind to the few souls who do talk to you and remove the bitter feelings, this will help. I think what happened is you may have unloaded too much at once, try opening up only a little. First not to overwhelm and also second because these people have to earn your trust as well and you can see what they do when you open up a little bit at a time. The second thing is you may have to find different types of people. I think we make the mistake of appraising people for the wrong reasons which is why society tends to have a lot of problems. Just because someone has a certain look or physical trait does not mean they will be a good friend or even a good person, if anything some people become entitled and spoiled because people always fawn over them. Most people treat these people like they are better and give everything to them but it makes society worse. The world is quite vast and full of billions of people you may just have to be creative and look around, there are better friends and I am sure that there is a counterpart who feels similar to you. Edit Additionally there is a very thought provoking question I often ask myself which is this. If I met my counterpart, would we hate eachother? It is good to ask this question because you can think about how you appear to other people because they are the same types of people you are. They have the same, brain, heart feelings only difference is of circumstance.
  12. Hi UserNotFound, I served in the military and was an assault victim, I had a fiance leave me and cheat on me and I had many women take advantage of me. What helped me was to start bodybuilding and getting my college degree. I ended up getting a lot stronger and I had a late growth spurt and also grew quite a bit. I found it is better to harness your anger and channel it into weightlifting or martial arts. You do not want to do dark things with your rage as then how you better than the people who wronged you? they could have the same excuse, it is a viscious cycle and it takes strength to break the cycle and not pass the abuse to another. Let the anger make you stronger and with the strength you can break the chains. This one creed I liked, they actually call it the sith code but I think it is not bad Through passion, I gain strength. Through strength, I gain power Through power, I gain victory Through victory, my chains are broken The Force shall free me
  13. Hi Chumly, At the end of the day they are still your fanily by blood. It is natural for humans in general to want the best for the posterity even if the peoole may be extremely flawed, we do not know the kind of lives they live they did not have the same kind of access of information and knowledge we have so they have different methods of coping. I don't believe your therapist is trying to milk sessions, there are enough stressors and issues in the world to keep therapists in business forever even if they actually helped solve problems, if anything not helping people improve would just make them change therapists. The family unit is just a human bond, if you can negotiate and reconcile with your family in general it will be easier to form relationships with friends, coworkers, spouse. You are at a distance already and you know your family you can try to communicate from a safe distance. I do suspect if you begun to heal your relationship your mom might act less neurotic, sometimes people act more crazy when they lose something dear to their heart and they seem to become heartless.
  14. Hi Gandolfication, You are a very intelligent person and unfortunately there is a bit of truth to the saying that ignorance is bliss, so it is kind of challenenging to offer any advice. The only two things I can think of are to get enough sleep and find some way to get into a relaxed state it could be with meditation or exercise. I would try to experiment and find what works best for you.
  15. Hi, This is a sensitive topic. You want to start with basic questions like what is your orientation, do you want to have kids your own kids someday. Generally speaking, people who present as male will have more options with women and people who present as female will have more options than men as majority of people are heterosexual so that is something to consider. I would say orientation and future family goals would be the two most important considerations. Discrimination is another factor although it should not be, generally if people 'pass' they recieve less discrimination so the discrimination serves to help people fully transition. I would recommend talking to a therapist who specializes in lgbt issues, or try to meet some transgender people.
  16. Hi SYC, I can relate on some levels as I do bodybuilding and I do copy routines from models. I agree that confidence is not always understood well. I think in your case you are equating confidence a bit with self improvement. The unfortunate reality in our world is that discrimination or being a harsh critic can actually makes us improve whether we like it or not even when it is not the intention of the people who caused it. As an extreme example America had slavery of mostly African Americans for centuries. A lot of African Americans now dominate all physical sports and are some of the worlds greatest athletes. There are chubby overweight girls who get teased in school and they end up becoming instagram models. I think what I have realized about humans is that you simply cannot hold them back nor should you try to. People for years have tried to discriminate and hold people back but it often backfires the people just come out stronger. We have the respect the humanity of all human beings. So it may seem to stray a bit off topic but the key to success is the bell curve of stress. Humans tend to perform their best with a moderate amount of stress. You can guage where you are on the curve based on two things. If comfort and a relaxing day helps you be more productive you are too stressed, if it makes you feel bores and unchallenged you are probably not stressed enough. If a stressful event fires you up you are probably not stresses enough and if it overwhelms you are probably too stressed. That is more about the passion and peak performance for modeling which I do not believe is related to confidence. I think confidence comes from having control and mastery over your environment which is why those top models can sometimes appear bossy or arrogant. They want to feel in control of the environment. Confidence is like telling someone to go to something and they will do it. It is being sure of things. When you have unpredictable modeling contracts and are around a lot of bigwig modeling scouts who have turned down scores of would be models it is insanely hard to have confidence but if you can develop that confidence you can be a champion. A champion is someone who has a rare combination of natural gifts and talents but also possesses incredible drive, anyone with enough determination can become a champion I believe. You have to start with basic things in your life and take control over them. You could try to work with a counselor or life coach or just look up ways to become more confident.
  17. Hi Kabuto, Instead of looking at OCD like a bad thing, think of it as a neutral trait or quirk that you have. Sometimes having OCD can be good because you can organize things extremely well. It is more of a neutral trait than a good one or a bad one you just have to learn how to live with it and manage the weaknesses but then you get to enjoy the positives as well
  18. Hi, I don't think there is anything wrong you are in a state of mourning as your uncle died. Go for a long walk or running can help settle your nerves or other form of cardio and talking with a doctor or therapist would help as well. I would give yourself time to mourn and grieve.
  19. Hello, I agree with Oscar, forced smiling works in emergency situations. I did that when I was in military inpatient in the past along with forced laughter. The biggest thing I would say is to focus on staying alive and okay. I think you should try to do some soul searching and change your tactics. You could try changing your actions or perspectives or try different religion or none at all. I would try different hobbies or activities and find something that helps you feel more mentally stable on a regular basis. I would not focus on your age so much as your health. I do bodybuilding and I workout at the gym and I see a women who is 70 and she actually looks like quite an attractive tall woman apart from her silver hair you would not be able to tell she was older. I have seen people with diseases that cause premature aging and are teenagers who look like elders there is a lot of different spectrum with age, it is more important to take care of your health. There are fantastical stories of people living 900 years in Eden people can go on long rants about age or storie of aging but I honestly believe that based on what I have seen that there are many actions you can do to restore or reducs aging through collagen or increasing telomere length. Some basic things would be quality sleep, improving physical, mental and emotional health. I would try to do therapy if you can. You may feel like you are not the same person anymore but you still are. Deep down that same person is there and wants to be happy, I believe you can be happy with a good environment and training. Do you have a bad home environment? I would try to pursue the happiness, that is the dream
  20. There is a lot of really good advice from the people here. I was talking to someone the other day about why people seem meaner nowadays. I think part of the reason is the internet it is possible to hide behind a veneer and people are more unhinged and unfiltered. Also a lot of decisions from people do not stem with peoples best interest but simply to make money regardless of social damage. I think if you take the time to understand some of these people and the things that they have gone through you will begin to realize they are actually good people and interesting as well. I feel that way about a lot of the people on this forum.
  21. Hi Thanos, You mentioned in some of your posts that you have autism. I think it is possible your dad may have misinterpreted this and he is trying to parent you rather than have a vacation. I would put a lot of thought into your spirituality and religion. You have to be even tempered as taking many religous things at face value can be dogmatic ensure that you are not being manipulated by your church and that it is helping you. Remember to think about things and do not be afraid to ask skeptical questions or think. I grew up in a cultlike environment and there was always a certain fear associated with these things. I would try to talk to your dad on calls and discuss things more before you decide to visit or not.
  22. I have had some friends that before. What is your documentary called? I actually did want to see it
  23. Hi, I have helped my family be more healthy. This is what I would do in this situation. Leave your dad alone and stop trying to control him. As the child role you cannot order him but you could instead inspire and influence. I would focus on being healthier yourself, this will also help you with dating. When your dad sees you improved it may inspire him and then you can ask if he wants to go to the gym with you. Unfortunately, death is a part of life. Humans have been dying for thousands of years it is the tragedgy of life. If I knew how to stop it, believe I would be out there telling everyone. You will have to take some time to mourn and reflect.
  24. If you tell me your documentary or recommended books I will check them out. I actually visit the library frequently
  25. Something like that depends on a lot of factors. Does she have a job or depression? Sometimes if people they work a lot or are depressed they might not want to watch things like an assignment but her still replying to your texts might mean she just wants to talk without the pressure.
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