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  1. Hi, It could be intimidating for other people to talk to you because you seem to resent almost everyone you have been in contact with even family. Relationships are a two way street you also have to think about things you can do to explain yourself better, protect yourself if someone is unethical and having outlets so you do not take your bad experiences out on new people who did not wrong you. Bad people or scumbags as you like to call them, they take advantage of people who are impulsive and vulnerable, who cannot speak up or report things. If you are having problems with lawyers I will tell you those are some of the toughest people on the planet to contend with because they deal with difficult people on a regular basis and are very crafty themselves. Really the only way is to find a clear law they are violating, have evidence, otherwise it is best to move on. I fought with a lawyer before because he was a jerk and shot off illegal grade fireworks all the time at all hours. It only worked because the police stepped up and rest of the neighborhood was upset as well but yeah I do not like disputing with lawyers that is for sure.
  2. Hi MSYC, It is good you told someone boyfriend but he has no right to be angry at you. I think you should also tell your mom and report the photographer to your modeling agency. If you have any text, documentation you should keep this as well. Reporting this may make you as an individual feel scared and uncomfortable but do it for the other models, as you have said he does it to 100s of models so if he gets many reports they can put an end to it.
  3. Hi nojoy, It is so good to hear you have improved your mental health. I am kind of concerned about how your brother is attached to your niece and trying to be controlling, tells you to stay away from her and freaks out and sends a long text message and gets mad when she leaves. That is potential predator behavior like he could be grooming her it is not normal for an uncle to be that attached to a niece. It is definitely a yellow or orange area, since she left that is probably for the best. Other than that womanofthelight is 100% correct. Take care of yourself. America for all its problems is a good country, there are a lot of help for people they have to take the steps. Rather than burden yourself with peoples problems direct them to sources of help and share what personally helped you if they are willing to listen.
  4. Zagor, I have been to inpatient 3 times in my life 1 civillian and 2 military. If the doctor says he is getting better then just ride the stream with that because getting better means he can get out of the institution. And yeah they make a lot of money and being hospitalized there is expensive when it should not be because I would never in my life ever go back to being comitted, I would become Michael Myers before I would pay someone to go back there, military was different because it was free and honestly some male military nurse was a jerk but everything else helped me recover, on the civillian side I liked the other patients. Overall, if he says your brother is getting better that is a good start to getting him out of there which seems like the best course. Usually he just needs a plan on how he stays safe and they can discharge him. If he does not like the noise, ask for ear plugs, they usually always have these on wards. Heck I played guitar, piano led a yoga class with the other patients, got a memory foam matress, lot of good food, scribbled and exchnaged stories with the other inpatients, even had a gaming console in the military one. I don't know where your brother is but that one sounds either awful or you just have to ask for the good stuff especially with how expensive it is. I spent 7 years in the military and I 100% think sleep deprivation will make anyone go insane.
  5. I just need one more post and I am finally an advanced member!
  6. Hello, I am sorry for the deaths in the family as well as the treatment you have received. Having a miscarriage, special needs child, pet and an immature partner sounds profoundly draining. I am going to share my honest opinion here. I think that your partner is acting ungrateful and you should leave him. He does not work, contribute to the house in any meaningful way and if that was not bad enough he has the audacity to be patronizing and disrespectful to you even after you have given him a child. I do not think they are fit to be with you and you cannot train them because you said you tried to set boundaries and this did not improve any behavior. When they call you lazy and say they will divorce, they are projecting their own fears onto you. They really mean those things about themselves, they feel insecure that they do not contribute and are fearful about divorce. In society there are expectations for men and he may feel if his health failing and not contributing he feels embarrassed and insecure and when people feel embarrassed and insecure they typically show their worst versions. I am saying this not so you feel pity but so you do not take it personally. If I was you I would leave because there is a child involved and you need a loving nurturing world for the child especially because they have special needs. I can tell you it is better not to have a dad than to have an abusive one. That is what I would do. If you want to try to save the relationship I would threaten divorce and fan the flames and see if he has a repentant breakdown which could be a catalyst for change. Sometimes people do not appreciate what they have until it is gone. So you could test him a bit but quite honestly it sounds like he already failed your tests.
  7. Hi Thomas, It sounds like you can still experience emotions but they are not as strong as you want them to be. This could happen if you are tired or from some medications. Sometimes emotions and memories can be powerful triggers ensure you take care of your health and you could try to recall memories or experiences that made you feel. My favorite movie is Hachi, I can cry when I see this movie.
  8. Evergreenforst4

    The Leper King

    I recently played a game called Darkest Dungeon and in that game there is a character who has leprosy. He is a poetic warrior and based on a real king of Jerusalem named Baldwin roughly around the 12th century who was a great king and warrior despite having leprosy. In theory the leper king is a champion. He wields a giant executioner blade and hits like a truck. He has the best armor and is entiretly self sufficient. He can heal himself and strengthen his resistances and cope without any help. His crippling weakness is his leprosy which slows him down and causes him to bleed and suffer partial blindness. It cannot be cured but it can be managed. If you take the time to give the leper bandages, milk soaked linens, camping skills and proper equipment he is a champion. In a way I feel that people with depression are similar. They have so much potential but they have crippling flaws because of depression and while in theory they could thrive and be extraordinary it can feel as though no one cares enough or really actually believes in them. That is where being self sufficient comes into play. Like the leper king, we must first learn to be entirely self sufficient as flawed as we are. He is self sufficient and can survive alone in a hostile world. He is a man familar with the pain and suffering of both his affliction as well as feeling like an outcast but still appreciates the help and kindness of others. These are two very strong traits, learning to be both self sufficient but also able to benefit from the aid and kindness of others, that is the mark of a true champion.
  9. I play guitar and what you could do is start with learning chords, you could get a piano app or guitar app to start. Also I understand the impersonalization of therapy. In general this is why I distrust the counselors or religions because we struggle and labor to survive and they make the livings off of these people when I think a real saint or someone who cares would do so for free. I got therapy while I was in the military as well as college so I never actually had to pay for it, also many corporations and healthcare seem to prioritize mental health care so it can be included also. Apart from therapy I think having a good partner really helps. I started dating someone new and it makes a huge difference especially someone who treats you well. In my family, my dad was kind of patronizing and abusive at times. I was the prodigy child of the family and I kind of played the family politics to get ahead. I think it depends on what you are willing to compromise or just do not bring up with them, if you give your family some concessions they may treat you more favourably, I know this sounds horrible but also I think it is a good rule to avoid religon/ politic with the family. I may not be the best person to give advice but I resiliently thrived in bad conditons like a weed.
  10. Everyone here is so hardworking and interesting. I also don't like the repetitive holiday music and the commercialization. I am sorry you have a hard time with taper cherryapplez2020 withdrawals are difficult
  11. Hi Zack, You seem like a great person who likes to help others. I read all of your previous posts and it seems like you had similar struggles about a year ago as well. Based on where you are from Pennsylvania and your posts I think it is possible that the culture in your area or your own inner circle might not talk about mental health a lot. I don't want to sound ignorant by saying that as I could be wrong based on the limited information that is just what I think could possibly be. I think talking with a counselor and finding forms of self expression are good ways to help find significance. Try being creative like writing poems or stories, learning a new instrument or sport. I understand many of these things cost but you could see if an old friend has a guitar or keyboard they no longer want. I once got free ballet lessons at college because I went to the wrong room, I thought I was going to intramural sports and I walked in and the teacher let me stay and do ballet. After the class she said I was a natural and let me keep showing up. I thought that was really cool. Self expression is a human need and to me you seem like a meh just kind of existing but you want to have passion, purpose, significance, to be remembered. I think soul searching is good for people like that to find yourself who you are. I hope everything goes well for you.
  12. Ladysmurf has really good points. Another thing to consider is their intentions are unknown. It could be possible that if they felt you were down in the dumps or not thriving they thought it rude to spotlight you and maybe just enjoy the time with them without being publicly put on the spot for some people it can be ridicule and not enjoyable especially if people are shy. Ultimately they are still your family, if your family does good that is also a part of you that does good. We cannot know the intentions of other people all the time but we can still judge the outcomes. It is possible they meant well but it went horribly wrong, if you feel like they dont pay you any attention you could initiate conversation on your terms with what topics you want to talk about.
  13. I don't think it is too late. Write them an impassioned love letter and tell them how you feel. I did that once after watching the Notebook
  14. I used to struggle a lot with anger and having an outlet helps. I work the punching bag and lift weights when angry it works pretty well. If you have no gym or equipment just do pushups or go for a run, sometimes getting out of the house is best. If you are a smoker or someone in the house is that might be why the alarm goes off, if you do smoke try to go outside when you do and make sure you take vitamin c I read they need more vitamin c.
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