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Evergreenforst4

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  1. Sorry I am not too good with english. I think there is nothing wrong with competition. In U.S. they seem to make it feel like life or death sometimes like a barbaric fight. but you can lose most of the time and it is not the end of everything. many successful people lose all the time. Chuck Norris the martial artist use to lose a lot of tournaments but he kept learning how to improve. I heard stories of people failing a lot to create electricity. The secret is if you look at the top people in the world they are really losers at some point who had failures but they simply did not quit.
  2. Hi Psycholuigiman, I have seen your posts before and you are pretty cool. I think intention means matters, I have made tough forceful suggestions to be people and it was because I sincerely believed it was best for them in the long them and not just to be bossy. In that regard, I think if you have perspective you should feel free to tell your friend the truth and help then explore ways to save. Ultimately, you are NOT your friends keeper, you can give valuable input but if they choose to make what you view as poor decisions they must pay the consequences in the future. If people are never disciplined, they only form of discipline they will get is from mother nature who does discipline. For example being out in the cold rain without a jacket can make you sick. Playing with an electrical outlet can get someone shocked. Yes we can tell these people to be careful but eventually they will be disciplined from nature itself for making poor choices but as a friend you would like to spare them from the suffering so you warn them when it appears they are heading down a less desirable path. To me that is the opposite of being harmful but if you feel in doubt there is nothing wrong with trying to simply do no harm.
  3. Hi, I have had a lot of success dating or just hooking up in general. My first tip is avoid making friends, dont waste your time with someone if they are using a dating site for friends, those people are the worst for those with mental health issues IMHO. Second, stick with the popular sites you are using, take good pics (ask a friend or someone) and use a guide for writing good profiles. A lot of people are not normal especially in U.S there are a lot social issues so dont feel bad. Just put your best self forward though and have realistic expectations and be outgoing. Guys have talk first typically and it does not have to be hard just keep it simple and polite. many religious women look for virgin men so you could also try popular dating sites if you do have belief or anything. Also just exercise regularly it will help with stress because the problem is "normal" people avoid people they dont think are normal like the plague. One way is combat this is to try to appeal to the better nature of people but you should find someone like yourself and when two broken people get together it can be rough so you have to prepare for that dating is rough.
  4. Evergreenforst4

    Patience

    Something that I have struggled with and I believe is common for many is patience. I observe this when people are driving who want to drive very fast even to pass others in oncoming traffic lanes or motorcycles weaving through. However, while it may seem we save time by forgoing patience and we get our results quicker it is not without risk and cost. For example skipping education to go straight to a job may seem desirable but they may have less future opportunities without the degree. Perhaps a hard worker would argue that they can rise through the ranks on merit without education but an even harder worker would work and pursue higher education or be awarded an honorary degree. But this is not always healthy. People may expend their health and become ill from pushing themselves too hard too fast or sacrifice those they love. In the worst case, being impatient can cost life and limb of people. This patience can also extend to time with people. Getting to know people can take time and therefore patience is also important. Overall, patience may not seem rewarding initially but I reflect and remember that even the greatest trees were once acorns and these did not sprout and grow in only one day. A civilization such as Rome was not built in a day.
  5. Evergreenforst4

    Anger

    Anger is a powerful emotion and something I often think about. Why do we get angry? I believe we become angry when we percieve something to be an injustice, anger seems to be the natural emotion that flows from this. When mastered anger can be a powerful way to confront injustice but used incorrectly it can have devastating consequences. From my studies I found a proverb 16.32 "Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city." In the midst of anger it can be difficult to think level headedly or rationally. It is important to be the master of your anger and assess the situation. Responding assertively is a good way to handle anger in a non emergency situation. In our society we have people who hurt others because their anger has consumed them. When I feel myself on this dark slippery path, I reflect on what kind of person I want to be. We have a choice to be ruled by anger or to rule the anger. When I feel angry, I redirect excessive anger so that I can be assertive. Also we are not omnipotent and only have one perspective and not the perspective of others which together may give a more accurate picture of a situation. An example is you are angry at a friend because you percieve them to have stolen something when in fact it may have simply been misplaced. Although the opposite could also be true, someone is victim of theft but ignorance is bliss. Because of this we cannot rely on emotions alone to guide us through life because these emotions do not always percieve reality as it truly is but at our core we still must manage the feelings we experience, we need insight, observations and logic as well or people may be misinformed. This is my thoughts on anger. In short it is beneficial to trace a feeling or emotion to a root and whether this root is planted or simply a dead tree that deserves our time and investigation.
  6. Is this forum considered social media? I think it depends on the people who use it.
  7. Hi, someone once told me that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You have said you have a few good moments so the problems you have are temporary. It may help you to try to change the way you think and view problems instead having that be the defacto solution. I learned in psychology that rather that say what not to do, you must say what you will do. You have to find something to replace thoughts you have so you may want to work with a therapist to come up with things you can do to fix your problems.
  8. 季彦霖 选择失忆 Pronounced xuan ze shi yi Singer is Ji Yan Lin and in english the song is selective amnesia
  9. I do see cruel things in humanity but I do not believe that humans are completely evil. Maybe if you have a mentor or someone who you look up to that may help. I don't think humans were meant to be alone, they need interaction. There are billions of people in the world and I hope you can find a good match for you.
  10. Maybe try to think how he feels? If somebody seems perfect and they have a suicidal past, maybe deep down they just want to be loved. Maybe he just tries so hard everyday just to be normal and just wants somebody to love. I had a suicidal past but I was never married. My girlfriend left me while I was overseas in the military on Valentines day because she got with her co-worker. I can't really explain how I felt that day but I feel like a part of me died because I felt very close to her. My advice would just be for people to think and consider before they decide to make a commitment or before they decide to leave someone. Just take a deep breath and carefully consider the situation. I don't know enough to really offer any other advice.
  11. My experience with working is that with most jobs, a big part of the job is being able to get along with other people and control your emotions in a work setting. Does your boyfriend go to counseling?
  12. Try to avoid things that trigger you and come up with a safety plan when you have moments of depression. I feel a lot of pain in sorrow in my life but I try to still live because I have had moments when I did feel joy at time or another in my life and I can't really describe how joy feels but it gives me hope.
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