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  1. You know people like you are the salt of the earth. It's people like you that are the reason lives can be built and Nations made strong and you selflessly helped other and build them up but they don't appreciate you. You don't deserve that garbage treatment. Basically your fiance with an animal brain wanted "high quality" men to mate with and just used you as a cuckhold but the truth is you are the real quality person and shes just running around with worthless deadbeats Please just find someone who believes in you and actually loves you no matter what, you deserve so much more than this crap
  2. Thanos, Epicetus has good advice. My advice is to find a new girl asap just put yourself out there. Some women are jerks because lets face it, a 40 year old women working at a grocery store could easily get a guy. Women are cruel and selective, you just have to accept it but the challenge is you feel like you need that comfort and love as a base to improve yourself and grow but women don't care. They want a 100% self made man all ready no strings attached and they will weigh you, judge you, look at you like a gift horse, maybe friendzone you for a while to try to see if they can do any better. I understand the cruelty in the world. I left my girlfriend because she did not give me the emotional support I needed. I felt like I cut a huge lifeline and took a huge risk but I know that I deserve better and I would rather try and fail than not try at all. In a way I have learned to accept that women are cruel, even embrace the pain. I get mad and I lift weights, its tough love like an alcoholic father who beats his kid to toughen them up. Its a sad dysfunctional way to live but when you live on edge of death and misery you have to find any hope you can.
  3. Hi, I think determining whether you like who you are also means you first have to find out who you are. The author John Steinbeck understanding eachother almost always leads to love but I also think it can apply to yourself as well. Knowing yourself is very important, even military leaders like Sun Tzu believed this. If you want to know more about yourself you can try asking people what they think of you and take personality tests. Ask your husband what he likes about you. No matter who you are there is almost always something good you can say about yourself, find the good things about yourself and understand your flaws and weaknesses and learn to strengthen them or work around them.
  4. Hi Sheen, I have done a lot of martial arts (mostly Taekwondo and Jujitsu) so I have had blows. There is something in psychology called brain plasticity which means the younger you are the easier it is for the brain to heal and form new neural pathways. The top of the brain which is the most exposed is the frontal lobe which has to do with executive thinking and then under the base of the brain there are the most essential functions which are things we often do not have to think about like breathing and other functions. When you have depression, the amygdala can be effected but it is also possible to reprogram your brain. I actually used to be very intelligent and I had a severe blow to my head and trauma in the military and at that time I was very suicidal. I actually remember in the inpatient I would hold my arms up in the sky and I would laugh for hours, people who saw me thought I was psychotic but I was actually doing this to reprogram my brain. Give yourself a chance and also try to be creative because I think it is possible for people to recover from some types of brain damage. Focus on preventing anymore harm and healing.
  5. Hi, I have tried acupuncture and massage therapy. I honestly believe it takes many things to safely get out of depression. Getting massages will help especially if you workout your muscles as it will help them recover so you will get more from a massage if you are working your muscles. I have been betrayed before as well. I think when dating try to find someone you have an emotional connection with. I would make new friends because you don't need back stabbing traitors like that in your life. It is up to you but that is what I would do. I think for every part of your day try to have a mental health plan even if it is as simple as staying hydrated and listening to some good music. You suffered something very painful so the best thing you can do is be proactive for your mental health.
  6. Hi, When I was in the military they told me to sleep as much as you can because sleep deprivation is really harmful for mental health. Getting enough sleep and stayong hydrated will give you more energy. If you have intrusive thoughts try prayer or meditation. Also listening to baroque classical music is good for your brain or try watching self help videos when you feel okay. Sometimes when I feel sad I like to take really long walks and listen to sad Chinese love songs. Maybe have a journal and write you feel before and after an activity so you can find out what helps you. For example for me I realized I did not feel good if I played too much video games because sit too long and feel bad but I also felt bad if I work too much so I find a balance
  7. One important part of almost any job is interpersonal skills or the "soft skills" You have to work with a lot of different people some of them you may not personally like but you have to set prejudices aside to do the best at the job so even if you are competent at the job you might need to work on interpersonal skills to get promoted
  8. I have noticed that relationships affect job performance the biggest one is romantic relationships. If I was you I would have stayed until you got fired because I think then they have to give you unemployment? I don't know but if you had unemployment that could buy you time to get out of the relationship and get back on your feet. You could also try meeting someone who has more resources but is not abusive. That is a difficult situation to be in.
  9. The forums are here for you so you can visit as much or as little, do what is best for you and your mental health.
  10. So you can get people to like you. I think you really just need to be yourself, if you try to be someone you are not then you are going to attract someone who is attracted to what you pretended to be. Like for example, if you are clingy and like to text a lot, then don't court someone who does not text a lot or pretend you are okay with it. I did this and I did not notice since I had other dates lined up but then once I was exclusive I realized it was not enough communication. It is better the be the best cat you can be instead of a dog if that is what you are. The power of just being yourself. That will help you attract the right people and avoid personality clashes, just be real from the get go.
  11. The way I have always viewed depression is like a sad lonely child in your mind. Viewing it as an enemy or suppresding it does not work for me. I ask questions and peel back laters to find the root problems by asking questions that go several layers. Here is an example I feel sad (Why?) I feel lonely (Why?) Because I feel inadequate (Why?) Because I have been abandoned before (Why?) Because I was negative and draining the other person (Why?) Because I need constant reminders they care (Why?) Because people are fickle! (Why?) Because people get betrayed like I do (Why?) Because the fear and doubt manifests itself Then I realize that I just need to believe in myself and trust that I am good enough
  12. Hi Sheen, I think one thing that might help you is to know is you are a human and the people who talk to are human. We are the same type human, with a brain a heart soul and feelings. I saw this quote from a video game that humans are fragile machines. I have my own humaness and brokeness. I am an introvert so sometimes I need to spend time alone to recharge so I don't check the messages. Maybe someone has really good advice for you but they are shy so it takes a while. Maybe you think someone has rejected you when in truth they just had their own inner demons to contend with. When we hate ourselves we distort our world to fit the narrative but I do believe people want to help you.
  13. Hi, I think you have to take stock of your life. Think about good things about yourself, you have a roof over your head and you have positive traits and qualities about yourself. Remember that there are good things about yourself as well. I have dated girls who are curvy before and honestly I would rather date some who is curvy and hold down a job than a size 0 who has addictions. I am seeing someone right now who is curvy.
  14. I always wanted to feel loved more than feeling safe. I would rather put myself in harms way to make someone else feel safe, that is why I liked being in the military, also when I was younger I felt like I did not particularly enjoy my life so I was okay with putting myself in danger. I always fought peoples bullies in school. I just wanted to be loved because in a way I guess that made me feel safe. I would fight in the coliseum just to be loved and adored. My fiance made me leave the military but then she left me, sometimes I just feel like I want to go back to what I know. I have been doing a lot of martial arts so I am thinking of doing the fighting tournaments.
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