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Everything posted by Els1e

  1. I have a rather serious anger disorder (rage-related personality disorder). Runs in my family - dad, grandpa, brother, sister, cousins, all have it. Scary family lol. The only way I’ve found to overcome it is to step back every time I start getting angry, to recognise that I’m incapable of having a rational response to anger-triggers & to accept that the problem is with me. The first thing I do is apologise to whoever I’m angry with, no matter how justified I feel in my anger. It’s amazing how ready people are to forgive you, or to apologise themselves, when you show contrition. I think anger has a lot to do with ego & pride. Those are flimsy, pathetic excuses for getting angry. Even if you don’t feel it (the contrition) at first, you will eventually, & eventually the rage-response starts to dissipate. I rarely get angry these days. Oh – taking ADHD meds also helped a LOT. They regulated my f##ked up dopamine levels & made a world of difference (I’m no longer on them b/c I can’t take meds anymore – long story - but they were vital to helping me re-program my brain). Err, it also took finding someone (hubby) who completely understands me, & who never holds anything against me, to manage my anger issues. I always give him the benefit of the doubt, in any argument. Always. No matter how justified I feel. I always accept that I’m wrong. And he does the same. It’s both incredibly humbling & freeing. Although, for it to work, I think you need to completely trust/respect the person you’re with not to take advantage of you. That’s probably no help at all. Find the perfect partner. Yer right. Gee, thanks. Plus, I’ve cut myself off from the world, at least from anyone who might possibly trigger me, which isn’t exactly a brilliant coping mechanism. Maybe just try to be as open-minded as possible? Anyway, that’s what worked for me.
  2. LOL When someone tells you you look Pulchritudinous (without explaining what that means):
  3. RIP Alan Rickman. It's been a sad week :'-(
  4. Ricky Gervais is hilarious. His Golden Globes monologue & when he introduced Mel Gibson. Brilliant. He k*lled it. Also loved all the comments from people outraged over it (YouTube/news articles). I love outraged people. They're just as funny*. *Edit - Err wait, not that I haven't been guilty of my own steaming-eared, nobheaded outrage on occasion. Not claiming not to be an idi*t or someone entirely deserving of being laughed at :)
  5. Seconded. Can't believe he's gone :'-(. RIP you amazing person.
  6. OMG Hahahahaha Mimi World penis life play set & snip snip penis head play. Oh wow haha. Just looked it up. They were also selling (now removed) MW penis baby baskets, MW penis brushing play, MW penis piggyback baby, MW fake penis microphone & MW animal penis phone. My guess is they had only one English-speaking employee in charge of product name translation, who they'd seriously P***** off & who was close to resigning lol
  7. I delivered a package to the post office yesterday and there was this beautiful Middle-Eastern/Asian-looking woman at the counter, the look I would call the absolute 10/10, asdafaf I was like trying to look everywhere else because if I looked at her I would just go into this trance and kind of stare, but it's awkward looking away so I had to keep looking because you don't look at the wall while having a conversation and I just, I must have seemed so awkward Just end me now~ Señor - I read somewhere (research article) that the compulsion to stare at someone can happen with people who have perfectly proportioned faces. Apparently everyone's perception of 'perfect proportioning' is hard-wired (i.e. instinctive), but only in terms of where on the face the eyes, nose & mouth sit (absolutely nothing to do with race, shape, texture etc). I read that if you see someone who has perfect proportioning, you can go into a sort of trance like state. N.b. perfect proportioning also doesn't necessarily equate to 'beauty' (i.e. it could make someone look like a robot & doesn't necessarily add attractiveness/ charisma). It's happened to me before. With males & females & I really didn't fancy them. I just went into a trance-like state staring at their facial structure, & it was really hard to look away.
  8. I love those big huntsman spiders. When I was a kid, I got freaked out by one & wanted to m*rder it & Mum said something like ‘Don’t do that. The poor little thing, he probably has a wife/kids who depend on him & he’s just trying to catch their dinner’. I know that’s bullsh**. I’m betting the huntsman wasn’t even there at the births (b*stard). But I can’t look at a huntsman now without thinking of a poor, beleaguered, henpecked spider-dad trying to feed his starving kids & make ends meet.
  9. LOL (sorry, haven't been around for awhile) You're such a pr*ck Pess (re never letting your son win anything), I love it haha. Why does he keep playing you? He's not learning. Did I get up off my a**? Short answer - No. There's no long answer b/c I've really done absolutely nothing since that last post. Except lie on the couch & watch (& argue on whovian forums over) past Doctor Who episodes on Netflix. Does nerding it* count? I'll blame the meds, or depression, or whatever other excuse I have lying around. This definitely won't be a well-populated-with-Els1e-posts thread :( Nah, I'll get there. I will. Mood is just super low & the weight-loss paranoia's back (ack). Haha Re whether buggering off is going to achieve cardio brownie points, only if you bugger off at a dead run & don't stop for 10 mins. Hahahahaha re twerking. No it's not the same, but 'twerk off' would sort of work as a combination of both & would definitely count. I'd like to see that lol. It has a nice ring to it, I might try to make that catch on. No one (sensibly) listens to me though :'-( *N.b. That's extreme nerding. Kind of like extreme sports, but pretty much the polar opposite :p
  10. Oh bugger off Pess haha ;). I'm totally kidding, this is a terrific idea. I need a push to get back to regular exercise, it makes me feel so much better. Nothing to report b/c I just got up, but I will really try to get up off my (normally completely stationary) a** today. Amazing effort everyone.
  11. The Expanse series by James S.A. Corey - read the first five books in the series back to back. Awesome. Wonderful. It’s a si fi space opera. Beautifully written & really gripping, for anyone who likes that sort of thing. I have to wait until 2016 for the 6th book though *sniff* . I’m not a patient person. I read that they’ve made a TV series of it (premiering in the US on Monday, 14 Dec) . Hoping it doesn’t take forever to make it to Australia. The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin – the first in a planned trilogy. Really good. Couldn’t put it down. It’s a fantasy novel set on a tectonically unstable planet (they call it 'Earth', but it's not as we know it). Explores issues of prejudice & social injustice in all their vile ugliness, in a really interesting way. I did work out how it was gonna end & how the different threads wove together pretty early on, but I don’t think the author was trying to hide it all that much. About to start The Algebraist by Iain Banks (si fi novel).
  12. This is me whenever anyone mentions American Psycho: My cousin was reading it when it first came out & showed me the 'rat' chapter. I think reading that has scarred me for life. Err, please don't stone me for saying this arts community but... I still can't understand how the author could write that sort of stuff without having some serious issues. I hear it's satirical & meant to be tongue in cheek & I know a lot of people love it but, but...arrrgghh. Arrrgghh. Uh uh. Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. I probably just lack the stomach for it. My stomach isn't American Psycho-proof .
  13. Aw cool, I'm glad someone agrees . It got 37% on Rotten Tomatoes? I've gotta accept everyone has different tastes I think. I mean, RT gave the movie Pacific Rim 72% & that's up there on my 'all time worst movies' list. Can't believe Guillermo del Toro directed it. The praise that movie received baffles me. Maybe I saw a different movie to everyone else .
  14. I've been on this now for 4.5 weeks. I'm having serious, obsessive paranoia problems. They've tipped over into delusions on a couple of occasions. It's also making me really angry & aggressive. I'm finding it incredibly scary. I barely recognise myself. I've no idea if it'll fade. God I hope so. From what I've read, paranoia (incl. psychotic thoughts) & anger are known, potential side effects of this medication. I just did a Google search & this appears to be pretty common. I've been reading posts (on other websites) & it looks like, for some people the anxiety/paranoia goes away, for others it doesn't. Looks like it depends on the person. I'm glad it's helping you mood-wise csd (I'm not getting any benefit yet). Oh, how's your rash side-effect btw? Mine's pretty much gone. At least that's something.
  15. I’m trying to avoid achieving anything today so here’s just some random stuff Rare instance of a cat knocking something off a table without actually meaning to: Examples of worst possible Christmas presents: One of my favourite Malcolm Tucker moments (there are thousands :)
  16. You are very cool anita (you'd be even cooler with blue hair haha - sorry peer pressure ). You've never been in the least bit annoying or boring. Oh I loved your other language (was it in Indonesian?) post. No idea what it said, but I can't speak any other languages & I'm jealous.
  17. lol You've resurrected the bear . How? Oh ok, just copy & paste, duh . All fellow lovers of 'bear love' will be happy. Except this guy haha --> . We don't need you anymore Putin:
  18. I think it's safer to let other people talk for me for the time being - what Martin said:
  19. Not sure. I know at least some of the Sad Puppies nominees weren't in on it b/c they rejected their nominations on that basis. At least some authors were chosen for their homophobic etc views though, including one of the extremist activist SP leaders, so I don't feel sorry for those ones. It is really sad though, for any decent people on the SP list who had nothing to do with their cause (incl. the ones who pulled out). Also sad for those authors who were blackballed by the SPs. The whole thing was sad.
  20. At least you're getting angry for good reasons. I would like to love everyone and feel nothing but compassion for people and understanding of their different points of view, because who am I to judge in this mystery we call life. But some people are just such stupid ******* a******s whose opinions are nothing more than unthinking bigoted ###### that they ruin my good intentions. The ****ers. lol Thanks N. Yeah, I still think those white supremacist guys are total b*****ds. But there's your totally rational/reasonable p**sed off reactions to humanity's pinheads & then there's my current brand of fire-breathing, ear-steaming, rabid insanity . I feel like I need to be confined to a padded cell atm. It's scaring the **** out of me. Me on Wellbutrin --> I just wanna get back to that fun-loving 'general distaste & contempt for humanity', but slightly less terrifying & more moderately grumpy a**, self lol. I can't bring myself to watch this, I might start setting things on fire .
  21. I loved the movie Dark Shadows. Don't understand why it got so panned. I have a thing for Tim Burton movies though. Wish I could time travel back to the late 60s/70s, & just travel around in a kombi van & be high all the time. I wonder how hard it is for Scottish people to put on an English accent. If it isn't easy, David Tennant did a cracking job when he played Doctor Who.
  22. ^ Err, sorry for the above post guys, if anyone reads it. I've got some anger issues on these meds I've started. I lost my anger years ago. Always thought I wanted it back, to give me strength. Now I'm not so sure :(
  23. Fascist, racist, homophobic, sexist, bigoted/prejudiced (ergo highly insecure & ignorant) a**holes. Apparently a Tea Party-type group called the ‘Sad Puppies’ tried to break the Hugo (Sci Fi writer) awards in 2015 by ballot-stuffing nominations, in an attempt to blackball authors who didn’t/don't subscribe to their scary, hard-right (straight, white, male only) views. One particularly vile Sad Puppy leader described a black author as a 'half-savage' & (when questioned about it) said [Edit - deleted - I can't talk about it, it's too horrible to talk about, there are no words, none]. I’m always late to everything. It happened back in August. Luckily there was a backlash against them & a record no. of memberships were purchased by actual human beings, who made sure “not a single Puppy-endorsed candidate took home a rocket” (an unprecedented no. of "No Award"s were given in categories which had puppy-only nominees). Whooo Sad though. Makes me very sad - that it happened & that there are people like that. Like the day I found out Orson Scott-Card (author of my all-time, favourite novel ‘Ender’s Game’) was a homophobic, racist, nongheaded w*nker. That was my first shove into misanthropy. Finding out someone who I’d looked up to, with wide-eyed awe, was an evil son of a b*tch. N.b. I wouldn’t say I ‘hate’ (the above) Sad Puppy people. Hate is such a strong word. It’s more like this…
  24. lol yep, whoever was responsible for opening that bag from the bottom should never be allowed near a packet of chips again. And that cupboard...there are no words. And can someone please confiscate that knife from the maniac with the cake? The world is a terrifying place
  25. Hey Fizzle :) Thanks bud . Yeah I'm ok. The depression's rough but I haven't been panicking/losing it lately, at least. I hope you're doing well also xo
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