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Everything posted by survivingdepression1

  1. I have always struggled with anxiety as well. I try to spend time outside for at least 20 minutes each day, exercise, practice mindfulness, rely on support through online or in person(trusted family/friends) watch fav movies/tv shows, read, listen to music, write...When you are up to it, write a list of things you like to do that are a healthy distraction, then keep the list somewhere so you can reflect on it when you feel your anxiety building.
  2. I saw your message in my emails...just want to let you know your post was ok, I got annoyed with Giseles comments. I am leaving/left for few reasons...just done with this. Wanted you to know it wasn't you though :-) Take care
  3. so, my thoughts on the way it was presented has totally derailed into something else. I'm over it, and done with this forum(s)
  4. I think you could of skipped posting on this topic. Your post is not helpful in any way.
  5. I didn't say the wording had to be gentle, just written differently. A simple direct "no posting images etc"
  6. lonelyforeigner, yes I am on meds for depression/anxiety. Kidsurvivor2011 no, not threatened...maybe just the way it's worded? better way to have handled it...I don't know.
  7. My anxiety is so heightened that even the warning that now appears on every.single.page of this website(The Warning re images etc)...gives me anxiety. I get it, forums need to be respectful, but I feel like it's a looming threat, why bother even posting if theres a chance forums will shut down because of some inconsiderate people?
  8. I feel like I just don't care about very much...which I know is not the truth, but what my illness wraps me in daily
  9. I know so many people that are going through such difficult times. Makes me feel hopeless, scared, darker than normal.
  10. Heavy, hopeless, lonely ,scared. When I hear it's the most wonderful time of the year, I really wish this was true.
  11. exhausted from having to be around people the last few days/be social
  12. I'm sorry to hear that...I really can relate to your last sentence.
  13. I'm sorry, I didn't intend for it to make you feel negative about your journey. The one thing I will say is, when I do experience joy, I appreciate it for all it is...whereas if I didn't have depression, I may just take it for granted.
  14. Thanks to those who responded... It really sucks, to battle this darkness for last 40 years. I have had/have moments of joy, few, and far between. It is what keeps me going... Now, I see it in one of my children, and my heart hurts, but I know the tools will be there much earlier, and they will fight a better fight against this illness.
  15. Thank you goingitalonne/knursingstudent..helps to hear others input/experience...
  16. I'm just curious...what the longest cycle of depression others have struggled through. I have an appointment coming up with my psychiatrist...I honestly can't remember feeling well for more than a brief moment over last number of years
  17. I got 3 hours of sleep last night...better than nothing just hope drinking coffee most the day carries me thru with my kids
  18. when I'm among the normals they need me to be ok they are uncomfortable with the darkness, out on display "so, is it gone, not as bad?"...the pleas come from all around "no, it doesn't work like that, it's an illness...it bounces around" eyes scan over my body, I feel the weight of their thoughts brings me back years ago, when I added more art I could hear them in the background "you never get large tattoos, on her back, that's ok, but her arm, you never do that" I remind myself we all walk different paths, we express in different ways they don't understand, my depression is here to stay "don't read those books, don't watch those movies" I laugh inside they believe those books, those movies make my illness worse but, I am most comfortable with the uncomfortable I feel at home with the ill I welcome the light when I am able, but, the blackness is where I'm most familiar
  19. Thank you Soloviola appreciate you sharing your heart
  20. I'm drowning I'm at the edge of the cliff I have lost years to my illness I have missed opportunities my heart hurts, my head is clouded, my body aches anger is pushed down sadness is a blanket anxiety follows me everywhere triggers are all around memories rush in before I have a chance to take cover I'm trapped
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