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louis2008

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About louis2008

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  1. I don't want to bore you with details. To keep my long story short I have depression and anger for many years that I am still regularly seeing social psychological nurse. Recently I meet a girl who works as a shopkeeper nearby. She isn't perfectly beautiful but she is VERY VERY positive. Her job doesn't require her to act nicely, friendly and politely but she is more friendly, nicely and politely than many many other shopkeepers I have seen. She always talks to me, even if it's small talk, when I go to her shop (She only works for the shop, she is not the boss and I perfectly know that such job has no commission). I cannot control myself from going to visit the shop every day and try to buy something, necessary, or unnecessary. After all, it's only cheap food. I have no plan about her, even trying to make friends with her or introduce myself. She recognizes me, but she doesn't know my name. Local people are mostly not friendly. It's VERY uncommon to tell a shopkeeper my name. We are now between a situation, that is she recognizes me, I recognize her, she talks to me, I talk to her, but that is it. I can feel that we cannot go any further now. In fact, I am not hoping that she will become my girlfriend, it is a dream. However, I just want to be a friend with her. Her positiveness really makes me have some sweety time during my depression What is your advice?
  2. When you hate or dislike someone so much , but you need to keep doing business with them, you have no other options or alternatives, what should I do to manage my emotion? I really hate her because her attitude is so horrible, and I was never being mean or demanding to her, sometimes I would try to ask for bargain for only one time, when she rejects (most of the time), I will not keep bothering her. The last time (and the only time) I asked for bargain was that she sent me a wrong item but shipping back charged a lot more than the single item so she didn't want to afford the extra shipping costs. In fact, I could always request her to ship me the correct item again but I told her to give me a little bit discount instead, and she didn't have to ship me the correct item again. You see, I was considerate to people. I was considerate to both of us, she didn't have to pay extra shipping cost on sending me the new item and getting back the wrong item. She only lost a wrong item and a small discount. Since then her attitude to me has become quite horrible, she probably thinks that I have taken advantages from her. I gave her choices, she could either afford the shipping costs of sending me a correct item and getting back the wrong item, or compensating me a little bit without any shipping. Isn't it fair? But some people in the world never want to be fair. When they have made mistakes, they don't want to be responsible and make corrections, they would even want to get mad on you, but they know they won't do that because they perfectly know that they are earning from you, they perfectly know that they want to keep selling to you, then they resort to giving you bad or ignorant attitude.
  3. To put my long story short, since I was 6 or 7, my father practiced a number of verbal and physical violence on me because of minor things that no one will remember. My mum cried and protected me every time. Since then I only talked to my mum about everything and we lived like this. But after a year or two, he reduced or stopped the violence at all but we did not talk to each other, not even a single word or hello ( definitely not). No one in the family intended to solve the problem and we lived like this for a long time. My father is not educated, but he is never an alcoholic or gambler so his violence on me wasn't because of alcohols or debts. A few years after I became an adult, my mum passed away and for the first few years, we had more talks, but I could still feel a big barrier between us. I feel like I am talking to a stranger, rather than a father. I am never able to tell him my feeling at all. All our talks are only "functional", like "the refrigerator goes wrong". "Brother said he would not come back tonight". We never, ever had even one single time saying "How are you today?" or "What are you doing recently"..... Even we have more talks now, compared to my younger age, we still never look at each other, when we happen to see each other we look away habitually. When we talk or ask questions, we never look at each other in the eyes. I am really not able to tell how I feel. In the past, I once hated him so much, but now, for many years I have already lost my hatred for him anyone, but I am still unable to talk to him like a father, I am not able to rebuild our relationship. Our relationship is like a scar, it's healed, but the scar never goes away. Sorry I have only learnt English for a few years it is not my primary language. Hope I have described my situation clearly.
  4. Is there any scientific or medicine way of handling emotion or specifically speaking, anger, which is supported or proven by concrete data and evidence? Instead of folks or unproven thoughts, beliefs etc.....
  5. I don't want to bore you with a long story and nobody will want to read. In short, I'm living in a very densely populated country where people here are really and mostly bad, mean and ridiculous. This is not a widely accepted view here but it's agreed by many local people. My emotion could easily get triggered by very small matter but I have hard time dealing with it. In reality, you can't start a fight every time or every minute because someone unintentionally steps on your foot without apology, or when someone you don't know looking at you with a disgusting face. This is something that I feel so annoyed. My life is affected. I have been getting counseling here for many years by social workers. However, I don't think I have too much progress. I really wish my life would be changed, my emotion would be stabilized.
  6. My situation is, I could get angry so quickly in 1 second, it happens very often in my city where it is densely populated. However, I understand rules, I understand law, I understand I don't want to put myself into jail. I always try my hardest to stop my anger becoming fire. You read me? 90% people surrounding me are ridiculous, are outrageous. They like doing little things intentionally to just simply make you unhappy, then they are happy. Maybe you are believing that I am just overreacting and every people in the world are not very bad. However, I understand the people of my city very well, just too well. I cannot change them, and I will not change them. How can I release my anger more quickly? Or How can I reduce being triggered, being made angry? Any online reading?
  7. I mean, not your personal experience or feeling or thoughts about how to release. But is there any way or logical method advised by experts or professionals to help release anger quickly? This is my question. Over the years I have been thinking about "How I can release my anger quickly", a lot of thoughts by me and by the other peoplen but none of them likely works. Sometimes I think I should start to stick to "science" instead of just my thoughts
  8. Oh Yes... you read me.... I think I am not stupid, but I often unconsciously reveal my weakness to my "enemy", But we can hide our credit card number, we can hide our ATM passwords, but how can we hide ourselves? What can I do to avoid people understanding me too much??
  9. So, how should I respond to the foolishness of others when they are doing something that you hate so much, when they are speaking something that makes you feel so angry? when they are pretending to be very justified while they are obviously selfish?
  10. Before trying to keep a positive attitude to deal with some ridiculous people, How did you kick away the immediate anger that came to you when they threw you stones? Your idea is a utopia, but in reality most of us can only take small steps. I can't reach your utopia in one minute
  11. Sorry, but from what I understand, you are believing / assuming that I am having problems at the very first time so people treat me badly. When I am peacefully resting and people throw stones to me and I give them sweets, hoping them not to throw stones to me any more? I never see such people, at least in my past many years of life.
  12. To keep my long story short, I just try to highlight the important points. I am living in a very densely populated country where people here are very mean, they are not only mean with their wallets, they are also very mean with their mouth. No matter what you say they just tend to violently speak against you and attack you without the real points, they don't use guns but they like to use verbal violence at anytime, anywhere, without any reasons, while at the same time, they believe that they are very right, and they are very ..justified by all means which are definitely not the true. I have no ability to change the world, however, I want to change myself. I perfectly know that I can get angry very easily and I can become very angry. However, I can't figure out how I can do normally to put away my anger. Local people also get angry very easily but they can just "attack" immediately and say all the bad things with bad mouth in order to make you feel bad. It's their way of releasing the anger. However, I am too weak, I am not able to do that like them... Any advice??
  13. I have a friend, whom we have known for many many years. We have a lot in common, so I have nothing to be envious or jealous of him, and he doesn't too. He has a very very good point that makes him the best friend of mine, and I don't see 1 person who has this good among 1000 people I have ever encountered. However, at the same time, I am not joking. He also has a very very bad thing that , from time to time, I want to get mad with him, I want to shout out loud with foul language to him. and that bad thing also makes him quite unsuccessful in his life. I've told him, explained to him that he shouldn't be like that, but he doesn't change. What do you think? Yes, his good and bad should cancel out each other but people will tend to focus on the only bad thing even if you do 100 good things. Do you feel me?
  14. Thank you for all the kind advice. Good news is she doesn't know I love her so we are still "friends" Bad news is our friendship is getting farther and farther. Good news is I know she will talk to me again days or weeks later Bad news is I don't know what I should talk to her when she talks to me again Good news is I know she may have broken up with her new boyfriend Bad news is She has made me hurt pretty well and I don't feel like telling her how I feel. Good news is I have not failed completely. We are still "friends" Bad news is I can foresee that it will be a long battle....
  15. For the past two to three nights, I could barely sleep. I sleep a while and wake up.. sleep a while and wake up... You feel me? I am so heart-broken, I talked to her, I listened to her, I gave her advice, I told her jokes, but all of them was useless. I never realized that a good girl like her could start a relationship so quickly and easily with an internet guy that is not rich nor handsome. Only after that I realize that she is too "easy", and all she wanted is to hug a man because she is too lonely... You feel me? I feel so heart-broken because I fall in love for a girl that I thought she was serious but it turns out that she is just telling lies. She is just too easy,
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