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louis2008

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  1. I do not deny that I do not always try to avoid conflicts in the first place, but I always try my best not to start a conflict in the first place, which means, a lot of time you cannot avoid conflicts started by the others, unless you live alone 7/24, which is impossible. I still have to earn and make a living, and I can't make a living without dealing with different people, and there isn't a job you can. Do you read me?
  2. When I was younger, I always believed that Karma existed, and such thought really helped me when I am being bullied, attacked or manipulated negatively, I always believed that I would be better tomorrow and those who were unfair to me or intended to make me angry will have their bad time at last. I think it's a good belief, regardless of which religion. But now, as I am getting older, such thought doesn't help me any more, I find that I am unable to be calm down or be less affected quickly when I am being triggered by even very small matter.... This really affects my life so much... I can't really figure out a way of having this problem solved. I am really in great pain
  3. When I was younger, I always believed that Karma existed, and such thought really helped me when I am being bullied, attacked or manipulated negatively, I always believed that I would be better tomorrow and those who were unfair to me or intended to make me angry will have their bad time at last. I think it's a good belief, regardless of which religion. But now, as I am getting older, such thought doesn't help me any more, I find that I am unable to be calm down or be less affected quickly when I am being triggered by even very small matter.... This really affects my life so much... I can't really figure out a way of having this problem solved.
  4. I don't react, but the anger keeps engaging in my mind for long time, and affecting my daily life. I always tell myself not to be angry by thinking that 2 days later there is nothing and 10 days later you will forget everything, but it just doesn't help unless time passes, but the problem is as I mentioned, it takes TOO LONG, longer than normal I am quite pretty sure.
  5. Frankly speaking, I am always a fair person. Today someone got mad at me for something I REALLY DIDN'T DO WRONG. Everyone can conclude that his madness was solely out of his selfishness. It's hard to tell everything in details but in short form, he made an appointment for me for a time, e.g. 4:00pm at a place, I said OK, and then he finished his mess earlier than expected and he came to the place at 3:00pm and kept flooding me with phone messages, requesting that I came out immediately, rather than our agreed time but I always muted my phone and I didn't look at the phone during the time. When I came out at our agreed time, he showed all the horrible attitude and spoke all the rude language. I was shocked, I wasn't able to react immediately, it was simply RIDICULOUS. I didn't react immediately because I know myself well, if I shout back at him and say all the rude language my negative emotion will be largely lifted at the same time, I will not just feel so good or relaxed by scolding at people, but at the same time, I was feeling so angry.... Realistically, everything about him in my life is over, it was a one-time appointment and deal between us and I have nothing else to follow up, I truly understand this, but the problem is I keep thinking about this ridiculous thing in my mind and what I am doing is largely affected. I planned to have a good tea time and bought something after I met him, but I then went back home immediately because I felt that I didn't have this energy to even drink or buy something, and now I am typing this passage here.. Do you read me? I really wish to know how I can get less emotionally affected for someone or something that shouldn't affect me anymore. This is not the first time ever that happened to me...... I tried deep breathing, or thinking logically, but it just doesn't help, I hope my anger will go away faster and my life comes back to normal faster.
  6. Doesn't matter who you are, I'd really like to chat and share my stories and of course, listen to your stories. Through Private message here or email is preferred. I don't often use instant communication apps.
  7. I know that it is recommended to run for every 30 minutes a day to keep healthy. I'd like to know if I can walk (normal speed) for longer time to replace running? How long will it need? Another question is if there is any research or study supporting regular exercise will help depression?
  8. Sometimes my "energy" is very high, but it is so negative that it is practically anger, nothing about doing anything constructive. Sometimes my "energy" is very low, it is so low that I don't even want to go out or buy something to eat. Sometimes, but NOT SO OFTEN, my "energy" is at the "proper" state that I am able to do something more constructive, cleaning my room, tidying up things, changing bed sheets.... But I'd like to emphasize that it's really NOT SO OFTEN. But I always have a very clear mind, I know what I should do. I know I should lift a finger, but I really unable to do so....
  9. Today is not the Day 1 I know this problem and ask a question here. But I think I have a good example today to elaborate my problem. One of my biggest problems is emotion and relationship, e.g. I can get angry very easily For example, yesterday I started a thread on a local forum asking clearly what bus route is the best or recommended for going somewhere, and all replies (a total of eight) said metro is the best and none of them told me anything about the bus route. I found that I am pissed off immediately, I consciously understand that I shouldn't get angry because of these minor matter but I cannot control myself, I feel really pissed off because they are not answering my questions. I feel better if no one is answering me, but I feel so bad when I'm asking whether A or B, I have limited the choices but they tell me C. Do you read me? What is actually my problem?
  10. Forgive me to be a little bit vague, but I have a lot of personal problems, more than you can imagine, I know these for long time, I am aware of my problems for long time, but I am unable to make any real change. One example is, I know I should reduce on snacks, sweets, and junk food because I am really taking too much, I'm a 30+ adult, not a child any more, but I cannot resist any temptation, in fact, these junk foods aren't something really so attractive, are they? I cannot stop myself from thinking these foods unless they are consumed quickly, most convenient foods will be consumed by me quickly within a day, I cannot make plan on these.... When something more constructive, I keep delaying, for example, my bed is so smelly, I haven't changed the sheet for months, but it's really smelly, I have kept delaying on doing this, probably after weeks until I cannot really endure.... I really hate myself, I always know that this is my problem, but even if I know, I am not really unable to make any real change.... And... this is only one of my many problems......
  11. I first got to know her last year, she works in a store near where I live so much, she is beautiful but in addition, she is polite, friendly, and very talkative. I don't know how to tell about her, but she has her own character that makes her so attractive and different. I've fallen in love for her for a long time, but I'm pretty sure that she doesn't know because I have never done anything. But anyway, I enjoy this feeling so much, I enjoy the time when I walk into the store and she says welcome and thank me with her sweet voice when I check out... and sometimes if I am lucky enough, she will have small talk with me.... I feel so happy in my heart.... That's enough for me..... I have no plan letting her know I love her But something happened last week...... I had quarrel with her colleague in the shop, although she came out and apologized to me, I was pretty sure that she didn't understand the whole story. What I have left to her could be a negative impression. Since then, I have still visited the store for a few times and bought something, but she isn't as natural as the past when she sees me, looks like she is afraid of me.... thinking that I am a trouble maker, but actually I am always a fair person... But now, I feel that my love for her is suddenly lost... I don't want to go to the store anymore, but I wish she would understand me......but I am so passive that I will probably never do anything. She doesn't even know my name. Do you read me? It's a difficult feeling
  12. Hi. Why my emotions of gambling won't go away but the fact is I have little or even no emotion of smoking after quitting it for 7 years? I find it so marvelous, that I almost always felt so joyful and relaxed when I was smoking but I could quit it so easily, without any return. However, most of time I am unhappy, frustrated or even mad when I gamble because most of the time I lose money, but I am not unable to quit it... I have tried a lot of time, but when I have saved up some money after hard working, I cannot control myself from gambling....
  13. When you are pissed off but reality is that there is nothing you can do, maybe there is something you can do but it doesn't work effectively. For example, someone intends to make you angry by saying something offensive, ironic or rude, anything, but the result is, you are pissed off. You are not able to think of anything to say to "fight back", and you can't calm down immediately. This is the situation I am almost experiencing every day. Unfortunately it often takes me a few hours or half a day before I feel well again, I have talked to my counselor who is a clinical psychologist but she wasn't able to provide me any life hack or immediate solution. She told me her experience - e.g. to talk to someone, to tell someone, which was her immediate life hack. The fact is - I do not have someone who is ready to listen to me at anytime, people are busy with their life, even my best friend who has helped me a lot he is very busy. Even though he isn't busy, I feel annoyed to explain everything to make him understand. It is a waste of energy . I don't think telling someone is a very effective way of relieving my anger. What is your life hack for calming down effectively?
  14. But the point is - I smoked for 8 years and I was able to quit it immediately and now I am free from smoking. However, I have been gambling for 16 years and of course gambling is having negative impact towards my life, both directly and indirectly. I am not tired of it, but I am not happy about it.
  15. Sorry I do not know which sub-section to put this so please move my topic to appropriate sub-section. I started to smoke and gamble since I was 20, and now I'm 35+. I liked smoking a lot and it was like one pack a day and I quit smoking totally on one day when I was 29, thinking that smoking is hazardous to health and I felt worried, then I quit it totally without any rebounce. Not at all. However, I also started to gamble, and in fact, exclusively on soccer gambling. I do not go to casino (and no casino nearby) , I do not play jockey. I have never won a large sum of cash, the best I have won was $5000 and I lost all of them quickly. Although I do NEVER, ever have debt because of gambling, I believe I am very much emotionally affected by gambling, I know that gambling is a game of luck and probability, but I often believe that it can be analyzed, it can be guessed, even after I have lost a lot of money, I still have this belief NOW. Every time I lost, I give myself reason, I give myself excuse, it never stops....
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