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louis2008

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About louis2008

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  1. Sometimes my "energy" is very high, but it is so negative that it is practically anger, nothing about doing anything constructive. Sometimes my "energy" is very low, it is so low that I don't even want to go out or buy something to eat. Sometimes, but NOT SO OFTEN, my "energy" is at the "proper" state that I am able to do something more constructive, cleaning my room, tidying up things, changing bed sheets.... But I'd like to emphasize that it's really NOT SO OFTEN. But I always have a very clear mind, I know what I should do. I know I should lift a finger, but I really unable to do so....
  2. Today is not the Day 1 I know this problem and ask a question here. But I think I have a good example today to elaborate my problem. One of my biggest problems is emotion and relationship, e.g. I can get angry very easily For example, yesterday I started a thread on a local forum asking clearly what bus route is the best or recommended for going somewhere, and all replies (a total of eight) said metro is the best and none of them told me anything about the bus route. I found that I am pissed off immediately, I consciously understand that I shouldn't get angry because of these minor matter but I cannot control myself, I feel really pissed off because they are not answering my questions. I feel better if no one is answering me, but I feel so bad when I'm asking whether A or B, I have limited the choices but they tell me C. Do you read me? What is actually my problem?
  3. Forgive me to be a little bit vague, but I have a lot of personal problems, more than you can imagine, I know these for long time, I am aware of my problems for long time, but I am unable to make any real change. One example is, I know I should reduce on snacks, sweets, and junk food because I am really taking too much, I'm a 30+ adult, not a child any more, but I cannot resist any temptation, in fact, these junk foods aren't something really so attractive, are they? I cannot stop myself from thinking these foods unless they are consumed quickly, most convenient foods will be consumed by me quickly within a day, I cannot make plan on these.... When something more constructive, I keep delaying, for example, my bed is so smelly, I haven't changed the sheet for months, but it's really smelly, I have kept delaying on doing this, probably after weeks until I cannot really endure.... I really hate myself, I always know that this is my problem, but even if I know, I am not really unable to make any real change.... And... this is only one of my many problems......
  4. I first got to know her last year, she works in a store near where I live so much, she is beautiful but in addition, she is polite, friendly, and very talkative. I don't know how to tell about her, but she has her own character that makes her so attractive and different. I've fallen in love for her for a long time, but I'm pretty sure that she doesn't know because I have never done anything. But anyway, I enjoy this feeling so much, I enjoy the time when I walk into the store and she says welcome and thank me with her sweet voice when I check out... and sometimes if I am lucky enough, she will have small talk with me.... I feel so happy in my heart.... That's enough for me..... I have no plan letting her know I love her But something happened last week...... I had quarrel with her colleague in the shop, although she came out and apologized to me, I was pretty sure that she didn't understand the whole story. What I have left to her could be a negative impression. Since then, I have still visited the store for a few times and bought something, but she isn't as natural as the past when she sees me, looks like she is afraid of me.... thinking that I am a trouble maker, but actually I am always a fair person... But now, I feel that my love for her is suddenly lost... I don't want to go to the store anymore, but I wish she would understand me......but I am so passive that I will probably never do anything. She doesn't even know my name. Do you read me? It's a difficult feeling
  5. Hi. Why my emotions of gambling won't go away but the fact is I have little or even no emotion of smoking after quitting it for 7 years? I find it so marvelous, that I almost always felt so joyful and relaxed when I was smoking but I could quit it so easily, without any return. However, most of time I am unhappy, frustrated or even mad when I gamble because most of the time I lose money, but I am not unable to quit it... I have tried a lot of time, but when I have saved up some money after hard working, I cannot control myself from gambling....
  6. When you are pissed off but reality is that there is nothing you can do, maybe there is something you can do but it doesn't work effectively. For example, someone intends to make you angry by saying something offensive, ironic or rude, anything, but the result is, you are pissed off. You are not able to think of anything to say to "fight back", and you can't calm down immediately. This is the situation I am almost experiencing every day. Unfortunately it often takes me a few hours or half a day before I feel well again, I have talked to my counselor who is a clinical psychologist but she wasn't able to provide me any life hack or immediate solution. She told me her experience - e.g. to talk to someone, to tell someone, which was her immediate life hack. The fact is - I do not have someone who is ready to listen to me at anytime, people are busy with their life, even my best friend who has helped me a lot he is very busy. Even though he isn't busy, I feel annoyed to explain everything to make him understand. It is a waste of energy . I don't think telling someone is a very effective way of relieving my anger. What is your life hack for calming down effectively?
  7. But the point is - I smoked for 8 years and I was able to quit it immediately and now I am free from smoking. However, I have been gambling for 16 years and of course gambling is having negative impact towards my life, both directly and indirectly. I am not tired of it, but I am not happy about it.
  8. Sorry I do not know which sub-section to put this so please move my topic to appropriate sub-section. I started to smoke and gamble since I was 20, and now I'm 35+. I liked smoking a lot and it was like one pack a day and I quit smoking totally on one day when I was 29, thinking that smoking is hazardous to health and I felt worried, then I quit it totally without any rebounce. Not at all. However, I also started to gamble, and in fact, exclusively on soccer gambling. I do not go to casino (and no casino nearby) , I do not play jockey. I have never won a large sum of cash, the best I have won was $5000 and I lost all of them quickly. Although I do NEVER, ever have debt because of gambling, I believe I am very much emotionally affected by gambling, I know that gambling is a game of luck and probability, but I often believe that it can be analyzed, it can be guessed, even after I have lost a lot of money, I still have this belief NOW. Every time I lost, I give myself reason, I give myself excuse, it never stops....
  9. I do not want to bore you guys with long stories and details. Just a simple question: Someone you really hate so much and that you know you are not hating them without reason, they are really Axx-hxxx and do a lot of bad things, but you cannot leave the situation immediately, you still have to work with them or co-operate with them, but your emotion is very much affected. what should you do?
  10. I do not want to bore you with details, I don't think it is easy to tell everything and let everyone understand myself though. In short, I have been living in depression and anger for quite some years, I have been trying to tackle anger, but it is harder than I thought. I very much agree with a counselor I regularly meet, she said that I am very much "attracted" by negative things. I always forget about the good people, or my "detection system" has problem detecting good people and good thing, and remembering good thing, and my "detection system" likes to detect bad things, bad people, bad behavior very quickly, and they do not go away from my mind quickly For example, every time I remind myself not to involve into internet chat fight on social network because it is only time-wasting, meaningless and making me angry and unhappy. I I once gambled, I once smoked, but I could quit these bad things very easily. I am free of gambling and smoking for many years and even if I see someone smoke or gamble, I am not attracted. However, for many years, I am not able to avoid coming into unnecessary conflicts, argues with people, mostly on the web Delete facebook? I did it, after some weeks, I cannot resist installing it again. I am kind of person that I am tempted to read all notifications, I am tempted to leave hateful comment when I read hateful comment left by the others.....
  11. I take an example We all understand that the world is full of evil and unfairness, this is something no one can deny. When nothing happens to us, we understand and agree with it totally But when evil or unfairness happens to us, or when we experience being treated unfairly, we just feel very frustrated, depressed, or angry, even if I remember this thumb of rule immediately, . my frustration and anger cannot go away quickly. Why? Is there a more scientific way of explaining this? Is there a more scientific way of handling this?
  12. I often argue with people I don't know on Facebook or other social platforms for different reasons and shortly turn out to be personal attacks and hate speech I totally understand that I could just ignore them and report to the related admin but I don't emotionally feel better by doing this. I turn out starting a verbal fight with them and this badly affects my emotion, time, and energy I tell this to my friend and some of my positive friends always say to me with things like - Ignore those people -- Don't let them live in your mind rent-free -- They are loser.... anything and anything .... I have tried. I have tried to ignore them, but some of them keep catching my attention, they keep re-igniting the "fire". I think of what I said by my friend, but their wording don't help me a lot. To fight back, it will keep repeating a bad emotional cycle. Wasting time and affecting normal life. Not to fight back, I can feel that anger is building up within me. What should I do?
  13. I don't want to bore you with details. To keep my long story short I have depression and anger for many years that I am still regularly seeing social psychological nurse. Recently I meet a girl who works as a shopkeeper nearby. She isn't perfectly beautiful but she is VERY VERY positive. Her job doesn't require her to act nicely, friendly and politely but she is more friendly, nicely and politely than many many other shopkeepers I have seen. She always talks to me, even if it's small talk, when I go to her shop (She only works for the shop, she is not the boss and I perfectly know that such job has no commission). I cannot control myself from going to visit the shop every day and try to buy something, necessary, or unnecessary. After all, it's only cheap food. I have no plan about her, even trying to make friends with her or introduce myself. She recognizes me, but she doesn't know my name. Local people are mostly not friendly. It's VERY uncommon to tell a shopkeeper my name. We are now between a situation, that is she recognizes me, I recognize her, she talks to me, I talk to her, but that is it. I can feel that we cannot go any further now. In fact, I am not hoping that she will become my girlfriend, it is a dream. However, I just want to be a friend with her. Her positiveness really makes me have some sweety time during my depression What is your advice?
  14. When you hate or dislike someone so much , but you need to keep doing business with them, you have no other options or alternatives, what should I do to manage my emotion? I really hate her because her attitude is so horrible, and I was never being mean or demanding to her, sometimes I would try to ask for bargain for only one time, when she rejects (most of the time), I will not keep bothering her. The last time (and the only time) I asked for bargain was that she sent me a wrong item but shipping back charged a lot more than the single item so she didn't want to afford the extra shipping costs. In fact, I could always request her to ship me the correct item again but I told her to give me a little bit discount instead, and she didn't have to ship me the correct item again. You see, I was considerate to people. I was considerate to both of us, she didn't have to pay extra shipping cost on sending me the new item and getting back the wrong item. She only lost a wrong item and a small discount. Since then her attitude to me has become quite horrible, she probably thinks that I have taken advantages from her. I gave her choices, she could either afford the shipping costs of sending me a correct item and getting back the wrong item, or compensating me a little bit without any shipping. Isn't it fair? But some people in the world never want to be fair. When they have made mistakes, they don't want to be responsible and make corrections, they would even want to get mad on you, but they know they won't do that because they perfectly know that they are earning from you, they perfectly know that they want to keep selling to you, then they resort to giving you bad or ignorant attitude.
  15. To put my long story short, since I was 6 or 7, my father practiced a number of verbal and physical violence on me because of minor things that no one will remember. My mum cried and protected me every time. Since then I only talked to my mum about everything and we lived like this. But after a year or two, he reduced or stopped the violence at all but we did not talk to each other, not even a single word or hello ( definitely not). No one in the family intended to solve the problem and we lived like this for a long time. My father is not educated, but he is never an alcoholic or gambler so his violence on me wasn't because of alcohols or debts. A few years after I became an adult, my mum passed away and for the first few years, we had more talks, but I could still feel a big barrier between us. I feel like I am talking to a stranger, rather than a father. I am never able to tell him my feeling at all. All our talks are only "functional", like "the refrigerator goes wrong". "Brother said he would not come back tonight". We never, ever had even one single time saying "How are you today?" or "What are you doing recently"..... Even we have more talks now, compared to my younger age, we still never look at each other, when we happen to see each other we look away habitually. When we talk or ask questions, we never look at each other in the eyes. I am really not able to tell how I feel. In the past, I once hated him so much, but now, for many years I have already lost my hatred for him anyone, but I am still unable to talk to him like a father, I am not able to rebuild our relationship. Our relationship is like a scar, it's healed, but the scar never goes away. Sorry I have only learnt English for a few years it is not my primary language. Hope I have described my situation clearly.
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