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Kirda's Achievements


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  1. Every time I see a butterfly I have to say something nice to the person I'm with.
  2. I finally found a medication that works for me, Brintellix. It is for major depression disorder but my doctor actually prescribed me it for my panic attacks and anxiety. I grew up military and was privileged with healthcare until recently because I turned 21. The medication cost is outrageous because it is new. I called my doctor to inform them I needed help weaning off and needed samples and they gave me a measly 7pills. I'm having attacks left and right and I'm very uncomfortable ... I saw something called Rx coupons? Can I use a bunch of coupons to reduce most of the cost?
  3. I have an extreme fear of taking medications and I have other ocd tendencies including buying a water bottle everyday for fear of dehydration and buying new milk because if one is open already I fear that my roommates have contaminated it. I have very strong fears of drinking alcohol or smoking which interferes with social events. Worse of all is the medication fear, I'm afraid of taking anything even old meds I have once used. No ibuprofen...benadryl.. Anything. I have been suffering with depression so bad that I researched something called SAME-e its all natural and I like the idea of not having g to take it everyday, just when needed. I also fear this med.. I wanna take it and see if it helps me defeat my phobias and I can move on with my life but I'm scared I'll have an allergy attack, or feel "high" off of it like a downer sleepy feeling or a heart racing feeling and I can't deal with that, I get panic attacks . not sure what to do
  4. I live in florida, rent includes utilities. The bills I pay are car insurance and a phone. My father was military and I am under 24 so I am still covered under tricare a health insurance that allowed me to get the meds I needed. I have yet tried to get any kind of government assistance due to my mother claiming me under taxes, however I do not live with mom, she wont allow it. Me and my brother found this place and it is a subsidized living apartment but so far we haven't even met the renters income qualifications, we don't make enough. He took out a loan so we're trying to see if that will help. The apartment also gave us some sort of gift form that is for if someone signed claiming they would gift us money each month. We also were told of we sort of off jobs form like if I did dog sitting for someone they would vouche for me saying they gave me so and so each month. These forms would help me meet the quota to even qualify.
  5. I'm looking at getting An apartment with my brother, both our living situations are bad and we need to go. This is my first time trying to manage money on my own and I'm not sure if I'm in little over my head but I don't have many, if any, people to turn to to ask. Rent would be for me 380$ and bills I pay are 95$, I make 750$ a month so minus rent and bills I have 275$ to myself. If I get gov assistance for food, can I live off this?
  6. I'm just gonna jump into this. So I have been in a 3 year relationship with my boyfriend. He lived with me. The relationship had ups and downs but recently it got really bad, I felt really unloved I'll spare you the details. I told the boy (marco) that I wanted to start seeing other people but I reassured him that I still loved him and that It is just something I feel like I need to do. Marco was some-what ok with this idea until I actually left with another man. Marco moved out and we didn't speak for 2weeks. The new man is named Benji. Benji is really nice and treats me well but he is 18, I'm 20. That's not a big difference I understand but at this age frame it kind of is. Benji is kind of young feeling for me. I'm just gonna say this....I had sex with Benji, I told him I didn't want to be his girlfriend and he still wanted to make love so we did so. Ok fast forward. I started seeing more people, no sex just hanging romantically. I feel like I learned a lot about life and that I have learned how to love better I feel very refreshed. I ended up calling Marco because I felt as if we ended on bad terms so he came by. Oh my goodness he was so handsome and I felt like I was remeeting him all over again it was wonderful. Marco wants to date me but I'm just not ready for that...Benhi wants to date me and I'm just not ready for that either...I guess what I'm asking is if someone you are casually seeing can not be ok with the idea that I see other people is it ok? I mean, should Benji know I sleep with other people or should Marco know or is that no ones business but my own? Benji keeps calling me his girlfriend and it upsets me, I let him know it upsets me, I do not wish to date Benji and I told him this but it seems I am really messing with his heart strings and I don't want to be that kind of person. I feel sleazy, Like I mess up. I just like seeing the world and getting to know people on a intimate, emotional, spiritual level and I am having fun doing so but I feel like I am ruining the guys lives. Should I just straight up be like "Benji I sleep with other people!" that seems mean, I almost don't want them to know but he does know I don't wish to be his girlfriend. I dunno </3
  7. Update. I got a full-time position at a pet shop and am working towards saving up for a car. I realize now that my fears were only temporary and I am grateful for yall's encouragement :)
  8. Its been awhile since i posted here,i was doing so well up until recently. If you have ever read any of my other posts you would know i stuggled terribly with depression and anxiety. Well i got help, and am now on sertaline a form of zoloft. Saying that the medication has given me my life back is an understatement. I have become quite the social butterfly something i was not capable before and because of this i resolved most of my anxiety issues (for now). However my depression has gotten ahold of me once more and i think stress is a controbuting factor. I am attending a community college and of course the school can get hetic but it is managable, the issue is i don't know what i am doing there. My desired career path is rare and probally is not reachable, i want to work with animals. When i am swallowed whole by depression animals are my saving grace. I do not want to be a vet of any sort I could see myself being a groomer,dog behaviorist,dog trainer for service animals or k9units, something like that. I have talked to my cousler about it but no one including him seems to know what classes to take to for that. I guess a trade school or something specializing in thoes feilds...i do not know. I do have time on my side though because it takes two years to get an AA which is what i am working on. So i. stressed about that issue but more then anything i am stressed about my income and living situation. I do not have a job but am able to know because my anxiety is finally managable but no place has picked me up and when they do i get scared if i am gonna mess up and get fired. I have been fired before its not fun but is life...I just need to generate enough income to find myself a suitable home (house is in forecloser) and im stressed and worried i am gonna fail. I also want a dog badly but not until i have the ideal living situation but wanting a dog is a goal i am excited to work towards because of my depression i havent looked forward to anything in a long time. I just feel all alone in the world you know? School is up to me, getting a job is up to me, everything. My father passed away in dec last year and he was my helper and now feel like im failing life, i have i direction. I have dreams and ambitions but i am missing the steps inbetween to get there if that makes sense. When i type here i type from the heart and fast so i apologize for errors, thank you for listening.
  9. Hello twoheadedboy, that is my boyfriends favorite song how funny. My boyfriend is aware of my anxiety and depression but from time to time I have to sit down and have a serious talk about why I react certain ways. He intensifies my emotions by being so oblivious and selfish at times but we do have our days where I am glad he is here. I want to have that kind of relationship that you have with your wife. The support and cheering on. I think in order for that to happen we do need to have a talk. He listens terribly...he is the kind of person where if I had said "you hurt me" he would say "but I didn't mean to" instead of an apology. I've been told he is that way because he has a lot of growing up to do, not sure if that's acceptable because he is a year older and i do not act that way(he is 20). I do hope we get across this bridge so things will get better for the both of us.
  10. I was told the best way to get over a love is to find someone you love more. At the time I didn't think I could because love takes time to grow but after a couple of years I am happy my relationship turned up the way it did I remember dating a guy who I used to call "the most important person in my life" until a fight and broke up occurred I found someone new who took that importance to a whole new level that I didn't know exsisted. You never know where life takes you sometimes we loose a lot but gain so much more. I'm sorry that this happened I don't know why life gives us so much suffering but I'm praying you perservere.
  11. Thank you for the response. I always do tend to "attack" him to try to fix the problem immediately because it's a uncomfortable feeling and I don't want to feel it for long but if I do as you say by stepping back his action's will surely tell me how he truley feels. I just can't have him making me feel ignored any more.
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