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Everything posted by havehope

  1. Dearest Brian, That's a tough one... I'm sorry! Ugh. Well, there are a few strikes against this right now --- she stated she is not comfortable with you being off work right now and would prefer it if you did have more money. She also has pulled back, a third strike. I don't see anything wrong with what you said, ie, your sales pitch so to speak, since you are falling for her and don't want to see this unravel for the wrong reasons. I probably would have done the same. However, I would be wary about what she has already stated --- these things may still exist in the back of her mind and it may take more communication to clear this up. Your reasons for being off work right now are legit --- and you will get back to work at some point too. If she can see this and understand why this is happening right now, there may be a chance. And it is early on in the relationship and she doesn't know your full character yet, so I think it is good that you tried to connect the dots for her. The money thing... are you going to feel comfortable knowing that she in all truth prefers that you had more? Will you be OK with that? Also, is her own budget a little tight and is that why she wishes you could treat more often? She could just wish that you could treat, but in the end, it may not be a huge deciding factor for her. I think a lot of women still think a bit traditionally --- that the man should treat and take care of the lady financially. This is still deeply ingrained in many cultures. A the same time, women are becoming more empowered and it's much more acceptable that the woman is financially self-sufficient. So she could have both views going on simultaneously? Not sure if this helps any... sorry you're going through some turmoil over this right now!
  2. SG, congrats!!!!!! WOOHOO!!! So glad for you! Hugs, HH
  3. Grrr... I'm bitter that my counseling center went bankrupt. My treatment now is a mess. Getting meds, a new primary care doctor, and a psych doc is proving to be cumbersome and difficult. Why does healthcare in our country suck so badly? I'm very frustrated.
  4. (((((((((((Anita))))))))))))) Hugs!! Hugs!! Hugs!!
  5. What's on my mind right at this very moment is how completely exhausted and depleted I am from trying so hard in my job. It's a battle, it's a chore, it's draining me, it's ******* me..... Trying to get my boss to value my input and utilize my expertise and knowledge I think is going to be the death of me soon.... and I haven't been taking good care of myself as a result. My next job has got to be better, or I don't know if I can make it.... I can't handle this anymore. Bully, tyrant bosses..... wish I could just be my own boss. I tried that once and failed though. I tried to be an online entrepreneur, had visions of making 10K per month online, and failed miserably after 8 solid months of effort. Maybe I need to become a consultant again and have my own clients. Then I could be my own boss. But then you don't get company benefits like paid vacations, sick days or holidays even. It's a tradeoff. I feel like I just can't win no matter what I do. :(
  6. Catbug, sorry you had a panic attack, though good for you for making it through it! And no kidding.... I wonder that same thing myself... that which doesn't k*ll us only makes us stronger, as the infamous "they" out there say... hmm.... does it really? I suppose so? Orso, thank you, bud... you're right that I don't give myself enough credit most the time! So today so far I've stood up to my tyrant, bully of a boss, yet again --- I am going to get her to listen to me, even if it takes ALL of my strength to get through to her. This job is seriously wearing me thin though... it's all I can talk about on the forums lately. Guess I have a lot to vent about!
  7. Awwwww!!! PET THERAPY!!!! We need it! :) Love the pet pictures!!! JD, I used to have a cat that looked JUST like your orange & white one.... his name was Noggin. The sweetest cat ever.... what a great way to wake up! PURRRR... Hi Catbug, (((((hugs))))) Sorry you're feeling so down. :( Keep bugging the social worker! And maybe post your resume online to a few job boards? Not sure what kind of job you're looking for, but that always helped me in my job search so that people would contact me, and I didn't always have to chase them. Hopefully your brother will understand and be compassionate with you!
  8. Awwwww. roadking, what a cute dog! I miss having pets... Woke up with my usual depression this morning. Why are mornings so difficult? And as usual, I don't want to work today. What else is new?!? LOL. I feel exhausted and the day hasn't even begun. I think my job has really worn me out. I need motivation to take this course.. how many times do I need to say this to myself? When will I get motivated to take care of my life?!? I'm frustrated with myself.
  9. Hi Anita, thanks so much for the prayers! I need them.. your message is much appreciated!! :) As for your mom... I may have missed a post but why on earth would she ask you to stop coming to the forum? A place of comfort and support for you? I do hope you stay!! And I'm so sorry about your male friend.. that does hurt. I know it's very painful to have friends leave in your life, and it is a loss to be mourned... but do remember that you have trusted friends still, and that's still a blessing. ((((Hugs))))
  10. duck, I hope your depression lifts soon too --- bit by bit, each day, step by step... it can get better. ((((hugs)))) And thanks, my boss was a at least was more responsive than usual today, which is a positive step.
  11. Not much except I am managing to still work under painful conditions & a low morale.
  12. Hey Pess, nice to have you back, though I wish the report was better. Here's to things looking up for you!!! Yes, nice to see you back Pess! Sorry you've got invasion of the body snatchers going on though. Hope they leave soon!
  13. I don't think I'm getting fired from my job -- my boss just gave me a new ongoing task so that would seem to indicate she intends to keep me on. So irritating though that she still has not responded to my message about wanting to talk about some issues that are making my job and morale difficult. I guess she's ignoring it. I don't know what to do, except to look for another job after I take this course. I need to get going on it asap. Sigh.
  14. Just three more months until I can leave my horrible job & tyrant boss... yippeee!!! Somersaults, cartwheels, hand clapping, dancing on tables!!! LOL Three months is a lot better than five was two months ago... the light is at the end of the tunnel, finally.
  15. Yeah, Brian, it's hard to loosen ourselves from long-term mental conditioning, but recognizing it & seeing it in action is a great first step. Your boss just sounds like a jerk, no matter how much you do to please him, he may never be pleased and will always come down on you. Some people are just like that. Like my boss. She sings my praises to others, but treats me with disrespect. Sometimes I wonder whether she does this in order to keep me driven.... like she thinks I won't work hard unless she's hard on me and critical, to drive me to please her more. I do wonder... And your lady, it sounds like you still don't know the answer to your question about the finances? Maybe try to keep an open mind... your zen approach earlier sounded good.. what will come, will come. If she likes you for who are you inside and what you provide to her emotionally, romantically and companionship-wise, those things will prevail and be much more important. It's still early on in the getting to know you process.... "getting to know you.. getting to know all about you... " reminds me of that song! LOL.
  16. Hi frozen --- thanks so much.... she's actually from India, so I think there is a communication/stylistic difference I am trying to overcome. We did bring in another expert who analyzed her website, so I was thinking of referencing that person's work since she seems to also be ignoring his input as well. I know she respects my expertise on SEO, but I think the problem is that she has a limited scope of what SEO entails, so I need to educate and inform her.... she thinks it can be done after a site is developed, which is not true. It needs to work hand in hand with website development and design. I even told her this when I was first hired, but she seems to forget this. I think what I'm going to do is send her an SEO website design checklist in a chat along with the website developer -- and take the bull by the horns. If I can back up my points using other SEO and web design experts, it may help --- but there's only so far I can take this before I will need to give up and say, OK, do it your way and ruin the business!! lol. And I think this is taking over my life a bit.... Sigh..... I care way too much. It's my Protestant work ethic I think! Brian --- Thanks, and that is excellent advice! "Measures were taken against my advice" -- I love it! I will hold onto that one and keep it in my back pocket! I will try this one more time and see if I can get through to her.. Yet another day where I need all my strength.... Sigh... here we go!!
  17. Dear Brian, I hope your new lady is gracious and accepts your limits... I hope she doesn't expect a sugar daddy. Sigh... looks like you have a solid plan though with your approach. I really hope this works out for you... And thanks, nice to be back. :) And good points... I guess I worry that if I don't keep pushing it with my boss, that this will look bad on me to future employers if the site drops in ranking... I have it on my resume that I got them from Google page 7 to Google page 1 -- she's now ranking #3 for Indian jewelry, the highest ranking to date & an achievement I need on my resume -- if that drops to the bottom of page 1 or even to page 2, it won't look good for me in the end.. this is what is driving me the most. I wish I could just sit back and let the pieces fall where they may.... sigh. But I'm losing the fight in me... perhaps I just need some solid R&R this eve--- tomorrow is a brand new day. Oh! And yes! I will interview the next one as much as they interview me, without a doubt! :)
  18. Long and emotional day. My boss continues to ignore my messages about the website redesign and getting me involved so we don't lose rankings or traffic through the process. She just doesn't get it. I want to give up the fight. It feels like a losing battle. I feel like crawling into bed and it's only 6 PM.
  19. I'm thankful for the help of others.
  20. Hey chris, no worries... and don't regret your post. :) It's OK... it's very bizarre stuff that I don't know how to handle or what to do about so I let it lie. Perhaps as it should, for my own mental health.. and as you said, I already have enough on my plate! Big hugs to you, HH
  21. Crapola. Just learned that I cannot see a new therapist until January. And it's not a very convenient schedule, so I may have to shop around. And I may need to have my meds managed by my primary care doctor rather than a true pscyh doc. This is no good. Wish the old counseling center hadn't gone bankrupt! What a disaster. Four therapists too in one year because of their internal instability. My treatment has been slowly falling to pieces. Off soon for a weekend out of town --- a much needed break! Hugs and much love to all!
  22. My fighter spirit is back today --- hooray! This is what I need in order to survive and thrive... I've been missing it, it was gone for a while, and finally today I have a surge of energy to kick butt in my job. Can't wait to get away this weekend for a much needed breather. And hopefully this fighter spirit will stay with me... I need it in order to push forward with my career plans so I can get out of this God awful job... I need this energy to propel me forward. Onwards and upwards!!! Perhaps this burst of renewed energy is because it's Friday??? TGIF!!
  23. I've accomplished getting my fighter spirit back to prove to my boss that I am a true professional despite any low morale I've expressed.
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