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Valgomoms

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Everything posted by Valgomoms

  1. Being an introverted person, it is always difficult for me to talk a out my feeling and my true self to my therapist. I'm afraid that she's going to judge me or that i'm not normal thinking or feeling a certain way. But when i do it, I'm happy i did it. Before my session, i always do a little prayer and ask god (or universe) to let me open my heart and help me be my true self. Hope this help you for your session!
  2. That my AD are starting to work and that i am able to breath again!
  3. It doesn't mean it will take a long time to get better. You could be surprise! I really think therapy helps me A LOT. Just to make sure i don't fall for the same behaviors and to understand why i'm isolating myself that much. Keep your hopes high. Yes, you can get better!
  4. Hi Char12, You got me scared for a moment! I posted my message (below), and i coudn't find it anymore. I realized that you posted at 2 different place. It will be confusing, i think. Anyway, here's a copy of my other post! You are not alone in your situation. It took me 5 years before seeking help! I was trying to convince myself that it was not depression. It was everybody's fault why i was feeling this way. One morning I woke up and i wanted out. I told myself that if it was life, i don't want to go on, it's to difficult. So it was a wake up call for me and i went to the doctor. It was 6 weeks ago. They say it takes between 4-6 weeks to feel the full effect of the medications and after 6 weeks, i can honestly say that i am feeling so much better. I don't know why i waited so long. I have more energy, and i feel that a fog lifted from my brain. I just see things clearer. But i realized that if i was in this situation, it's because of the way i behaved in life. I never say no to anybody, it feel it's my responsibility to make people happy, i was taking the whole world on my shoulders. So i decided to combine the meds with therapy, because i have to change not other people. If i don't want my depression to come back, i have to take charge of me. So, the 2 together help me tremendously! I really advise you to seek help. This is not a way to live, we can make ourself so much happier and life can be easier and a lot more fun! Don't hesitate if you feel like you do. I was like you, a lots of ups and downs. Now it's getting better. I still have anxiety but i work on it. It's just that my head has such a strong will! Wishing you the best!
  5. Hi Char12, You are not alone in your situation. It took me 5 years before seeking help! I was trying to convince myself that it was not depression. It was everybody's fault why i was feeling this way. One morning I woke up and i wanted out. I told myself that if it was life, i don't want to go on, it's to difficult. So it was a wake up call for me and i went to the doctor. It was 6 weeks ago. They say it takes between 4-6 weeks to feel the full effect of the medications and after 6 weeks, i can honestly say that i am feeling so much better. I don't know why i waited so long. I have more energy, and i feel that a fog lifted from my brain. I just see things clearer. But i realized that if i was in this situation, it's because of the way i behaved in life. I never say no to anybody, it feel it's my responsibility to make people happy, i was taking the whole world on my shoulders. So i decided to combine the meds with therapy, because i have to change not other people. If i don't want my depression to come back, i have to take charge of me. So, the 2 together help me tremendously! I really advise you to seek help. This is not a way to live, we can make ourself so much happier and life can be easier and a lot more fun! Don't hesitate if you feel like you do. I was like you, a lots of ups and downs. Now it's getting better. I still have anxiety but i work on it. It's just that my head has such a strong will! Wishing you the best!
  6. My meds are kicking in and i feel better after 6 weeks. I work with a therapist and i am really trying to be more positive and to see the good in things, which is difficult with my depression. I've been married for 19 years to a highly negative and critical husband. All he sees is the negative in everything and he talks against others people all the time. I know i can't change him. Believe me i tried for 19 years and i stopped when i realized that i can only changed myself (only a few months ago). It's wearing me down a lot. It drains your energy. How can i keep my spirit up and stay focus on the positive when my husband is depressing? I am starting to find a few activities outside my marriage with positive friends and family, but when i come home and i'm happy, i have the feeling that he is trying to bring me down with him by criticizing my activities or by being so negative that after a while i get mad and i feel negative myself! How can i stay myself and protect me against his negativity, if it's even possible?
  7. I didn't realize that people would mostly post only the good parts and not talk about the less good ones. I don't know why i didn't realize it, because i'm like them too. If i post something, it will be only the fun things i do! I have one Facebook friend that will post everything about her life. And let me tell you, she's a busy person! She goes out all the time with her family. Music shows, theater, weekend get aways, ... But ALL the time. She posts everything and when you see that, well your life seems boring! Thinking of it, i never saw any negative post. Her life looks perfect without any problems. Never thought it was not normal.
  8. I'm at work, but i'll watch it during my lunch time. The more I think about it, I realize it's not only Facebook. It's all the computer technology. Sometimes, I think that I have an overload in my brain (it's going to explode) because I am on my computer way too much! Too much information. And Facebook doesn't help. Either I try to find balance in my life with it or I'll take a long break and see how I feel. A guy wrote a book about it (don't remember the name). He stopped going on internet for 1 year. At the beginning he felt awesome, free and was enjoying life again. But after a few months of this, it grew old and he missed something. At the end of the year, he came to the conclusion that his friend and everybody he knew was on internet and if he wanted to really have contact with them, that's how he should live. That life as he knows it is on internet. I think it's kind of sad!
  9. Thank you all for your insights! Wonderful replies. The TwoWindows: What you say resonnate with me. So often, I feel that my head is going to explode, and I know that going on internet (facebook, internet in general) makes me very anxious. I have a feeling that I have an addiction to computers. I can't help myself going to see if I have new post, what is going on with people, emai, weather,... It's just too much! It's like if my life is now in my computer and not outside with people. I have to really think about it and see what I should an can do. Thank you!
  10. How do you feel since you deactivated your account?
  11. It happens to me once in a while. Usually when I am very stressed or have anxiety. When I calmed down, it seems to come back to normal. How long have you had this? Do you have more stress in your life lately?
  12. Well, I think my expectation are to high, like Adrianna mentionned. I really don't post often, but when I do, I expect a lot. I guess it's a way to have attention or being validated.
  13. How much do you think Facebook (or other social network) damage your self confidence? I honestly think to delete my account. I feel drawn to check my wall all the time and when i don't get any replies or any PM, i get very anxious. I have that thought that nobody really cares about me if they don't write to me. I don't think Facebook helps for my inner peace even if i try to tell myself that 99% of my Facebook friends are not really friends, i can't help myself feeling rejected if they don't reply to one of my post. How do you feel about social network and self confidence?
  14. If your looking to uplift your mood, I heard about Omega 3 Joy. I was thinking about taking it with my AD.
  15. I posted this on the Co-depency thread already, but I have a feeling that not a lot of people goes to see it, because the last person that replied was in february, so I am posting here: I am acutally reading "co dependent no more". She says that co denpency does not necessary applies to someone living with someone having a chemincal substance problem, having a problem with substance or was raised with by family where you had chemical substance abuser. (I hope it's clear, I'm french so bare with me please)! She said that if you were raised in a very controlled environment or by someone who critisized you a lot, you can become co-dependant. This is my situation. My husband is not an alcoholic and nobody in my family is. BUT, I have all the signs and symptoms of a co-dependent. ALL OF THEM! But when I read on internet and in here, people seems to say that if you are co-dependent, you live with an alcoholic or you are one yourself. Even if i don't live with an alcoholic, I try to save him (from his anger, control,...), to control him (I want him to act in a way that will make me feel happy), to change him (negativism, anger, ...). If he's not happy, i'm not happy. If I try to think for me ant put boundaries, I feel so guilty. And the list goes on and on and on... What do you think?
  16. I am in a situation very close to yours. I've been married 19 years and I woke up about 2 months ago when my husband told me that he wanted to spend 2 months in Dominican Republic next winter and that I was not going to bully him into not going. Even if I didn't want to, he was going. I just woke up, RIGHT THERE! I remembered all the time he did me wrong. Criticism, the hurtful teasing (he says it's only jokes, i'm taking things way too seriously), humiliation in public (nothing major, but always turns attention towards me to make people laugh),... Yes, i'm still in the relationship (not proud of it). I just don't have the strenght to leave him right now. Just can't. I decided to start working on myself 1st and see where it gets me. I'm seeing a psychologist and working very hard to put boundaries. I'm just beginning. Anyway it will be for better or for worse. If i can finally put my foot down, and he accepts it good for me. And if he doesn't like it (which i suspect will happen) he will find someone else to torture. I think your very brave to look for another job and leave him. It's very difficult to leave people like them. They have such a control over you with time. Keep looking and let me know how it goes!
  17. I don't know why, I coudn't edit my other post, but it continues here: Btw, I don't think Facebook helps me with my problem. If I post something, I get anxious because I compare the number of replies I get with my other Facebook friends and if i don't have enough for my taste, I tell myself that people don't like me very much and my other friends are better than me. Cwaaazy...
  18. I started with 30 mg and the 1st 4-5 days, I had nausea, diarrhea and was feeling very dizzy. It all stopped after 5 days. When they switched me to 60 mg, I didn't have any symptoms. Hope it helps!
  19. I envy other person (man or woman) when they show confidence and have great personalities. I feel so awkward all the time that when I see people who are comfortable in their own skin, it makes me very jaleous! I compare myself to other people all the time. Low self estime...
  20. I'm thankful that my husband brought me an iced cappucino at work.
  21. Thank you for these reminders! I tend to forget about them when I'm feeling anxious or afraid. So simple but how effective!
  22. Hi Starrykitten, I am in the same boat as you, meaning telling my boundaries (limits) is very difficult. One thing people told me is when you start putting boudaries, people will get angry because they are not use to it. Your parents might be offended but it is not your responsability. Nobody like to hear the word "no", but it's part of life. Yes you'll make sure to come back to them, in a decent time, but not now. If you can, tell them a date. Don't say: One day i'll come back to you. If they have a date, it might secure them and give you some time. But make sure to stick to your promise, so try to be realistic with your date. Just remember, that if you don't talk to them, they will continue to call you...Good luck.
  23. I saw my therapist yersterday and we focused on that problem. She helped me a lot. Yesterday I was very confident about being assertive and working on my boundaries. But this morning it's another story. I am in a panic mode. I don't feel that I can do it. I have the same feeling as if my life was in danger! I am shaking all over, just thinking about standing up to people. My brain can't conceive to put my feet down and stand up for myself, because I lived my whole life pleasing people and not arguing with them because it's not okay to do so. I have to think about others feeling first. That's how I was raised anyway. So just thinking of doing otherwise is like a threat right now. I don't know if I can do it. :verysad3:
  24. I think the fact that you are learning to do it and that you feel it's okay if people are not please with you, prove that your in the right track! I can't wait to be there myself. If I could just stop shaking just by thinking about it...
  25. Your absolutely right! I think I'll print your post and put it in every mirror in the house, just to make sure I don't forget!
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