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Posts posted by Valgomoms

  1. What kind of social skills ? You want a buffet of women. Perhaps you are running into women who also want a kickass in every way, man. Nobody is owed other human beings. * looks for hidden camera *

    I'm not following you. You say you feel alone but you don't want a serious girlfriend? You would rather date 2-3 woman at a time and choose between them if you feel like it.

    I don't want to sound to harsh, but that's not life. I understand why you feel so depress because you have that fantasy in your head and you can't live up to it. First of all, what do you think these women will say? that's it's okay if they share you? How will they feel when they learned that you used them for your own good?

    I have a feeling that you don't want to get too close to a woman (that's why your avoiding a close relationship). Are you scared of being rejected? Is it why you want a lot of women around you, so you'll be the one to reject if it has to happen? You'll be the master?

    Sorry, but if you continue to see relationship that way, your in a hell of a ride!

  2. I'm 5'9" and my husband is 5'7"! Okay, I don't wear high heels anymore by respect from him ,but i don't care.

    I've never looked at the physical part, ok a little :Coopwink: , i have to be physically attracted to the person, it's important. But not to the point of refusing to date someone who is smaller than me.

    I think most women will fantasize about a tall, muscular man. Like guys will fantasize on a pretty, skinny blond! But the reality is something else. When you meet someone and you fall in love, all these little physical subtilities are not important anymore.

  3. I need your input to see if I'm minimizing what happened or if it was really a big deal.

    I'm 43 now and lately, I'm reading a lot about children emotional trauma. And that brings me back to what happened to me when I was 10-11 years old. I am not blaming my parents, because I know they did what they could do with their own emotional problems.

    My dad left my mom when I was around 11 years old. Yes, I know that all children from divorced family have to go through a lot of abandonment pain. And I guess I was no different (don't remember).

    1 or 2 years later, my mom left me so I had to live with my dad, because she met a guy and was moving with him. They were moving in a small village, so my mom didn't want to take me with her because it was too far. And anyway her boyfriend didn't really like kids. I got to see her once or twice a month.

    Living with my dad was a challenge because my stepmother was very controlling and critisized me a lot.

    But my question is this: When "both" parents leave the kid at one point, do you think it can leave emotionals scars? I had people asking me if I had a hard time coping with all this, and I honestly don't know what to say. I don't remember feeling any pain about all that.

    Thanks for you input!

  4. Hi Louise,

    I'm really sorry that your going through all this stress right now.

    I would really advise to see a therapist. And no, they won't think you're crazy! Sometimes our brains can play weird tricks on us, but the right medication and professional help can do wonders.

    Or sometimes group therapy for anxiety could be very good. You see that your not the only one in your situation and they give you tips on how to manage your anxiety.

    The first step to seek help is the hardest. After it's a lot easier!


  5. I do hope it helps. I was also recently tested. (psychiatrist referred me to an evaluating psychologist): 2 days worth of tests.

    I am currently taking Strattera.

    I believe my depression has been exacerbated by undiagnosed AD/HD-Primarily Inattentive type.

    There are a lot of resources at CHADD.org and addresources.org.

    In addition to the meds, you ought to try to get some support--either a therapist who specialises in ADD or a coach. And if neither of those works for you, there are lots of books with good suggestions about how to make your life better.

    I just ordered a book about it.

    Yesterday the worse experience happened to me.

    I was driving tonight and i saw a traffic light maybe 500 meters from me. First thing i know, i'm coming back to me, the car is stopped in the middle of the road and I'm waiting for the traffic light. But the problem is THERE IS NO TRAFFIC LIGHT, where i'm waiting!!! It was far away from me.

    I completely zoned out! it was dark and other cars were passing next to me.

    First time that i lose it at this point. I started my meds this morning and I guess they worned out by 9 pm.

    But, come on, i'm getting dangerous for myself and others when driving. It really scared me!

  6. My therapist told me that I should get in touch with my creativity. It was so hard for me because, I ALWAYS told myself that I had no imagination.

    So I went for it. I always admired people who painted. So I signed up in a creative painting classes, bought the WHOLE wang bang (brush, paint,..) and started painting!

    Omg, I can't believe it and people either. I am so good at it! :Coopyahoo:

    When I paint, I'm not in my head or in my body. So it's a big relief for me to be able to escape like this. And the feeling last for a long time also.

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