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cbutterflies

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Everything posted by cbutterflies

  1. "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light"

  2. Ok - found out she has started self harming again. Not really sure how to approach this She's in therapy and on antidepressants
  3. Hi.. My sister is really struggling atm. So much so that other people are contacting me saying they are worried. I think she may be considering suicide - what can I do to help her? I know what I needed when I was in that position but when it comes to others, especially my sister who I'm not too close with, I feel lost! Any help would be appreciated. I don't know how to help. I may go home from uni this weekend just so I can see her x
  4. (trigger warning on whole post) Hey.. Recently I've been acting out my death quite a lot. For example, I'll be sat in my chair and pretend I've slit my wrists and someone comes and finds me. or I'll be in bed at night and I'll act out a scene where I've just woken up in a hospital bed after attempting. Sounds crazy I know.. what could this be/mean?
  5. mg1 - thank you. I hope things get better, I guess these things just take time x
  6. WorkingHard - thank you. I'm not really feeling much better but I'm doing ok :)
  7. I definitely agree that being friends with her solved a lot of issues - took me away from them if anything. Then with time apart I remembered all the bad. Thank you. I feel really positive about getting back into therapy and can't wait for my next session :) x
  8. Everything you have written describes me perfectly. Even the nice, positive things you said about yourself.. I am all of that too. I want to ask so many questions. I want to know if she missed me. If she still loves me and really wants me her life. I told her today how loads of girls dislike me and she said 'except for me' and I didn't know what to think. She has every reason to hate me. I'm so confused and anxious all the time but when I saw the doctor he said I was stressed and anxious but needed counselling. So here I am. I think I may have anxiety but I'm not sure.
  9. Can anyone relate.. I've gone so in on myself that I don't know how to be more 'me'. I feel so low and not worthy, and there's so much I want to say but I can't say it. I've spent so long unhappy and stuck that I am unhappy and stuck. I'm not sure how many of you remember, but I had a fall out with a friend last september. Today we spoke and made up, and everything felt normal. I was so anxious and shaky to begin with. I'm still racked with guilt, but I asked her about it and she said we're talking, we're normal, there's nothing to talk about.. (I guess I'll have to talk about it on monday to my counsellor). But yeah, being friends with her made me happy and funny, I felt more alive than I ever had done. Then when I lost her I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't move on with my life, not without her. Well now I feel like I've f*cked myself over. I'm not me. I want to cry and I want to scream. I don't want to be me :( I'm so tired of being me. Shy, boring, troubled. I want to quit but I don't want to disappear forever. I feel like everyone has problems but no one feels the way I do.
  10. How interesting that you keep frogs! They are so adorable. Who'd have known they'd have such personality on too, they even look like they're smiling! :)
  11. Thanks for this! That picture of you in SF is great :)
  12. thanks for all the advice guys.. have to be up in 8 hours for it so am going to bed. you're all wonderful people thank you so much x
  13. hey everyone! I'm not really back from my 'break' but just needed some advice.. I saw a doctor last weekend and he said I was stressed and anxious and would benefit from some counselling, he assured me that the counselling 'team' at my uni are good and that I should get in contact, so I did. I have a session next monday. there's so much I need to say but I'm scared to say it all - I don't want to be judged for certain things.. e.g. using a fake profile online and other things.. what do you think? I used to tell my therapist everything but I'm only allowed six sessions with this counsellor then they try and find you someone else. thanks! xx
  14. I'm sorry I'm going to have to close the tab because all of your nice comments are just making me cry more. Thank you so much Cerism, I don't know how good of a person I am but your comment is so nice. I wish I could tell you all everything but it's too painful and it hurts and it's just made me cry so hard. One day I think I'll be able to reveal all, but for now I'm going to try and sleep and forget for a little while. Welcome to the forums, there are lots of lovely people here x
  15. I'm watching youtube videos in hope they will send me to sleep. A lot of people find crying to be therapeutic but not me. Thank you so much x
  16. I texted her when I shouldn't have but all I want is to know she's alive and willing to talk to me
  17. hey, I hate tonight (although, men in black has just started on my playlist and that's picked me up a bit!). I've had a bit to drink and my head's all over the place. I'm just in tears in bed. I miss my best friend so much and I hate myself so much for hurting her. I wish this would all end. I don't know what to do, there's nothing I can do, but crying surely isn't helping. but I haven't cried about this in ages because I just couldn't.. I just self harmed and beat myself up but now I'm crying and should I keep crying or cry it out? crying always makes me feel worse sorry for the post, I'm just so sad lately. me and this girl were considering moving in together and going away together that's how close we were and I ruined it all I just wish there was someone I could talk to
  18. thank you. I agree, friendships are a tough area.. unlike most occasions with family, once you have lost someone it's not guaranteed you'll get them back.
  19. Thank you all so much! not just for your lovely comments but for all the help you provided me with before when I was struggling with this situation. I love you all for taking time out of your lives to comfort me. the situation isn't perfect, but it's something better than it was before. xxxx
  20. hey everyone, I finally feel a little at peace. The best friend I would always post about who didn't want me in her life anymore for fair reasons messaged me an hour ago and said that she does and doesn't feel ready. I'm going to give her time, but we spoke. For the first time in ages. I feel like I can breathe
  21. Yeah, it does like you haven't met 'the one' in terms of therapy yet. If you don't feel comfortable opening up after a good few sessions then that's a sign you should perhaps look elsewhere. I hope you find someone in a similar situation as you. If not, I'm sure there must be other forums/sites online where people share experiences like yours. xx
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