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deepblueseesaw

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  1. I've been skipping school recently. It started that I didn't do the homework assignment. I can focus on my homework, but only when I'm out of the house. Because the house has a lot of negative energy, abusive parents; it's just depressing, so I can't focus, even if I'm home alone. But, if I get out of the house, like going to the library or a Starbucks, then I can concentrate. But my parents think I'm just being stupid for this, so they don't try to accommodate me and drive me to the library. So one day like 3 weeks ago I skip a day because I didn't do my homework. Well, I ask my parents to drive me to the library so that I can get stuff done, but they think that's a waste of time since in their minds there's nothing wrong with doing it at home, so I can't do anything. So now I have two days of work not done, so I want to go even less. Then I started going on and off, my parents still refused to take me to the library, and it ended up being 5 days. Then I missed 5 more because I was out of town. And now I've missed 5 more these past 2 weeks because I'm so far behind. I went to school a couple of days, and I didn't understand anything the class was doing. It made me feel really stupid. And the teachers just think I'm lazy because none of my work is getting done. So I don't want to face these teachers who think I'm a huge disappointment/failure. But now I need to at least go to class because otherwise I'm not allowed to do this program I want to do next year. I met with my guidance counselor today and she said that I don't even have to start on the work, as long as I go to class I can do the program. But even she thinks I'm really lazy for not doing my work. None of them understand that if I'm at home I can't get anything done, and if I'm out of the house then I can. I convinced my dad to let me go to the library today because I said I wanted to look at some books, and I took notes on a chapter of history. I was a lot slower than usual, but I think that's just because I'm sort of feeling overwhelmed by all that I have to do. So to combat that I'm setting really low expectations for myself- that I only have to try, not that I actually have to make up all the work. Anyways does anybody have any suggestions? It's totally hopeless to do work at home- trust me. I need ways to get out of the house, convince my parents to drive me places (because you can't get anywhere in this town without a car and it makes me feel trapped- part of why I'm depressed).
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