InfinateandDistant

Howdy, I'm back and freaking stronger than ever. I don't know what to say other than me making the surgery my b***h. That's right. I was wide awake within 3 hours after the surgery. The following day I was already sitting upright. I'm sitting in a chair now that I moved myself into. Read my posts and you'll find me talking about my prosthetic leg which makes it twice as difficult for me because I only have 1 leg to lift myself up into a standing position but I did that the day after surgery. The doctors said that all heart surgery patients are in the hospital for at least a week. They told me that as soon as my heart has a natural rhythm when I'm sleeping they were going to send me home. How freaking awesome is that? I've had too many surgeries that this was like a walk in the park.......lol. Thanks for the positive energy and me being blessed. You just have to admit life isn't always a problem or a terrible thing.

Hi everyone. My name is Curtis. I've been having trouble with my heart as of late and now I'm scheduled for open heart surgery tomorrow at 1 pm. I've been thinking about death, life, pain and insecurities. I find myself instead of being alone without family, I have so many strangers that have opened their hearts and accepted me and actually care about me and for me. It's somewhat difficult to write this in tears. I'd like for everyone to open their hearts and become a miracle for someone else. Its not difficult to be that 1 person to put a smile on the face of a hurting soul. I'd like to end with if you open your heart, love will find its way in. Life is a gift. Please don't waste it. Peace and love always.

Sober4life, Thank you for letting me know that the things I write are being of service to whomever reads them. I personally think that with a little encouragement and positive thinking from others in our lives instead of the dog eat dog world mentality, the world we live in would be a better place. I started another thread today talking about how I had saved a man's life. When I 1st became homeless 3 years ago, a gentleman walked up to me, hugged me and he said, "I'd like to thank you for saving my life." I was floored because I never thought that we had ever met or talked. He explained to me the conversation we had at a watering hole. Sometimes life brings us hope when we least expect it, even from strangers. That guy said he remembered me because of my artificial leg. He knew about it and also knew that I worked a full time manufacturing job supporting myself. He thought that if I can do it, he can too. How powerful is that? You can do it too. I'm offering a little encouragement to you. If we don't stand up, we'll never be counted.

Ma'am, I don't think what you said is true. Hope is something that we all have that no one can take from us. I have an artificial prosthetic leg and I know about being broken or not able. The trick is set it in your heart and soul to never give in or ever give up. No matter how many times I have fallen, which has been almost extreme, I have always gotten up on my own without physical help from another giving soul. It's a small part of myself that I'm proud of. I hope that you have a great day and find things that brings you peace and happiness.

I started the day, just like the last 2 days and that's binge watching the Good Witch on a video entertainment service. I do this to keep my heart open and hopefully feel the emotional missing peices of my depression and/or anxiety. It gives me hope to take the next step in my journey. I hope who reads this is feeling inspired to find substitutes like another free video service that anyone can upload videos of things like paying it forward or motivational speakers. Thank you for taking the time to read my thread and I hope that everyone knows that we're all here to help and find comfort. Have a great day everyone. Peg

I'm not sure. I sort of feel like I'm walking down railroad tracks in a tunnel and I don't see light at either end of the tunnel, keeping in mind that I have a prosthetic leg and not able to excercise much. I guess I'm more afraid of dying in the tunnel from unknown reasons alone and unloved from family or even a single friend that I don't have.

Hi, my name is Peg. I was on here a few years back, found wonderful support and I please need it once again. Is there anyone that happens to have any experience with fear of dying alone and unloved, who doesn't have any living relatives any longer? That's the situation of fear that I'm currently in. I didn't think that I was a bad guy with issues but it seems that I do. Any criticism is appreciated and advice is most welcome. Thanks for reading and have a good day.

Howdy, what's up with everyone? Curtis

Mr. Lonesomecowboy, The 'Teal Swan' channel is by a woman that is a spiritual advisor, not a religious per 'se. I personally think that you should watch as many of her videos you can muster. I thought of my life just as you are now. I have a lot of physical ailments that aren't disabling on their own, but when you put them together, I'm really messed up physically. Welcome to the forum. First and foremost, I'll be your friend until the end, no matter what. I'd like to suggest a YouTube channel by the name of 'Teal Swan'. No, I'm not advertising anything for anyone. The things I'm fixing to suggest are the same things I did. I was once in the very same boat as you. I tried going to the doc's, getting all types of prescriptions like testosterone shots, phentermine for diet, high blood pressure meds, bone inflammatory meds, fibromyalgia meds and depression meds. All at the same time. I took them for almost 3 years constantly, every day. Then I started doing my own research about all of my issues online in various places. I'm willing to bet you a dollar to a dog biscuit if you do it, and do it honestly without cheating yourself, you'll feel like a million dollars in 2 months. It has a lot to do with your everything, including your diet, your thought processes and even spiritual, not religious per se. I feel awesome every day. I'm on disability but I don't let that stop me. I'm able to do all of my homes maintenance inside and out without much pain. I ride a Yamaha 250 YZ 4-Stroke when it's nice out, I ride my little dune buggy on the local back roads and I pick up aluminum cans just for something positive to do for myself and the environment, I do the maintenance on 3 vehicles too. I also have a grand baby to keep up with. I'm constantly going is the jest of it. I do all of these things with an amputated right leg, below the knee, as well. About the easiest to start with is your mental and spiritual state. For that I recommend a YouTube channel by the name of 'Teal Swan'. She is a spiritual advisor. I don't agree with everything she says, but she can get you started in the right direction. Second, your diet. From the start, take in as little as possible of the following: 1. Gluten. It's something that's added to stuff like those powdered gravies you buy in the packets from the market. It's also found in tomato ketchup. Ketchup is the highest I have found so far. 2. Sugar. Sugar is the number 1 bone inflammatory in the world. When I say sugar, I mean all of it, including the artificial sweeteners found in sugar free Kool-Aid and diet sodas. The following is what I did that has improved my life so much. Eat more raw veggies, period. Do not eat too many meats, the reason is, is because when our bodies take in too much protein it will process or metabolize what is left that we don't need into sugar and even body fat. The body isn't careless and throw away 'energy' when it can store it. I recommend taking some Omega 3's for fatty acids. The fatty acids will do 2 things. First, it will repair ligaments in your joints. Trust me, I testify now that it works. Before I started taking it my joints would grind so bad I could hear them, which they don't now. Second, it will increase your metabolism. Who doesn't need or want that? If at all possible find some Aluminum Free Baking Powder or Soda, doesn't matter which. The reason is since any water supplied by the 'system' has Fluoride and Chlorine Bleach. They 'say' it's good for your teeth, but they're fibbing. What they're really doing is extracting the Alkali from the water. That's also the same stuff found in batteries to help them keep their power longer and better. Our bodies need it. All it takes is a sprinkle just like salt in a gallon container for drinking. You could even use it for unsweetened tea. I also put about 1/2 teaspoon in my bath water. That's right, I take baths, not a shower. It'll make the drinking water taste like it came from the top of a mountain back in the 50's before the 'fluoride and chlorine. It tastes great. I will warn you, when your body get's enough, you'll start to have a funny or bad taste in your mouth is all. Calcium. Your body needs it for proper digestion. It'll also help with things like Ulcers or Acid Reflux. Not including it's great to help your bones recover from the fluoride and chlorine. Iron. Iron helps keep your red blood cells high. It will help your immune system fight off any unwarranted 'stuff'. Just for thought, it wouldn't hurt to get organic veggies. The reason is because GMO's some farmers use for higher yields from the vegetable plant. GMO's are Genetically Modified Organisms. Any organism that's been modified, no matter your way of thinking can't be healthy, period. I also take a Men's Multivitamin called One-A-Day Pro-Edge. That helps the rest of the needed vitamins you may not be getting from food. It took me a long time to figure this stuff out because it's not like your doc will tell you the cause, they just write a script, that pharmaceutical companies make for money. They're all in it together to make money. All they do is prescribe something for the issue, they're not telling what's the cause is, it's that simple. I hope all of this helps you in some way. Keep fighting the good fight and hold your head up! Sincerely, Curtis P.S. The only meds I'm taking now are depression and high blood pressure. I haven't been to a pain clinic in almost a year for any type of narcotic for pain.

Good Day to all, The things I'm fixing to suggest are the same things I did. I was once in the very same boat as you. I tried going to the doc's, getting all types of prescriptions like testosterone shots, phentermine for diet, high blood pressure meds,bone inflammatory meds, fibromyalgia meds and depression meds. All at the same time. I took them for almost 3 years constantly, every day. Then I started doing my own research about all of my issues online in various places. I'm willing to bet you a dollar to a dog biscuit if you do it, and do it honestly without cheating yourself you'll feel like a million dollars in 2 months. It has a lot to do with your everything, including your diet, your thought processes and even spiritual, not religious per se. I feel awesome every day. I'm on disability but I don't let that stop me. I'm able to do all of my homes maintenance inside and out without much pain. I ride a Yamaha 250 YZ 4-Stroke when it's nice out, I ride my little dune buggy on the local back roads and I pick up aluminum cans just for something positive to do for myself and the environment, I do the maintenance on 3 vehicles too. I also have a grand baby to keep up with. I'm constantly going is the jest of it. About he easiest to start with is your mental and spiritual states. For that I recommend a YouTube channel by the name of 'Teal Swan'. She is a spiritual advisor. I don't agree with everything she says, but she can get you started in the right direction. Second, your diet. From the start, take in as little as possible of the following: 1. Gluten. It's something that's added to stuff like those powdered gravies you buy in the packets from the market. It's also found in tomato ketchup. Ketchup is the highest I have found so far. 2. Sugar. Sugar is the number 1 bone inflammatory in the world. When I say sugar, I mean all of it, including the artificial sweeteners found in sugar free Kool-Aid and diet sodas. Eat more raw veggies, period. If you eat too many meats, any type doesn't matter, the reason is, is because when our bodies take in too much protein it will process or metabolize what is left that we don't need into sugar and even body fat. The body isn't careless and throw away 'energy' when it can store it. I recommend taking some Omega 3's for fatty acids. The fatty acids will do 2 things. First, it will repair ligaments in your joints. Trust I testify now that it works. Before I started taking it my joints would grind so bad I could hear them, which they don't now. Second, it will increase your metabolism. Who doesn't need or want that? If at all possible find some Aluminum Free Baking Powder or Soda, doesn't matter which. The reason is since any water supplied by the 'system' has Fluoride and Chlorine Bleach. They 'say' it's good for your teeth, but they're fibbing. What they really doing is extracting the Alkali from the water. That's also the same stuff found in batteries to help them keep their power longer and better. Our bodies need it. All it takes is a sprinkle just like salt in a gallon container for drinking. You could even use it for unsweetened tea. I also put about 1/2 teaspoon in my bath water. That's right, I take baths, not a shower. It'll make the drinking water taste like it came from the top of a mountain back in the 50's before the 'fluoride and chlorine. It tastes great. I will warn you, when your body get's enough, you'll start to have a funny or bad taste in your mouth is all. Calcium. Your body needs it for proper digestion. It'll also help with things like Ulcers or Acid Reflux. Not including it's great to help your bones recover from the fluoride and chlorine. Iron. Iron helps keep your red blood cells high. It will help your immune system fight off any unwarranted 'stuff'. Just for thought, it wouldn't hurt to get organic veggies. The reason is because of the GMO's some farmers use for higher yields from the vegetable plant. GMO's are Genetically Modified Organisms. Any organism that's been modified, no matter your way of thinking can't be healthy, period. I also take a Men's Multivitamin called One-A-Day Pro-Edge. That helps the rest of the needed vitamins you may not be getting from food. It took me a long time to figure this stuff out because it's not like your doc will tell you the cause, they just right a script, that pharmaceutical companies make for money. They're all in it together to make money. All they do is prescribe something for the issue, they're not telling what's the cause that simple. I hope all of this helps you in some way. Keep fighting the good fight and hold your head up! Sincerely, Curtis P.S. The only meds I'm taking now are depression and high blood pressure. I haven't been to a pain clinic in almost a year for any type of narcotic for pain.

Same to you my friend. I'm sending you the positivity and good vibes. I know you'll enjoy getting away from everyday life for a while. My wife and I will be celebrating our anniversary on the 17th. I'm glad your going but I want you to know you will be missed. I'm wishing you well and be safe going and returning. I'll be sitting back and reading the mail until your return. We had a real nice cookout tonight with a campfire and all. I cooked pork chops on an open flame. Wow, what a difference a flame makes on a hunk of meat, especially from wood. I'll see you when you get back. Maybe I can talk you into downloading Skype and we could video chat if you're alright with it. I think it'd be awesome. Something to think about. Sincerely, Curtis

Brother, I never said to get her to have an affair. Let your spirit or third eye lead you. That's why you're having such a hard time to get her out of your mind. Your third eye is telling you to do it. There's something your body or spirit is telling you to do and you'll have to or your spirit will make you pay eventually. Do it man. You have to. No matter, love ya just the same my friend. Curtis