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TiffanyC last won the day on May 4 2014

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  1. I'm on my 9th day of the medication, initially started taking it for anxiety and now I feel like I've never been in such bad shape, not only am I more anxious, now I'm also depressed and anguished, feel lost. I wonder if I should stop taking the meds. This is really worrying me 

    thanks for any help out there 

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Ba3inga


      When you click on a forum you want to post, there is usualling  a box that you click that says start new topic not too far from the top, if you click on that, you should be good to go. 

      It can take several weeks for your body etc to adjust to medication. Im not had that type myself, but many have side effects, including suicidal thoughts with somecmeds when first taking. Then things settle down. Once you post your thread it forum, people with experience will more likely see and respond. You can also check out old topics whilst you are waiting, many may answer your concerns too.

      I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, but welcome to DF l hope you find the support you deserve.

    3. Full time Mom

      Full time Mom

      Thank you so so much, it means alot to have received my response and acknowledgement. I will start participating in these forums as I feel I really need some support 

      thanks again :)

    4. Ba3inga


      Hey no worries. It's a nice board and I'm glad l could help.

  2. I knew I would have a hard time this month. In a way I wonder if I even talked myself into in with the power of suggestion. I've always dreaded and hated January, February and March. The coldness and dreariness of it all. Monday was the first day my kids went back to school after a 2 week break, and after I got them off to school, it was only 7 am and barely light out, and so frigid...and I was sad that they were back in school after getting to spend a nice stretch of time with them all around....so I just got back in bed and stayed there pretty much all morning. I managed to get up around lunchtime and still got a good bit accomplished with regards to housework and errands. I even exercised. I told myself I wasn't going to get back in bed this morning and that I would have a really productive day, the house really needs a good cleaning and I have paperwork and bills to pay and a long, long, to do list....of things I can't seem to get motivated to do. But....I got back in bed again today and it was pretty much a repeat of yesterday...got some things done so I don't feel entirely lazy and useless. I just have little energy and I feel down. Not depressed like I was this time last year. Thank you Lord. I feel like a flower that wilts in the winter from lack of sunlight, and thrives in the summer sunshine. Well, for the next 3 days I have to go to work in the morning so I will not be able to get back in bed, and apparently that is a good thing, because when left to my own devices, I can't get motivated. And being at work is a distraction, focusing on other people and their problems and trying to get all of my work finished in a competent and timely manner. I work every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday this month. Anyone else have problems coping with winter blahs? What do you do to help yourself make it through these cold dark months?
  3. That's great news that you had 3 depression free months. Don't be so hard on yourself, you are not a moron or self-destructive. You're just going through a hard time. Maybe instead of using the stimulant/benzo combination you could try a more traditional antidepressant? Have you ever been on one that worked for you? Best wishes for your depression bout to end soon :)
  4. I managed to exercise for the second day this week :) Shoveled snow Picked up groceries Showered Changed sheets on my bed Cooked dinner for tonight and prepared a casserole and a crock pan meal for the next two days, and I'm super thrilled with myself for planning that out. I don't usually plan meals in advance and then I scramble to throw something together after getting home from work.
  5. Hi Milege :) Sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. It sounds like you probably could benefit from the antidepressant right now. Don't worry about what the long term side effects might be. Just focus on today, which is all you have, and how you can get yourself feeling better right now. You may only need to take it for 6 months to a year to get back to feeling ok again. Or, you may need it longer. You don't know that. No one knows. But what you do know is that today, this day, you are not doing well, and there is a medication that very well may be able to help you get your quality of life back again. As for the cost...I don't know about you, but my insurance does not cover the cost of a psychiatrist....that got to be very prohibitively expensive for me to pay out of pocket for that, at $100 a visit, so now I just go to my family doctor and pay a $10 copay. I would prefer to see my psychiatrist but I have found that the family doctor has been knowledgeable and helpful and you can't beat the cost. Hope that helps. Oh, and don't be afraid of what your doc thinks of you. Just tell him the truth. Trust me, he has seen it all and will not be surprised that you haven't been compliant. People are noncompliant with their meds all the time...it's not good, but it happens allllllll the time.....I know this because I am a home health nurse and I am always after people to take their meds as prescribed :)
  6. I vote for increasing to 20 mg :) That is what I take and it has been working for me for 9 months now. I know that is a common dose. It's better to at least try moving up to 20, and if that doesn't work, you could always switch to another med.
  7. I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted you to know you aren't alone. I have been seeing my therapist once a week for 4 years. I am often confused about what I feel for him. I often feel guilt as well, because I am married. Happily, I should add. I have never once desired another man or even looked at another man with longing, and I mean that. But it is different with my therapist. He is almost 20 years older than I am, which makes me think I have a "fatherly" type love for him, but, it is different from how I love my dad. It's not platonic, I guess you could say. Because I feel a romantic love for him too. At least I think I do, but he says I don't. We have discussed this several times, which he says is a good thing. He calls it transference and all, and yes I believe him...but it is still hard to wrap my mind around. I consider my relationship with him to be the most intimate of any other that I have ever had, besides the one with my husband. My therapist is the only other person who knows everything about me. My deepest, darkest secrets. My failures and triumphs. My fears. My goals. My failings. He has seen me at my very, very worst and lowest points, where all I could do was sit and cry and beg him to help me get better. It's a relationship like no other. I don't meet with any other person in my life on a weekly basis and bare myself down to my very soul. He is better than a best friend, and I like him as a person. I know a lot about him, due to the inevitable self disclosure that occurs after 4 years of therapy. I know he is a loving father and a loving husband. There is absolutely no way that either one of us would allow this relationship to be anything other than strictly professional. But it is still confusing all the same. That's why I have no advice....just want to tell you I know how you feel.
  8. Went to the grocery store Gassed up the car Went to the library and checked out two books that look good Got coffee Cooked a healthy dinner of roasted chicken, carrots and potatoes Did umpteen loads of laundry Packed away some more Christmas decorations
  9. Absolutely NOT! Pets are a WONDERFUL way to fill a void of loneliness! I have both a dog and a cat. Cats make terrific pets. They are low maintenance, which is good because when you are depressed and anxious, a high maintenance dog can exacerbate things (haha, ask me how I know :) ) But my cat....oh how I love that guy. He is loving and nonjudgemental and requires so very little of me for what I get in exchange from him.
  10. Exercise helps me a lot. I don't find that changing my diet helps. If anything, I feel better when I eat the comfort foods that are not technically good for me. But exercise....I know I feel better when I do it regularly. Just the feeling of having accomplished something is helpful, let alone the actual physical and mental benefits.
  11. Hi Bluetree, Yes, I feel this way too. I'm so glad the mad holiday shopping rush is over. I had to go out today and it really wasn't so bad. I picked up a few groceries, got gas and went to the library. Going to the library was my treat for doing my other errands. Sometimes I have to trick myself to get myself out of the house. So I tell myself if I do a few errands I can then get coffee or go to the library. A little weird, but it works for me. I need to do this more in the winter because I dread leaving my house in the cold. The other thing I do is try to get errands done on days that I work. Since I must leave the house to go to work, I am already out which makes it easier to run into stores when I pass them on the way home, rather than having to muster up the gumption to leave the house when I have nowhere to really be. It must be especially hard when you know you will run into people like exes and others that you don't wish to see. Do you live in a really small town? I live in a large town...not a city, but I don't usually see people I know when I go shopping. I would hate that.
  12. Hi Rachel, I'm glad you came here to find some solace and share with people who know how you feel :) A warm welcome to you.
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