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About Drakeyfox

  • Birthday 03/21/1994

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    Deep space

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  1. Hey man how you doin? haven't heard from you in a while 

  2. I'm praying to god to end my life BUT HE WONT **** ME. I'm drunk and angry at life. Some people get to be happy, others don't. I just wantto suck it up and stop being such a crybaby. Life will suck for me always, hopefully it'll all be over soon.
  3. The medicine works well enough for my mood, but that doesn't stop the waves of self loathing. This feels nothing.
  4. I've reached the point where I've seen all the tv shows and movies that can be seen and played all the games I want to play. Usually this is where people start to get a hobby or something. Not me though, I've tried everything and I can't get myself to legitimately enjoy doing anything. Even if I was competent and could actually do things like other people, I still just don't enjoy doing anything. All I feel now is this pent up energy in my chest to go do something but every time I actually do, I just feel drained and even more bored. Life is hell.
  5. Screaming inside my head. Why why why do I exist
  6. Abilify seems to be working but that's when you need to be really skeptical
  7. I don't even remember half the posts I make now Jesus I barely eat anymore, not because I'm depressed or anything, but I just don't really have to.
  8. Haven't stopped drinking for a long time. This is life now.
  9. Nobody takes me seriously. Whenever I express an opinion people disregard me or laugh at me. My mom laughed in my face at dinner and kept laughing when I stormed off angrily. There's no way to get ahead when you're a guy nobody takes seriously.
  10. My mom always asks if I've been drinking. It doesn't matter if I have or I haven't because she's already decided in her mind that I have. I don't need her to treat my alcoholism. I've already succumbed to it. On a different note, I started Abilify and I'm learning to be skeptical about drug effects.
  11. My mom managed to turn a discussion about me cooking beans for lunch into a screaming match about how I'm apparently lazy and selfish. She just makes up arguments to have a perceived moral high ground, I swear. Nothing I do is ever good enough, she constantly criticizes me and then makes a big show of how she's "on my side".
  12. Why do people ahve to yell at me for the littlest mistakes??? It was an ACCIDENT, it's not like I intentionally screwed up. All the time with my family. I make a minor error, get chewed out by one family member, and then the rest chime in. Sometimes I think I'm just their punching bag, but they don't even realize that.
  13. Saw a facebook post from an old friend that said that suicidal people should get over themselves and call a hotline. Hotlines are literally the worst thing you can do, they automatically send the cops to your house. Not only that but now I feel stupid for feeling the way I am.
  14. Trying to will my heart to stop. Of course it won't, but there's always that little sliver of hope.
  15. Mother accused me of being an alcoholic. Don't want to give up the only thing in life that still makes me feel good. People can be functional alcoholics. You just never realize it because they hide it so well. I'll have to practice being one of those people.
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