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Waluu's Achievements


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  1. Guided by a voice - feeder this band is so underrated
  2. Hi, I'm going through something similar, im an undergraduate though, studying physics. Today I had to skip classes because my mind was foggy from sleep deprivation and I wasn't understanding much, it's hard for me to unravel the meaning behind the symbols when my brain is like this, I know it might sound stupid but have you tried taking a bath just before going to bed?, in my case that seems to diminish the endless vortex of thoughts. Also stopping your "mathematical" activities at least half an hour before sleeping and distracting with another thing might help, I don't know, listening to music or playing the guitar helps my mind clear off , seems to cut the obsession. It sounds reasonable to be more cranky or depressed than usual when you haven't slept a lot, im sure a doctor could prescribe you something to help both problems and their cyclic perpetuation.
  3. I've had it for about three years now. Sometimes I think I have come to terms with it , specially when I'm alone , but when I'm at school and I see how differently people handle themselves, how they can form strong bonds between them is when I realize how disconnected I am , It's frustrating how hard it is to try to make friends without emotions, (not to mention that it wouldn't be that meaningful to you) , it's like , emotions are your guide when you are talking to someone, they give a harmonic flow to the information, but without emotions everything you say is a damn brick which stops the conversation altogether.
  4. hi, sorry you're going through this, i'm in a similar situation , i'm 22, i know living like this has a lot of downsides but maybe you can find some advantages to it too, for instance i've found that anhedonia gives me an unlimited amount of patience since i can't get frustrated or anxious, which is ideal for learning things that require quite some time to master, this also provides a good distraction, you won't get particularly hyped about whatever you do either but i always like to think that when i get better i'll appreciate this things i took the time to learn. i'm also taking amitryptiline, in my case it hasn't helped substantially at least regarding the lack of emotions, it has helped with brain fog for some reason which was another problem i had, it took a while to work though, this as you may know varies a lot from person to person so maybe if you give it the appropiate time it will help you,
  5. Hi, i read somewhere that Ginkgo Biloba could help restore GABA receptors, it is a GABA antagonist so maybe in the long run as your brain adapts to it more receptors could be synthesized,to counteract the Ginkgo, maybe you should check out BenzoBuddies, people there got symptoms by withdrawing from benzodiazepines which act on GABA receptors (as agonists), as their brain tries to counteract the drug it gets rid of some of these receptors so people end up with low GABA, there are other theories, anyway, theres a long post in the supplements section (of BenzoBuddies) where a lot of people tried Ginkgo, a considerable number got substantially better so maybe it does restore GABA levels , there are also some subtle issues regarding the Ginkgo formula , i remember most of them don't contain the right stuff (the thing with the antagonistic propierties) i'm sure you can clarify all that in that forum if you want to try it.
  6. Yes , I know what you mean I have given up on trying to make decisions about what to choose at the super market, like what cereal to buy, I just end up staring at things like a zombie without a thought crossing my brain, so now what I do is let the auto pilot do its thing, I think that has been getting better somehow lately though, regarding conversations I too find it extremely laborious, it just feel like whichever the topic theres just not a clear path for talking about it while getting a personal fulfillment out of the conversation so the only way to proceed is to end it as fast as you can, which just drives people away and they probably end up thinking you're prosaic, well at least that happens to me,
  7. Thanks , that was really interesting , I didn't know zinc could regulate the dopamine transporters, I don't know if i understood it correctly but the first one seems to suggest at the end that when zinc sticks to the transporter it "locks" it and prevents it from suffering changes in shape that could alter the functionality of the transporter, i had read somewhere that changes like this can occur as an adaptive response of the brain to drugs acting on receptors or transporters, so (just a hypothesis) maybe if people taking things like Ritalin which act on the transporters supplement with zinc it could prevent this changes from happening and maybe it could postpone tolerance for a while, on the other hand maybe the brain would go on to make more fundamental changes like altering the DNA section that encodes for the transporter, which is kind of scary, just a loose hypothesis anyway.
  8. Has anyone tried zinc, I know it sounds kind of dumb, but I've been taking like 25 mg a day this week and it's doing something, I'm more motivated and I've found myself thinking and dreaming awake , which was something impossible to do , maybe a factor in my anhedonia was low testosterone or something.
  9. Being presented with a colorless unsubstantial scene , trying to figure out the color of everything and trying to paint it on my own, except while I do that the scene keeps moving in its continuous fast pace and I'm never able to keep up.
  10. Hi, Thank for the response Yes, she thought the headaches where due to anxiety, I thought that too since they had been triggered by a stressful period in which I stupidly decided to take 2 courses in the vacation period so that I could slack a bit the next semester, It turned out to be a non sleeping nightmare, and one morning having slept like 2 hours at most I noticed a headache which is not very surprising really , however after that day no matter how much I slept the headache would be there every morning, it would lower in intensity a little throughout the day but it never dissipated entirely , after like a month of this I decided to see the neuro. probably the diazepam was for that , and I think amitriptyline is one of the first things to try for headaches, I have no clue about the perphenazine , it is commonly prescribed along with amitriptyline , but I think the combination is used for depression. There doesn't seem to be a lot of differentiation for this kind of disorders though, it seems like every disorder can imply with just a few assumptions every disorder, so she probably extrapolated depression from my anxiety. Perphenazine along with the crazy anti epileptics she prescribed because there seemed to be "a little bit of paroxistic behavior (sudden jumps I think) in the EEG" are the elements that don't fit entirely in the prescription. I've shown the EEG to three different neurologists and they seem to agree the spikes are so few they could be easily attributed to random fluctuations, or problems with the equipment. Yes it was very irresponsible to switch abruptly between these not completely analogous meds, she had stated repeatedly in previous appointments that we would have to reduce this gradually and suddenly she changed her mind because it was such a little dose that I was taking, she was never coherent in her statements , methods or even diagnosis, an appointment I would have generalized anxiety disorder, the next one headaches due to muscular contracture whatever that means. I was stupid to think I was being polite in not pointing this things out , or asking for more detailed explanations. Ironic thing is I don't have the headaches anymore , they stopped when all my withdrawal symptoms began, anyway I hope things get better consistently somehow.
  11. sorry for the relatively long post The cause for my anhedinia was a ridiculously low dose of a cocktail drug called adepsique (sold here in Mexico, i think exclusively) containing 10 mg amitriptiline (Tricyclic AD) , 3mg perphenazine (antipsychotic) and 2mg Diazepam (benzo) , i was prescribed that by a neurologist for daily headaches, i took one tablet every night for 7 months approximately, it never worked but every time i went to my monthly consult she would tell me i just had to give it more time and maybe add some anti-epileptic to the treatment, in retrospective it was clear she didn't have a clue what she was doing , and was just throwing meds to see if something "sticked" , however i was naively confident she knew something i didn't, but anyway after 7 months she changed the medication to alprazolam without any tapering , so i did the switch and after 2 days i was living in a constant daze, everything was blurry, my thoughts were horribly slow and weak, i couldn't do anything, i tried to e-mail her, but she told me maybe it was a little withdrawal and it would go away in a few days, i should have reinstated but i wasn't able to think very well, and i thought maybe it was just the new med , a month went by i don't know how, i can't remember a lot from that time, and i wen't to see her, she thought i was crazy and implied this was the result of a personal situation i wasn't telling her, that's when it finally hit me she didn't have a clue, i neever saw her again , and she didn't bother to e-mail me , i was completely anhedonic back then but my main concern was my deteriorated cognition, i would hear someone talk to me and it was like my brain had lost its core programming to proccess that information, wourds were just noises, the magical thing is that sometimes i would slur those noises myself in response, my brain was running in auto-pilot, i had read in some forums like benzobuddies that this would get better on its own so i refused treatment for a whole year, well it didn't get not even slightly better, so i decided to go to a neurologist again, i have a weird relationship with this neurologist, were he'll propose me the treatment he thinks that will help (at first SSRIs which i had refused to take for obvious reasons) and if i accept it he'll hear my gibberish about receptors, and most likely do something about it , currently i've gotten bettter cognitively with amitriptiline and modafinil. however anhedonia is relentless, in this last week i've been dropping my dose of modafinil and i've had periods were i'm emotionally decent.
  12. I meant perfenazine not perfecting , damn auto-correct
  13. Hi, I'm new to this forum though I've been reading it for a while, I might introduce myself in another section of the forum, but the short story is I got full blown anhedonia from a supercocktail drug (containing amitriptiline perfecting and diazepam) they sell here in Mexico this part of not being able to picture things has been really troubling to me, I just don't seem to be able to do it , I wanted to ask : has your experience with reading novels and stuff changed drastically?, sometimes I find myself doing more abstract work, you know like analyzing how parts connect without caring about their meaning and of course this happen because I can't really perceive that flavor of words and images ,heck I can't even imagine images, I know flavor of words is a lame description but I hope you know what I mean, The point was that I never get a grasp of the essence of things , I might give just some quite abstract generalities, but when it comes to differentiate the details of elements inside the story I just have a hard time, does this happens to anyone?
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