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Everything posted by Tingles

  1. GerPronouncedGrr You are very inspirational to me. You have a family life, job, have traveled and do meditation. It sounds like you have coped with anhedonia well. Thank you for sharing your experience.
  2. Thank you Trevor for giving me hope and helping me to keep going.
  3. austin270707, I'm hoping to give an answer to that in a little while. I'm on 1.25 mg of zyprexa and weaning down. Are you off all meds?
  4. I like this article on dopamine. It mentions that a deficiency results in a lack of attachment and feelings of love. http://drwardbond.weebly.com/dr-bonds-blog/depression-low-dopamine-not-low-serotonin
  5. I'm going to start reducing my low dose zyprexa to 1.25 mg. I wonder if I'm still here underneath this.
  6. Sorry DaneClark, but I just don't know. Good luck.
  7. SolarFlare87, Thanks for sharing your story. I too had a mania and psychosis. Mine was due to extreme stress in 2012. I'm taking a little bit of zyprexa and will be weaning off soon. I don't know if the anhedonia was caused from the breakdown or meds. Can you experience emotions?
  8. Snow55, I know what it's like to feel so hopeless. This thread has helped me to realize that there are other people existing in this nothingness and lack of feeling and if other people are able to get through day by day then I can try to do it too. My mom always says to take it one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time. I realize even though I cant experience anything I can still "do" things to make a difference in other people's lives. Maybe it's cooking a meal or smiling at a stranger. It feels empty but I can still have an impact and cause an affect. I realized this when the fire in the wood stove was almost out and was nothing but a few dying embers. I blew on it and the embers glowed brighter and soon a fire was burning again. Even though I cant feel anything, I realized my own breath was able to still cause an outcome. I hope you know that you can still "contribute to the betterment of mankind" and have something to offer. I don't have GAD but maybe it would be helpful to do more social things whether that's a dating site, joining a gym or volunteering so you're not so alone. I know there's no reward. It might help be distractions and make the day go by faster. Everyday is a struggle. I try to tell myself simple things just to keep going like I have clean water or that I can taste food. Hang in there.
  9. nighthawk37, a research study group would be good. There needs to be more research on this condition. Here is a response I got from a neuroimaging research facility that does fMRIs. "It sounds like a difficult condition!! The scanning that we do here is for research purposes with very specific stimulus to show specific brain activity. I will ask some people i know that may have a project that is looking for people with your condition. fMRI is a challenging technique to build an experiment for and it usually requires scanning several people who's data is merged in order to get enough signal to even see changes. I will see if i can find anything useful for you." I think structurally the brain probably looks normal in people with anhedonia but I wonder if it would be different functionally with regards to emotions and rewards.
  10. So I found a research study at ClinicalTrials.gov. by Mclean hospital for anhedonia and healthy individuals. They are actively recruiting. It is called Brain Mechanisms of Emotion and Motivation. It says " the purpose of this study is to investigate how the brain processes emotions and the way these processes affect behavior. It's two sessions, 7.5 hours and you do game-like tasks using a keyboard. They test saliva, blood and do a fMRI (brain mapping). I don't qualify because of the low dose medication I'm on but,I think it would be great to have a fMRI of my brain. Maybe someone else would be interested. Here is the link. http://clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT01850472?term=Anhedonia&rank=7
  11. I would really like to find a place that could perform a functional MRI to see whether or not my brain actually registers emotions. Mostly it's done in a research setting but I'm going to look into it.
  12. That is the one thing I can do. I can taste and enjoy food. Pjs 14- did your doctor mention anything that might help you since a ssri probably wouldn't. Did he offer you any insight?
  13. pdv- how are you. Have you recovered from anhedonia?
  14. Bivic- I do not experience any feelings including anxiety. You could probably put me in the most stressful catastrophic situation and I would be as cool as a cucumber. As for exercise I usually try to walk or elliptical 1-2 miles everyday. I can't feel the exercising like I use to (use to love it!) but now I force myself to do a little because it suppose to create good endorphin release and help your neurotransmitters. Dicenvice- I'm sorry that you have chronic back pain and anhedonia. If there's something that would be worse than anhedonia it's having chronic pain in addition to it.
  15. Trevor, I'm glad you're getting better. What kinds of rewards are you able to experience?
  16. I just wanted to say that this thread has helped me not be so suicidal because I realize there are other people struggling with this soul forsaken nothingness every day. Thank itstrevor for starting it.
  17. I want to feel alive , I know exactly what you're taking about that dead feeling. My family thinks that I have emotions because I laugh and smile and my face is animated but inside there is nothing. Sometimes they say yes you have emotions and I try to explain that I don't and how hard this is to exist like this but from the outside you can't tell because I try to be cheery like I use to be before anhedonia.
  18. @pjs 14 It takes a very strong, humane and compassionate person to stand up for classmates against bullies. You are to be commended. One of my favorite quotes is by Gandhi "be the change you wish to see in the world". I don't know how to practice that now with anhedonia. I didn't even know that who we are could be taken away. You are so right that there is nothing to fight against. There's nothing to muster in order to get through this like you would in other situations. It's just like you said... well, it's nothing. I would be interested to hear how your psych appointment goes. If I could I would send you and everybody else love, hugs and healing.
  19. @pjs 14 I was under ALOT of stress. Then I didn't sleep and I had psychosis. I was put on zyprexa. I do not know if the anhedonia is from the psychotic breakdown or from the med because I'm on a really low dose. Before anhedonia I was the most loving and compassionate person and had a strong spiritual connection with God. I felt like God guided me through my heart. My kids always said that I lived in the pond of love because I felt so much love for everybody. I believed in love, kindness, compassion, forgiveness. Now there's nothing. I have to believe it's still real but it's like clouds covering the sky. The sun is still there you just can't see it. Love is still there. We just can't experience it so it doesn't seem real anymore. It's hard to contribute to the world when you can't feel love. Just to be able to feel a tinge of love or connection would be heaven. I guess we can still creative positive outcomes for others. You're able to do so much even though you feel like the walking dead. Congratulations on your business and soon to be graduation from college! That's really wonderful you're able to accomplish so much. Are you sure about ECT? Do you suppose it would help?
  20. I've been this way for two years and three months. It's so very hard. I feel like this is the way I'm going to have to live for the rest of my life. It's like I have to live completely selfless because I still can affect change with my actions but I just can't feel anything from it. How about you pjs 14? How long have you had anhedonia? How did it start and how do you cope with daily living?
  21. I don't have any emotions but also my physical sensations of pleasure are really dulled so it's hard to experience anything except for taste. I'm thankful for that.
  22. Me too. I wish I could feel love again for my children. I would rather be in a wheelchair and have my love and feelings like I use to have. In a heartbeat.
  23. Thank you itstrevor for the hope and information. I'm so glad your anhedonia is getting better.
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