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jungle5000

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  1. I suffer with depression and I have for many years since i was 12 years old. Finally last year i went to get diagnosed as out of the ordinary i started failing exams which is not like me. They started me on anti-depressants and I have been seen the doctor telling him i am taking them. I actually tried to help myself and take it but every time i do i feel like i am way stronger than few pills. some how i cannot seem to change that mentality purely because of my past experiences and the struggles i have overcome. However,today i deactivated facebook along with all the other social networking sites. I am currently studying in a foreign country so i am away from my friends back home and i decided from the beginning not to make much friends here also so i only made one friend. i had been quite tired of socialising. Lately, even when good guys try to get close to me and i feel like i am getting attached i quickly cut off ties. At the moment i dont see my doctor and I wont for another 3 months until summer holidays. I am constantly feeling guilty towards my friends i always feel like i must have done something for them not to be happy around me. I have also decreased the talking to my parents as i want to be alone but then i feel very guilty and think in life there is death and one day i may regret the way i am acting. My question is whether this sense of guilt part of my depression? Also, why do i keep isolating myself from the good people that are in my life? Please let me know if you have had similar experiences as it may bring some comfort to this situation i am stuck in. thanks in advance to all the responses.
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