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About Luciernaga89

  • Birthday 06/10/1989

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  1. I don't know if this is the right place for me to share my inner struggles/thoughts, but I thought "Why not give it a try?". I am a person full of psychological disorders. I discover a new one almost each week. I've never seen a therapist, cause I don't really believe he/she can help me. Actually, nobody can help me. I am the only one that can do that. I tried to talk to friends/family/bf, but nothing happens in the long run.. This sadness inside me never really goes away. Sometimes I think it's gone and I'm fine, but unfortunately, it's always coming back. Let's focus on one of my many problems right now. As the title says, I feel useless. Or maybe I am useless. I am 25, still living with my parents, still struggling to finish uni, still doing nothing. I disappointed my parents, and worst of all, myself. I hate my so called "friends", but I keep hanging with them, cause I don't want to be alone at home all the time. Everybody's moving on with their lives, they move out of the country for work or for a master or whatever, they get married, make families.. To sum it up, they live an independent life, as yound adults must do. And I'm still on the same page, no moving forward, stuck at this house, at this f*****g university which I hate. I feel trapped. I can see the solution, but I can't motivate myself! I want to leave this country and live abroad for many reasons, but mostly because I've always wanted to. And without my degree, this dream seems rather elusive... I know I should be grateful for the things I already have, and I do, but the pain doesn't go away, no matter what. I will waste my life and my dreams, I can see that already... How can I motivate myself to go after my dreams, to not be scared of failure, of people? I don't really know why I'm writing this, what different advice I expect to hear. But as I said before, why not give it a try? Thanx for reading (if anybody cared enough to read this anyway).
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