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lostinlife2

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  1. Welcome. I'm not scared to die either, but often wonder how it will happen. As for shooting everyone who believe everything they hear, I wouldn't go that far... what they need is education of the mind.
  2. So true. People look for negative, shocking news, and the media is more than happy to supply them because they make money, it doesn't matter if they hurt or degrade people, as long as they make headlines. It' all so wrong.
  3. Hi, I only watch fragments of news reports on tv, occasionally, and don't read the papers anymore, haven't done it for years now. Maybe I'm too cynical, but I believe the media play an unfair game with the gullible minds who believe everythihg they tell them. I like to think with my own mind and believe that nothing is what it seems. Conspiracies exists, and some truth will never been known, but we can try. I think the world as we know it will end gradually, we'll probably just pollute one another to death, but I also believe that life is eternal, so a spark will somehow start a new life, somewhere.
  4. I am sorry you are feeling this way. You said you have people around you, are they family, friends, anybody you can talk about your feelings? Talking to someone you can trust can really help. Don't give up.
  5. Hi Lofarabia, I feel tired and lifeless most of the times although at times, mostly weekends, I still get those precious 'life is beautiful' moments that make me feel alive and I start making plans, thinking of future projects and even looking forward to new adventures. But these moments don't last long and don't come often enough, so when a new working week starts again reality comes back too. I also get nausea and a feeling of tightness in the stomach. I think these symptoms can be related to anxiety,like dizziness and headaches. I hope you can find an answer to your question soon.
  6. I think about my past and all the things that I did wrong all the time. I know regrets are useless and damaging but I am convinced that if I did make different decisions when I had a chance I wouldn't be in the depressive situation I am now. The problem is, I also deep down believe that all major events in our lives are connected and each one leads to particular experiences that for some reason we have to experience, even if at the time we don't see the connection. This thought sometimes makes me feel slightly better but all the regrets are still there.
  7. I read this thread last night. Today, at work, someone made a remark about me that made me feel yet again like an *****. Plain stupid, I don't know if this person really meant it, but I know that they didn't realize the effect their words would have on me and my already weak self esteem. So now I am reading your posts again and they have such a powerful meaning to me because they are so personal. I think depression always involves lack of self esteem but I don't think lack of self esteem necessarily causes depression. At this time, right now, I feel trapped by both.
  8. I don't think love is ever lost... forgotten maybe but never lost.
  9. What do you mean? To me, anything is tolerable as long as you can escape it. Any monster your mind can create is tolerable, as long as you can break free. But if you're fully paralyzed, or banned access to "escape routes", so to speak, you realize you're trapped with yourself. I just can't imagine that. It's the some reason the concept of eternal life is terrifying for me. I understand how you feel because I always look for a way out, a way to escape a situation I'm in and don't want to be. Even if I don't take that route, I know that it's there and it makes me feel better, more in command. I hate being trapped. There is always a way out if we really look deep to find it, but we can't escape death. Eternal life on earth would be intolerable. What do you mean? To me, anything is tolerable as long as you can escape it. Any monster your mind can create is tolerable, as long as you can break free. But if you're fully paralyzed, or banned access to "escape routes", so to speak, you realize you're trapped with yourself. I just can't imagine that. It's the some reason the concept of eternal life is terrifying for me.
  10. I think they are both terrifying thoughts, but for me dementia is the worst one. I am relatively ready to die alone, but I am not ready for dementia.. this is my ultimate fear, loss of control, depending on others, strangers, I couldn't cope with it.
  11. I have been thinking about CBP for a while, but I have to know more about it. Any book you can suggest?
  12. I don't know your circumstances, but I just wanted to say, don't take all the blame.. it takes two in most cases.
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