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overthedeepend last won the day on April 19 2014

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About overthedeepend

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  1. I called into work to take the day off to deal with a problem with my house. My basement had flooded and part of a wall came apart. 15 hours later I now know how & why the water is coming in and how to fix it
  2. Good points. I usually wait a bit before mentioning it to people unless of course I am having a bad day, then I just seem to open mouth and it all comes out. The first time is always the worst for me. I actually do "homework". Homework is writing out lists - 2 of them. The first one is kind of easy, its topics. The second one is a list of what I may panic about - this is things like I may sound stupid, I may spill something. Beside the "bad" thoughts I write out positive thoughts to balance it out. For example should I miss my mouth and end up wearing my food I always make a joke about it - "you would think I would have figured out how to eat by now" and then laugh
  3. No reason to worry about bringing her to your place. Just tell her the next time you get your hair cut that your room mates are slobs. In my case I just explain my house is under renovations. If I were you, I would try to go back to the same place at the same time to see if she is there and if the same thing happens, get her number or give her yours. :)
  4. Some ask for personal info in the first email that they send, others ask for sex in the first email. Thank you, at least the few that have asked after a bit of time chatting maybe ok? I have no problems meeting them for a coffee after the 3rd or 4th message but hate the thought of it not going well and they can still contact me. I guess part of that is having a friend that got so demanding that I told them to take a hike (in a nice way). Then the non stop phone calls, the emails, the text started. When the friend finally got the hint, next started the nasty comments to our circle of friends. Needless to say, I lost them all. :(
  5. Hey 2NE1 You are not alone. Although I am twice your age, I still feel that need to be wanted. I think part of it has to do with loving ourselves. I know that I worry too much about what others think or me when I should be worried about what I think of myself. I don't think it has as much to do with race but self worth. People come into your life for an hour, a day, a week or a lifetime depending on what you need at that moment. I try to just enjoy it as it comes (which is still not the easiest thing to do).
  6. thank you I have had a dozen or so people that have emailed through the site and asked for my personal email address. I have said no in all cases thinking that if they were "good" people they would get to know me on the site before making that request. I don't know if that is the panic effecting my choice to any email/chat on the site.
  7. Yes you will feel clean again. Each person's path through the experience in different. The best place that I found that helped was a rape group. I had first seen a pdoc and I threw a chair at his head when he told me he knew how I felt. NO he did not...he had never been raped add to that it was a friend. :( I found the people that have walked your path will be the most supportive, kindest and helpful that you will find. As for hurting others and yourself, often when we can't say the words we will do things that make the people around us pay attention. It is kind of like a shield that pops up to protect us. For some it is hurting ones self, for others it is drugs, getting into trouble with the law or blacking out. I did all of them before I finally got help. I had told my mom but it took years for her to believe me. I learned to love myself again after talking with others that had gone through it was well. Seeing how they copped. {{{hugs}}} you are not alone in this
  8. thanks all, my biggest is fear is getting fooled by someone that appears to be nice and turns out not so nice
  9. I just joined a dating site which may have been a big mistake. Any suggestions on how to garden shrub out the trouble ones? Being depressed makes me more likely to meet up with someone that is not good for me mentally...which is I wonder if I made a mistake.
  10. pink paint in the hair is not a good look
  11. You asked what you should do.....give yourself a hug, look in the mirror and be thankful you are yourself. Most of the younger people that I know have no clue who they are and find it much easier to just be sheep. I was in the same way as a youth and still find it like that at my age. I now take joy in "shocking" people that don't get that gender doesn't matter.
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